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This is a section for scenes from DSK with the writer's original behind-the-scenes discussions intact. Think of this like DSK: Director's Commentary. Some of them offer interesting insight into what's going on in the scene, others are just silly jokes. Well, most of them are silly jokes. If you don't get some of the jokes, well, don't worry. You're probably not as nutty about video games/Harry Potter/anime as we are, so don't worry about it. Well, on with the show!

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CHAPTER 67
Tifanel: *Turns for a moment from his fight.* Come on Kuja, you're the last person I'd expect to suddenly show they have a sentimental side. Where's the homicidal maniac we've all seen you as?
Kuja: *Slowly draws a knife from under his clothes. Without turning around, he stabs the knife into a Hollow-Thorn that is coming up behind him, shattering it. A glimmer of malice lights his dark eyes.* He's right here...
(Anthony: Aaaargh!)
(Lauren: What? What?)
(Anthony: Scaryknifekujaman!)

Tifanel: Ok, that's not good...
(Anthony: Ares! Brb)
(Lauren: Lol yeah, blame Ares.)

Hollow-Thorn: Little one, you won't beat me with darkness!
????: Then how about light?
(Lauren: It's Dr. Light!!!!)
(Anthony: Rofl yes!)
(Anthony: No.)
(Lauren: Lmao.)

*The Hollow-Thorn screams, and soon the joint efforts of Mihako, Kuja, Tobias and Thorn cause it to shatter into thousands of pieces like the others.*
(Anthony: What's the matter, afraid of the light?)

Mihako: Lierlo, what were you and Allen doing last night? I noticed you were not in your room, so I went to look for you and found you in Allen's bed. The two of you were doing something very odd and making very strange noises. I was wondering what you were... *Trails off as Lierlo gives her a threatening look.*
(Anthony: Did you know that there's a golfing term called an 'Allen screw'?)
(Lauren: Lmao, omg!)

TOP

......

CHAPTER 105
(Lauren: Recap, now with 25% less fat.)
*Kuja and Li frantically work the controls and manage to pull the ship upwards. However, it still makes a very rough landing, bumping into the ground, sliding along and colliding into the side of a mountain. Everyone inside is thoroughly shaken, but luckily unharmed.*
Thorn: Is everyone okay?
Kitzie: I bumped my bottom...
Red: I think we're going to be going it on foot from now on...
Laurenza: *Nods.* It sounded like we crashed into something.
Kuja: *Looks like he may explode with anger at any moment.* I'm going outside to check the full extent of the damage... *Opens the doors and walks out. They hear him roar with rage.*
(Anthony: Tee hee, like a lion.)
(Lauren: Lol yes!)

CHAPTER 106
(Lauren: Recap: it's better than a kick in the face!)
(Anthony: It sure is.)

Tifanel: *Squints into the distance.* There's a town up ahead. Maybe someone can help us fix the ship there?
Lierlo: Perhaps, and even if we can't get it fixed right away, it wouldn't hurt to take this journey on foot.
(Lauren: Spongebob: All that walking is good for your buns and thighs. 'Ja! Buns and thighs!')
(Anthony: Lmao.)
(Lauren: Hee hee.)

Laurenza: Kuja could always... dress up as a girl...
Red: Hmm, I think he could get away with it.
Li: Considerin' how much he looks like one already.
Kuja: Shut up...!
Laurenza: *Starts rooting through Kuja's bag.* I'm sure you'll have something... aha! *She pulls out that red dress of his.* What's this?
Li: Oh. My. God.
Tifanel: Hey Kuja, did you borrow that off your mum or did you buy it all for yourself? *He and Li burst out laughing.*
Thorn: At least he didn't videotape his sister in a romantic embrace.
(Lauren: *Whip crack.*)
(Anthony: Lol.)

Li: *Stops laughing very rapidly.*
Tifanel: Ooh, he got you there, Li.
Laurenza: Shh... It's a good thing Kuja had this dress, now isn't it? *Hands it to him.* Put it on.
Kuja: *Looks reluctant.* No.
Thorn: Come on Kuja, for me?
Kuja: Darn, that gets me every time. *Goes behind a tree for a moment. When he comes back, he is wearing the dress. He looks quite pretty, but more like a man in a dress than anything.*
Laurenza: Hmm... Something's missing.
Celaselle: *Pokes Kuja's totally flat chest.* I'll say.
(Anthony: This is very FFVII.)
(Lauren: It is. But they're not going to the gym to win a blonde wig, or getting makeup from the Honey Bee Inn girls, or cologne from the girl in the loo...)
(Anthony: Lol.)

Kitzie: Creepy Guy doesn't have any boobies! *Giggles.*
Kuja: Thank you for pointing that out, Kitzie...
Thorn: Well, what could he use instead?
*Laurenza reaches into her bag and takes out a bra. Lierlo fishes out two oranges from his.*
(Lauren: Lol, why is Lierlo carrying two oranges with him?)
(Anthony: Oranges are a good source of Vitamin C.)
(Lauren: Good point. And there is one for Lierlo and one for Apathy.)

*They enter Fidea. The buildings are all of a similar colour scheme to those peoples' outfits. The city looks like something out of a children's storybook, walls of houses like pink wafer biscuits with strawberry icing roofs. Everywhere they look are couples: men and women, all holding hands, kissing and talking. There are pink and red heart-shaped balloons in the air all around them.*
Red: It's like Hell. Only worse.
(Lauren: Lol.)
(Anthony: I said the same thing when I first walked into Poundland.)
(Lauren: Lol.)

*They go inside. The inside of the building does not look much like a temple. The floor is made of white tiles and the doors are bamboo partitions. There is a faint sound of trickling water from in the distance.*
Kuja: Ok... not very temple-ish in here, is it?
Red: Not very. What's that sound?
Tifanel: Sounds like water.
*Just then, a plump man and woman, in the same magenta clothes as the people at the gates, come out from one of the bamboo partitions.*
Woman: Welcome to the Springs of Hot Passion!
(Lauren: My brother thought that sounded really dirty.)
(Anthony: Lol it does kinda.)

Red: *Picks a bikini off the rack and goes into the cubicle next to Kuja's*
Kuja: *Can be heard mumbling from his cubicle.* I'm a short guy but I'm a big man... How am I going to fit into this crazy thing?
(Lauren: PENIS. *Cough.* Uh, sorry about that, I was momentarily possessed by Freud.)
(Anthony: Yeah, that happenis to me all the time.)

*They find themselves in a garden area. The hot springs are about the size of a small swimming pool and are full of hot, bubbling water. Grass and sweet-smelling flowers are growing around the edges. Thorn and Tifanel are already in the springs, along with other couples.*
Tifanel: Hey look, it's the girls.
(Anthony: Lol, you make it sound like Thorn and Tif are a couple. Thorn and Tifanel are already in the springs, along with other couples…)
(Lauren: Lmao sorry.)

Red: Hmm... I wonder how the others are getting on?
Tifanel: They've either found that temple place by now, or got distracted by something cool in this city like we did.
Red: I just hope they're not in trouble...
(Lauren: *Cut to a scene with Lierlo, Laurenza, Li and Scorn running away from some giant monster.*)
(Anthony: *Cut to a scene with Lierlo, Laurenza, Li and Scorn running away from some giant ice cream cones.*)
(Lauren: Lmao, surreal!)

Tifanel: *Chasing after her.* I've been trying to catch her for like five minutes now!
Thorn: Aren't you forgetting you know Vincere?
Tifanel: Yeah, I am actually. I forget I have it all the time. Man, I could pull some awesome pranks on Li... Vincere! *Kitzie is frozen. Tifanel takes his trousers and puts them on. He looks at the Kitzie-statue* That's so cool.
(Lauren: 'I forget I have it all the time.' Translation: Lauren forgets he has it all the time.)

Tifanel: You sure did. *He puts on his jacket, picks up Kitzie and puts her back in his pocket.* You little horror.
(Anthony: Lol, I must be tired. I thought he said 'you little honour.')
(Lauren: Lol aww.)
(Anthony: Heh heh.)
(Lauren: That's the second time Tif has called Kitzie a 'little horror.' He likes her really, in a fond 'she's like a little sister' kind of way. Not an ooky paedophilic messy slash kind of way.)

CHAPTER 107
Celaselle: *Quietly, to herself.* At least some of them made it in. *She turns to the door and is about to run across to it, but she notices the water. She lets out a terrified, high-pitched scream and jumps back several feet.* Water! Oh, and to think I almost stepped in it! *She throws down her staff and it stretches into a log bridge that goes over the water. She carefully walks across it, then picks up the bridge as it changes back into her staff.* That's better. *She goes through the door and catches up with the others.*
(Lauren: Anyone would think it was dog turd she nearly stood in.)
(Anthony: Lol.)

Scorn: Are you a wicked witch?
Celaselle: *Looks embarrassed for a moment, but then laughs.* No, no. Not the last time I checked, anyway.
(Anthony: Heh heh, 'What a world, what a world.')
*They walk down a long corridor for a while. Many prayers to Aphrora are carved into the walls around them.*
Li: So, 'Aphrora?' Goddess of Love, I'm guessin'.
Kuja: Goddess of Love and Sexuality. I have a feeling she's a lesser deity of Amyrianism, but Lierlo would probably slap me with a textbook and tell me I'm wrong.
(Lauren: That image is quite hilarious.)

*Scorn seems to have bought a chunky, daft-looking necklace that she is now tying round her neck.*
(Lauren: Bahah, daft like her.)
(Anthony: Yup.)

Kuja: So we really didn't have to come here after all.
Scorn: I don't know; I did get this very nice necklace.
Kuja: Brilliant, that makes it all worthwhile.
(Anthony: *Sarcasm meter explodes.*)

Li: ...Are you thinkin' about Red?
Tifanel: *Blinks.* How did you know?
Li: Oh come on, Tif, I see the way you look at her. I ain't as dumb as I look.
(Lauren: Matter of opinion.)
(Anthony: Lol, yeah.)


Li: *Puts his hand on Tifanel's shoulder.* Man... I'm sorry. You always seem to get a rough time with girls.
(Anthony: Yeah, they're always dying... or being lesbians... or both.)

CHAPTER 108
Kitzie: *Is banging a spoon against one of the pots they used for breakfast.* La la la!
Red: Well, at least it's more musical than Thorn's fiddle...
(Lauren: Lmao that's horrible!)
(Anthony: Lol yeah.)

Thorn: *Takes the map.* Hmm, it looks like it should be just south of this point, not a long walk. Let's go!
(Lauren: For a split second, I misread that as 'Takes a nap.')

*The others follow him. The gang squeeze their way into the giant tent and find some great seats near the front row. Thorn looks very excited and takes it upon himself to buy a big box of popcorn (that everyone else is helping themselves to as well). After a while of waiting, the spotlights flicker on to reveal a tall man standing in the centre of the tent. He is wearing a large top hat, a suit that is covered in black and white stripes and he is holding a long cane. He is evidently the Ringmaster.*
(Lauren: No curly moustache, though.)
(Anthony: Lol no.)

Ringmaster: You haven't seen anything yet. The show has only just begun! *He swings his cane again and many of the circus attractions swarm the tent. They seem to be performing beyond what is physically possible, though. The clowns are flying over the audience's heads, throwing buckets of golden shining light. Even members of the audience are flying as well, carried by the odd Magick of the place. Swarms of brightly-coloured birds fly everywhere, multiplying and vanishing as they go. Even the seats the audience are sitting on seem to be moving, and are changing colours and shape before their eyes.*
(Lauren: Trippy.)

Kuja: But if that were the case, it would mean someone else made all those horrible things appear during the show...
Thorn: Maybe they don't want things to go right for the Ringmaster...
Kuja: Maybe. *Kicks aside a spilled container of popcorn.* Of course, this is all speculation until we find something to back it up.
(Anthony: Time for Thorn to do something clumsy, comical and Thorn-like.)
Thorn: You're right... *He sighs and leans against a wall for a second, which opens up, causing him to fall through.* Aaargh!
(Lauren: Lol.)
Kuja: *Tries to repress a smirk and goes to Thorn.* Are you ok?
(Anthony: Lol, mean Kuja.)
(Lauren: Yeah.)

Thorn: The fear, the monsters. All those images that appeared during the show, that's what she's feeling. That's what she sees you as...
Ringmaster: *Lowers his head.*
(Lauren:*…And makes a sad Bo noise.*)

Thorn: Oh no you don't... *He runs to the Ringmaster and attempts to tackle him, but is hit by a powerful beam of power from the Ringmaster's cane.*
(Anthony: What? A powerful beam of power? That's so lame. Let me do that again.)
(Lauren: Lol, okay.)

Thorn: Oh no you don't... *He runs to the Ringmaster and attempts to tackle him, but is hit by a powerful beam of energy from the Ringmaster's cane.*

CHAPTER 109
*They leave the city. Lierlo consults the map again to check on the directions. At that moment, Celaselle appears.*
(Anthony: *Pop!*)

Laurenza: Who's there?
Voice: Just a minute, we're not ready yet. *There is a rustling in the bushes.*
(Anthony: Lol sillies.)

Woman: *Looks offended.* We emissaries of Amyrian are not cheesy tourist entertainers!
Man: In a bleak world of darkness, we are the lone, shining candle of hope!
(Lauren: I'm pissing myself coming up with these corny lines. ^^; )
(Anthony: Lol I bet.)

Woman: I am Esther!
Man: And I am Emilio!
Both: And we are the Hallowed Knights! *They pose again.*
(Anthony: Meowth: That's right!)
(Lauren: Lmao.)

Saffron: *Is very excited.* I'm finally home! *She takes Thorn's hand and runs into the town with him.*
(Lauren: Naw, someone likes Thorn :P)
(Anthony: Yeah, I bet Kuja's livid with rage.)
(Lauren: Lol not really, I doubt Thorn would dump him for an underage girl.)
(Anthony: Lol no.)


Laurenza: *Holds down her dress so it doesn't blow up, revealing her underwear.* It's very windy here...
(Lauren: Lol, I only noticed how funny that sounds after I sent it. 'Blow up.')
(Anthony: Lol, explody Laurenza.)
(Lauren: Lol I'm gonna change it.)

Laurenza: *Holds down her dress so it doesn't waft up, revealing her underwear.* It's very windy here...

Kitzie: Hi Saffy! *Looks at one of the wind chimes.* Ooh...
Saffron: You like them? My mum makes and sells all these and she teaches me how to make them too!
*Scorn has already started buying some.*
(Lauren: That doesn't surprise me.)

*They go to the mayor's house and enter it. The mayor is a stout, portly man with a red face.*
(Lauren: *Imagines him literally being bright red.*)

*The others then try to tame their own Dragons, however, not quite as well as the first two groups did. Kitzie manages to gain her Dragon's trust and saddles it, but doesn't seem to want to let Tifanel get on. She is riding it around the stable, giggling as Tifanel chases it hopelessly. The others are even less successful, either due to their Dragons being much fiercer or lack of skill. Lierlo and Apathy's Dragon didn't let them get anywhere near it and is currently shooting flames at them. The two men have climbed on top of a haystack to avoid being attacked by theirs. Li and Scorn managed to get theirs to sit, but Li forgot the first rule and approached it from behind when trying to put the saddle on. This earned him another kick to the chest.*
(Lauren: *Laughs at their hopelessness.*)

Li: No way! *Is kicked again.* Ack... Sure, fine! Take them all! *Throws the ruby-coloured stones to her and she tosses him the Dragonmint. He feeds a little to the Dragon and it begins nuzzling him like a friendly kitten.*
(Lauren: I almost wrote 'like a friendly mitten.')

Man 1: The ceremony is tomorrow, so tonight you will be staying in Rahgale's top inn, courtesy of us!
(Anthony: I bet it's haunted.)
(Lauren: Lmao no, but things will go bump in the night. Slightly. You'll see.)

*Outside, they can just make out the stark stains of blood streaked along the ground. Disappearing off into the distance is a figure in a long coat, dragging someone.*
(Anthony: It's Sephiroth, dragging Jenova!)
(Lauren: Lmao, I was actually thinking 'no, it's not Seph.')

Laurenza: *Turns and looks at the sparkling trail they are leaving behind them.* Isn't that beautiful?
Red: Yes, I suppose it is.
(Lauren: Red: I'm too grumpy to acknowledge that it is pretty. *Kicks Thorn off his Dragon and watches him fall to his bloody death.*)
(Anthony: Lol yay!)
(Lauren: Lol mean. I'm so glad Lauren's-OOC-Red is not the real Red.)
(Anthony: Lol, me too… or am I?)

*It stands up, spreading its wings and roars, sending a blast of air through the room. It knocks them all against the wall and scatters the jewels, so they are pelted with them.*
Kitzie: *Is hit by several jewels on the head.* Ouchie...
(Anthony: Wait, how can we establish Thorn has no Lucifer powers if he's with Kuja?)
(Lauren: Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, you're right! Don't worry, I have a plan.)
(Anthony: Witches... Uh, I mean, which is?)
(Lauren: The Wyvern's gonna burst through the roof, make a big gust o' wind and blow the gang back outside and they'll fight out there.)
(Anthony: Goodo.)

Red: You're right. *She turns to Thorn, as he steadily starts to get up and brush the dust off him.* I'm sorry Thorn, it had to be done. *She turns back to the Wyvern and holds out a hand. It is flying around above them quite quickly though, and she finds it difficult to hit it with a spell.* Oh for god's sake... *Suddenly, she pulls out two shiny pistols from her belt and starts shooting at the Wyvern instead. She seems to be a much better shot with a gun than a spell.*
(Lauren: Press R1 repeatedly for trigger happy.)

Red: Before we battled Paige, Thorn asked me to return the power he lost when he fought his dark self, in Finn. And I did, but after we defeated Paige, I got rid of it. I didn't tell you, Thorn, in case you took it the wrong way.
Thorn: It's ok; it had to be done. Having Lucifer's power in me gave me a bad taste in my mouth...
(Lauren: Taste like the Devil!)

CHAPTER 110
Celaselle: *Laughs.* Oh, you've got to be kidding! I am not going out in this! *Shakes her staff towards the tent opening, hitting Thorn gently by accident.*
Thorn: ...If I didn't know better, I'd think someone up there doesn't like me.
(Lauren: *Cackles.*)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Anthony: Red: *Cackles.*)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Anthony: Tee hee.)
(Lauren: Because she's obviously a witch.)
(Anthony: Oh yes.)


Tifanel: Well, I've got my umbrella with me, if that will help.
(Anthony: Lol the frog one.)

Kitzie:
Water dance! Water dance! *Jumps up and down on the water's surface, making it splash out.*
(Lauren: *Has Lord of the Dance in her head.*)

Scorn: Well, at least it is not hailing.
*At that moment, a hailstone hits Red on the head.*
Red: *She touches her head.* Ok, that hurt...
(Lauren: Thorn: *Cackles.* Revenge!)

CHAPTER 112
*They head out on to the damp and muddy road, following the glimpse of a great city ahead of them. After walking in almost silence for a while, they catch sight of a group of other travellers before them. They are spattered with dirt and appear to be quite tired. Coming in the other direction are two people on horses who seem to be Hallowed Knights. They hail the travellers, offer them supplies and a ride on their horses up to the city.*
(Lauren: Because even in this day and age where there's cars and airships and whatnot, horses are still cool.)

Boy: Stop right there, evil villain! You are no match for me, the mighty warrior of the Sorcerer's Alliance!
Kitzie: *Runs into the alley.* Lahrney! *Skids to a halt in front of two children she does not recognise. They are playing some kind of trading card game.* Oops...
(Lauren: Any resemblance to a popular Japanese duelling monster game is purely coincidental.)

Kitzie: *Sits at a table. On top of the table, she looks at a strange, spinning orb with a piece of thread winding itself around it.* Oooh... *Holds her hand over it.*
(Lauren: It's not a yoyo!)

Thorn: Heh... Well, thanks for your time.
Librarian: That's ok.
(Lauren: Old guy is probably just happy for someone to listen to him.)
(Anthony: Yeah, like Maechen in FFX.)
(Lauren: Lol, oh I hate that guy.)

Tifanel: *Is leaning against one of the bookcases, his head drooped and snoring gently.*
(Lauren: Red: *Kicks him in the nadgers.*)
(Anthony: Lol, she'd prolly do that anyway.)
(Lauren: Lol, why not? it'd be comical.)
(Anthony: But a little evil.)
(Lauren: True, but someone's got to wake him up somehow.)
(Anthony: A cane should just come from off-screen and poke him.)
(Lauren: Lol no.)

Red: *Nudges Tifanel.*

Celaselle: I got you the special passes. Don't you love me? *Attaches them to the front of their clothes, almost stabbing them with the pins.*
(Anthony: Lol, it'd be funny if she pinned one on Thorn and he deflated.)

CHAPTER 113
*We last left our heroes exploring the St. Mangia temple. Kuja and Thorn wait outside as the others enter the temple and find themselves in what looks like a prayer hall. Practically everyone else in here is either praying, are a Hallowed Knight, or are both. Because of this, the gang look a little out of place. They spot Esther and Emilio on a pew, Esther apparently in deep prayer, so deep that she doesn't seem to notice Emilio discreetly playing a portable games console.*
(Anthony: PSP'd!)
(Lauren: Very possibly, lol.)

Lierlo: Yes... well, so we also heard a suggestion that jewels are the source of Mana. I personally don't think that theory holds much water, so I think it would be beneficial to search for the real source.
(Anthony: I could do with some real sauce.)
(Lauren: Lol, I wish you hadn't made that joke. That pun is going to be part of the next story, but you've seen it coming now. ^^;)

*They head off to a nice, affordable inn and turn in for the night. Everyone goes to their rooms and drifts off to sleep. Well, almost everyone. Lierlo and Apathy are in bed, holding each other close, and are kissing. Kuja, suffering from one of his occasional pangs of insomnia, happens to catch a glimpse of them through the slightly open door as he walks past. He stops and makes a disapproving noise.*
(Anthony: Like: 'faaaarr!')
(Lauren: Lol, if you like.)

Apathy: Yes, it is funny, as I recall you telling us it's useless to try and help her.
Lierlo: Our whole world is in danger. As much as I'd like to help Mihako, I think we can give her second priority to finding a way to save Dalimoor.
Apathy: And when did you ever care about Mihako, Kuja? You'd insult her to high heaven at every open opportunity.
(Lauren: Kuja's like 'stop ganging up on me!)

*Both Lierlo and Apathy look deeply offended by this and give him a punch each, though Apathy's is slightly harder.*
(Lauren: We should tally how many times Kuja's been hit by Lierlo.)
(Anthony: Lol yeah.)

Tifanel: *Quietly.* Wonder who the Pope is. My bet's on it being some crabby, ancient bloke.
(Anthony: My bets on a half-man, half-machine Demigod.)
(Lauren: Lmao, wtf?)

Kuja: *Slings his jacket over his arm and goes to the gang.* Now that mess is over, let's go.
Thorn: Sounds good to me. These people give me the creeps.
(Lauren: Thorn: Jibbly jibbly jibblies.)

CHAPTER 114
Tifanel: *Reads the poster, looking excited.* Oh cool, it's a fightin' competition. Listen to this: 'Think you're strong enough to take the challenge? Test your skills against the world's greatest fighters.'
(Lauren: That sounds like its from DBZ)
(Anthony: Lol, it does.)

Kitzie: Go for the jugular!
(Anthony: Lol, juggler.)
(Laurena: Lol, that's a very funny image.)

Lierlo: *Grips hold of his rapier rather tightly.* I'm a bit nervous.
(Anthony: *Buries his head in the sand.*)

Laurenza: *Sighs and takes a handful of Kitzie's popcorn.*
(Lauren: *And throws it at Kuja.*)
(Anthony: *Who beheads Laurenza.*)
(Anthony: *Who comes back from the grave and launches nuclear arsenal at Kuja.*)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Anthony: There, I'm done.)

Commentator: Hello and welcome to the 105th annual Vallenge Fierce Swords contest!
Zack: And what a beautiful day it is for it. I'm Zack.
Jack: And I'm Jack, and we'll be your commentators for today.
(Lauren: They don't win any prizes for imaginative names.)
(Anthony: Lol, no.)


Zack:
Our first category is the rapier, and no, I didn't just say anything rude. I'm talking about the thin, sharp sword, folks.
(Anthony: Lol, terrible joke.)
(Lauren: Definitely. I have developed an uncanny hatred for these two.)
(Anthony: Heh heh, me too.)

Zack: What's his name? 'The Deadly Viper!' Oh, is that a snake around his neck? Must be his mascot. Looks like he might be one slippery customer.
(Anthony: Smiley rules!)

Kitzie: Yay Lierlo! *Chants, waving her foam finger.* "Go Lierlo! Show 'em what you know! Stick in your rapier and make the blood flow!"
(Anthony: Lol, terrifying and cute.)
(Lauren: Lol, that's Kitzie.)

Kuja: If it carries on like this, it's going to be very boring. I might end up going to sleep after all.
Thorn: I have a feeling it'll liven up once more fighters get eliminated.
(Anthony: Way to speak, Thorn.)
(Lauren: Thornbot: ELIMINATE.)

Zack: Here we have 'Awesome Sword Man' versus 'Mr. Death.'
Jack: Great names, guys, great names. I don't much fancy Mr. Death's chances, that other guy is TALL.
(Anthony: And merciless.)

Tifanel: *Brings back his sword, then swings it forward in a sweeping arc like a baseball bat and knocks Mr. Death flying out of the ring and into the stands.*
(Anthony: Whoosh.)

*The matches continue in this vein for a while. Tifanel outshines everyone in the katana division, pulling off impressive moves all around, except perhaps Secret Weapon who seems just as good as him. Red is the top of her league, beating opponent after opponent. Lierlo, however, is merely average and is only winning his matches by pure luck.*
(Anthony: Oh dear.)
(Lauren: *Imagines Lierlo winning 'cos his opponent tripped over an undone shoelace.*)

Red: *Smiles, then raises her other gun and fires straight at his crotch.*
(Lauren: Ooooooh!)
(Anthony: Lol, I just imagined all the men in the audience going 'ooooof', and all the feminists in the audience going 'yay!')

Tifanel: Blade Wave! *A shockwave of energy blasts outwards from it and knocks Honourable Blade clean out of the ring.*
*The crowd gasps.*
HB: *Stands up and dusts himself off.* That was Magick! He should be disqualified!
*There is silence for a moment.*
(Anthony: Crowd Member: call the judges!)
(Anthony: Crowd Member: call the Pope!)
(Anthony: Crowd Member: call the Ghostbusters!)

CHAPTER 115
SW: *Looks utterly confused, almost scared, and pushes Tifanel away. He backs off from him and falls out of the ring.*
(Anthony: Hah hah.)
(Lauren: *Complete with a slide whistle sound.*)

Laurenza: Kuja, it wasn't a complete waste of time. Tif and Red won a lot of jewels.
Lierlo: And we all got some valuable battle experience.
(Anthony: It's not an RPG!)

CHAPTER 116
Tifanel: Li!
Laurenza: What's with the new clothes?
Kuja: Don't tell me you've joined up with the Hallowed Nuts?
(Lauren: That joke was just asking to be made.)

Esther: Anyone is open to being touched by Amyrian's light. Do not mock your friend's decision to join our noble cause!
(Lauren: She talks like she rehearses everything she's going to say in a day.)
(Anthony: Lol, she sure does.)

*The gang regain their bearings and open their eyes. They notice two things immediately that are different: firstly, Kitzie has disappeared. Secondly, they are all now about 8 years old. Little Tifanel is dressed in plain grey overalls, with the words 'EBWU TIFANEL 001' printed across the front in bold black lettering. Young Kuja has soft brown hair and is quite pale and sickly looking. He is wearing a black oriental-style shirt, a pair of shorts and white shoes. Young Lierlo has slightly longer hair, tied in a tiny ponytail at the back, and is dressed in Luneblanche robes. He still has Smiley around his neck. Little Laurenza is wearing very expensive and regal-looking clothes and a sulky expression. Little Thorn's hair is much shorter, it hangs just below his ears all around his head and looks darker and dirtier. His eyes are a vivid green and he is wearing a black vest and white jeans. Young Red has long blonde hair, blue eyes and a long white dress.*
(Lauren: Aww, don'tcha just want to eat them up?)
(Anthony: No, I'm not a cannibal.)
(Lauren: …Good point!)

Lierlo: If I'm not mistaken, it looks like we've all been turned into kids... somehow.
(Lauren: Even when he was 8 years old, Lierlo was rather well spoken. I bet he got beat up at school for being middle class.)
(Anthony: Yeah. *Smacks his fist into his palm.*)

Laurenza: It had to be that stupid Lyrian's revenge. He should be executed for this!
Red: Don't be so angry. Being angry doesn't solve anything. *She smiles.*
(Anthony: *The audience shudders*)
(Lauren: Why do they shudder?)
(Anthony: 'Cos she's being nice.)
(Lauren: Lol, I see. Was she a nice lil' girl then?)
(Anthony: Yeah, before her father died and before Roseanne died and before she went to Hell.)
(Lauren: Naw, nice contrast to Laurenza, supreme Princess bitch.)

Celaselle: Sure, I'll see what I can do. But I'm always helping you guys out and sometimes it's dangerous to my health. *Waggles her staff at them, which appears to be stuck back together with duct tape.* I haven't forgotten about what you did to my... uh... staff. Maybe if you gave me a little sweetener, even a potentially dangerous job will seem appealing...
(Lauren: Duct tape= awesome.)

*Red is silently paying attention to the teacher.*
(Lauren: Swot. :P)

Mrs. White: *Write down their names.* Ok, that's you all registered now. For those of you that don't know, I'm Mrs. White. *Taps the board again and chalk writing of her name appears on it.*
(Lauren: It occurred to me that its a bit pointless having a blackboard in the 31st century, so I brought it up to date. ^^;)
(Anthony: Cool.)

Lierlo: *Quietly.* Oh dear, looks like Laurenza's in trouble.
Red: Well... It does serve her right...
(Lauren: Teacher's pet doesn't fancy Renza anymore. :P)

Mrs. White: Ok kids, pens down. It's time for break.
Red: *Sighs and places her pen down.*
(Lauren: Lol, Red's like 'must work!')

*Whilst they play, Thorn and Red watch theirs and the other children's games, and notice that every so often a child is taken inside by a teacher for seemingly no reason.*
Red: That's not fair! Those children get to go back inside...
(Lauren: That girl is positively obsessed!)

*They go back inside and sit down.*
(Lauren: Red: *Has an orgasm.*)

Lierlo: Ok. Let's choose... this one! *Opens a random door and goes in.*
(Anthony: *…And finds a Demyx clone orgy.*)
(Lauren: Lmfao, wtf?)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Have you been looking into my dreams?)
(Anthony: Lol, yes.)

Man: *Watches the energy fade away for a moment, looking thoughtful.* There is another way... *Takes the sword from her and plunges it into his own chest. Blood pours out as he falls on to her body.*
(Lauren: Mm, senseless gore.)

CHAPTER 117
Kitzie: *Looks up at him.* Daddy, I think I... *Stops suddenly.* What was that?
Faunus: What is the matter?
Kitzie: I heard something. *Wakes up suddenly, as she is disturbed by light footsteps outside the tent.*
(Lauren: It's the Avon lady.)

**Flasback time.**
(Lauren: Lol, if it were an anime, it'd have the wavy white and the diddly doop diddly doop sound.)
(Anthony: Lol yeah.)
(Lauren: Wow, this next message is so long it wont fit in one box.)
(Anthony: Omg.)
(Lauren: I'll split it over two.)

*We see a montage of events with Li and Tifanel from several years ago. Tifanel is in his late teens and Li is in his early teens. It starts off with Li struggling to climb a tree in the castle grounds, to reach a football stuck on the top branch. Tifanel picks him up and throws him up into the tree, where Li grabs the ball. The branch breaks and Li falls. We then see them a little later, with Li with a large plaster on his leg. He and Tifanel are sticking plasters on each other's faces and laughing. The next flashback involves Li and Tifanel behind Castle Medra, and Li is having a discreet smoke. The two of them see King Rendemal coming, so Tifanel grabs the cigarette and looks for somewhere to hide it. Feeling uninspired, he shoves it in his mouth. After the King leaves, Tifanel spits it
(Anthony: at the King)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Anthony: Lol.)

out and gasps. Li cracks up laughing. The final flashback shows them in a 'Lost and Found' office. They are filling out a lost item announcement.*

Thorn: Something creepy?
(Anthony: We can add a new Thorn typo to the list: 'Yhorn.'
(Lauren: Lol, that is a new one.)

*The town smells strongly of fish.*
(Lauren: Smell inspired by Grimsby.)

*They start heading off down the pier towards the fishing boats, but stop as Roreille appears in front of them.*
(Anthony: Roreille: You must save us Thorn, you are the empire's last hope! *Flutters eyelashes.*)
(Lauren: Lmao, not quite.)
(Anthony: Oh.)
(Lauren: Disappointed?)
(Anthony: No, no... Just... carry on!)

Laurenza: *Nods.* If that's all, we'll be going now.
Roreille: Yes, do not let me keep you. I shall see you soon.
(Lauren: Roreille: Send my undying love to Thorn.)
(Anthony: Red: Will do.)

Lierlo: Goodbye Roreille.
(Anthony: That rhymes!)
(Lauren: Wow, so it does!)

CHAPTER 118
Kuja: Fortune telling is a load of balderdash.
(Lauren: I had to use that word because it's hilarious.)
(Anthony: Yes. Yes it is.)

Lierlo: Sorry ladies, but we're both spoken for. *Takes Apathy's hand and he stands up. They embrace and then walk back over to the other table, as the two girls pass each other slightly bewildered looks.*
(Lauren: Girl: Incest?)

CHAPTER 119
Tifanel: You wanna come with us to look at the real ships, Mina?
Chiara: If she's seen the models, she doesn't have to come see the real ones!
(Lauren: Chiara's got a bad case of the green eyed monsters.)

Kuja: *Quietly.* Glare at her any more, Chiara, and you'll burn a hole right through her head.
(Anthony: Chiara: What do you think I've been trying to do?)
(Lauren: Lol. *Spongebob voice.* Woah-ho, Chiara, I didn't know you had heat vision!)

Lierlo: *Takes out his ticket and then looks at his watch.* There's about half an hour before we have to be on the boat. If you make it a quick fight...
(Lauren: *Wonders vaguely if it's a wrist or pocket watch.*)
(Anthony: I don't think its all that important.)
(Lauren: Aw, spoil my fun. :P)

Tifanel: *Hits the sand pretty hard.* Whoa... you're really strong for a girl!
(Anthony: *Feminists rise from the ocean and swarm towards Tifanel.*
(Lauren: Lol, no, it'll be Red. He made a similar sexist comment about her before, remember?)
(Anthony: Yeah.)

Tifanel: Yeah well, I ain't ever been on a water-goin' ship before. I don't know all the nautical terms or anythin'.
(Anthony: Thorn: *Donned in a ship's captain hat.* Anchors aweigh!)

Laurenza: Red, have you ever been on a sailing ship like this before?
Red: Yeah, once.
Laurenza: Did you enjoy it?
Red: Ares and Scorn were with me; let's leave it at that.
(Lauren: Lol, at that point, they were crime-fighting pirates.)
(Anthony: Lol, yup!)

Laurenza: *Smiles and kisses her.*
(Anthony: *Smoochylesbiansmooch.*)

Esther: What seems to be the problem, madam?
Woman: Some vile person has murdered my prized parakeet!
(Anthony: Thorn: Other alliterations would have included: beloved budgie, creepy canary, or patriotic puffin!)

CHAPTER 120
*Esther gives Kuja another jab. He is just about to fall off, when he is blasted back on to the ship by a soft ball flying into him. He collides with Esther and knocks her over.*
Chiara: Wow, saved by the ball!
(Anthony: *Audience simultaneously commits suicide.*)
(Lauren: Lol, apologies for the pun.)
(Anthony: Heh, I don't mind.)

Daimonion: *Turns back to the girl.* As I was saying before the mean lady interrupted, what's the matter?
Girl: Puppy... fell in the water and the sea washed it away... *Sobs a little.* I loved my puppy so much! I wish he was back... I'd give anything for him to be ok...
Daimonion: *His eyes light up.* Anything?
(Lauren: *Dragnet music.*)

CHAPTER 121
Li: I wouldn't get too attached to Tif, babe. He can't deliver. Did he tell you he can never have kids?
Tifanel: Li...
Li: I doubt he can even get it up.
Tifanel: *Looks really angry.* Shut up, Li! Just go fall off somethin' and DIE, will ya?!
Li: Oooh... someone's got his knickers in a twist. *Laughs and walks out again.*
(Lauren: I want to punch Li. Hard.)
(Anthony: Well, you could do it through one of your characters...)
(Anthony: Kitzie: You die now! *She punches Li in the stomach.*)
(Anthony: Laurenza: I never wanted you as a brother! *She machine guns Li.*)
(Anthony: Mihako: You, then the world! *She nukes Li.*)

Daimonion: *Smiles.* Are we done playing my little mind games, then?
Red: Exactly. Playtime is definitely over.
(Lauren: Shadow: Play time is ovverrrrrrr! CHAOS CONTROL!)

Red: I guess I'll have to beat you with the only water spell I have...
(Lauren: Hang on, does she have any ice spells?)
(Anthony: Yup, should she use that instead?)
(Lauren: Please. Pretend she said ice, 'cos Djinn fire is like totally weak against ice but can resist water.)
(Anthony: Oh, okies.)
(Anthony: Red: Blah blah only ICE spell yada yada yoda.)

CHAPTER 122
*The gang explain to Natica the problem with the Mana shortage on Dalimoor and the recent appearance of Palamoor. They also tell her of Celaselle and her advice to come to Palamoor to find something to help solve the problem, and that they think what they are looking for may be a source of Mana. They finish by telling her they came to Ottersgate to find out what the Great Barrier was protecting on this planet, as it might be just what they're looking for.*
Natica: Well, that's very interesting.
(Lauren: Natica: Not! *Vanishes in a puff of smoke.*)

Roreille: That is correct, Apathy. I suppose that now the secret is out, there is no need to keep all the details from you anymore. Chiara, perhaps you could make some of that hot chocolate for everyone and we will sit down and discuss this.
(Anthony: Lol, I love hot chocolate.)
(Lauren: Good, then Chiara will make you some too.)

Sheridan: *Sniffles.* Can I have the blue plaster with the planes on?
(Anthony: Aww.)
(Lauren: Everyone wants that plaster.)
(Anthony: I know I do!)

Tifanel: *Sits at the table and takes a gulp of the water.* I've been having these weird dreams lately...
(Lauren: ...Like is any of this for real, or what?)

CHAPTER 123
Lierlo: Poor egg, you're giving it quite the beating.
Kuja: Egg... beating... *Groans.* That was terrible, Lierlo.
(Lauren: Kuja: *Shoots him.* I HATE PUNS!)

Kuja: Oh great. You've probably just funded a new tank for those mad Goddess' f followers to go Demon hunting in.
Chiara: Stop it!
(Anthony: Gasp! No one stands up to Kuja and lives!)

Chiara: I really... need to go...
Kuja: *Sigh.* Why didn't you go before we left?
Chiara: Sorry... I won't be long! *Runs off to some public toilets.*
(Lauren: Red, Laurenza, Kitzie and Natica mysteriously all decide they need to go too.)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: In fact…)

Tifanel: *Looks over to the other girls.* I'm surprised you girls ain't goin' with her.

Kitzie: Li-Li will be happy his grave is all pretty.
Lierlo: *Pats Kitzie on the head.* Of course.
(Lauren: I bet she's friggin' fed up of people doing that. 'STOP PATRONISING ME!')

Chiara: I don't know who half those people are, but surely it wasn't your fault. You can't keep thinking that, or the guilt will crush you like a giant foot!
(Anthony: Lol, exactly like a giant foot.)
(Lauren: *Hums Monty Python theme.*)

CHAPTER 124
Esther: Hmph.
(Anthony: Red: HMPH!)
(Anthony: *They continue to have a cataclysmic hmphing contest.*)

Esther: Your lack of enthusiasm disappoints me.
(Anthony: Lol. Esther: I find your lack of faith disturbing...)

Galesse: *Has remained quite calm, despite the situation.* I always feared something like this would happen. A preacher of love and tolerance will never be able to exist in a society that has racism so deeply ingrained into it. Especially when its specific hatred and hunting of Demons coincides so neatly with making big money on the black market by the trade of such things.
(Lauren: Lauren's thinly veiled stab at organised religion.)

Galesse: *Notices this.* I'm sorry you had to see the dark side of our religion, all of you.
Laurenza: *Shakes her head.* Every group of people has its share of bad eggs.
(Anthony: And we beat those bad eggs!)
(Lauren: Audience: *Groan.*)

*Tifanel shepherds them inside the house, but is abruptly brought back to reality by the sound of his mobile ringing in his pocket.*
(Lauren: I bet he has an annoying ring tone.)
(Anthony: Like the Birdie Song.)
(Lauren: Lmao, yes.)

CHAPTER 125
Tifanel: *Draw his sword and swipes hard at a leg.* Haaa! *His sword connects, and does little more than making a loud clanging noise and vibrating so much Tifanel becomes dizzy.*
(Lauren: Stupid idea of the year #23.)

*The beams effectively tie the Ringmaster's legs together, but before they can topple him over he pulls sharply on two of the levers, bringing the legs apart and snappeing the beams.*
(Anthony: Snappeing? That's almost Snape! My unconscious mind is telling me something…)

Laurenza: So, um, Ares... What are you going to do now?
Thorn: She can come with us for a while, at least until she finds her feet…
(Anthony: Ares: There they are! *She finds her feet and leaves.*)

Kuja: *Looks around, mildly impressed.*
(Anthony: And it's hard to impress Kuja.)
(Lauren: *Nod.*)
(Anthony: Thorn: I know this only too well...)
(Lauren: Lol, aw.)

Ares: I see.#
(Anthony: HASH!)
(Lauren: BROWNS!)
(Anthony: YUM!)

Apathy: But let's go destroy this cave. Better to be safe than sorry.
(Lauren: Apathy, representing the part in all of us that says 'LETS BLOW STUFF UP!111')
(Anthony: Hurrah!)

Kuja: I would, but I'm quite inclined to be uncivil towards her. Maybe I don't have these super human forgiveness powers that everyone else seems to have.
Laurenza: Maybe you ought to develop some. Think about everything we've all done in the past. If we couldn't forgive each other, none of us would still be friends… and you wouldn't have Thorn.
Kuja: *Goes rather quiet.*
(Anthony: Lol, that makes a change.)
(Lauren: It does.)

*Meanwhile, on the beach, Tifanel is duelling with Mina. Chiara is on coastline, fishing and trying to ignore them. Tifanel pushes Mina over and pins her down, making the two of them laugh. Chiara grips her rod a little harder and the line is charged with some kind of purple energy that travels into the water. Several fish float to the surface.*
(Lauren: Fish killer.)
(Anthony: Yeah, the witch.)

Lierlo: That spell...
Apathy: The dark horses... Malaphaera?
(Lauren: Either that, or its Falos gone evil.)
(Anthony: Lol, yup.)

Kuja: That sounds like an appealing idea.
(Anthony: Lol, I thought he said 'appalling' for a second.)

Mina: Heeeeey! You're leaving already?
Chiara: Yep, so sorry. *Gets out a handkerchief and waves it at her.* Bye bye now, bye bye.
(Lauren: Mina: *Punt!*)

Esther: Now for phase two...
(Anthony: *The scene changes to Esther and Everett playing an organ menacingly.*)

*One of them begins prodding at one of Red's pistols.*
Red: You... don't want to mess around with that, trust me.
(Lauren: *Boom! Splat.*)

Tifanel: Chiara, can I ask ya somethin'?
Chiara: Fire away!
(Anthony: Cannons: *Fire.*)

Thorn: Vinchente! *He fires the holing spell at Tifanel.*
*Tifanel is frozen stiff as a board.*
(Lauren: I'm sure Thorn has enough manly Dark Angel strength to carry him back to the village.)

CHAPTER 127
Lierlo: *Quietly.* These people seem very intent on having us for tea. This won't take too long, I don't think; so let's just humour them for a few minutes. It can't hurt.
(Lauren: 'These people seem very intent on having us for tea.' Lol that sounds like they're going to eat them)
(Anthony: Lol, it does.)

CHAPTER 128
Red: That was quick.
Kuja: That's not a good sign. We'll probably end up several hundred feet underground or something.
Tifanel: Not everyone's location spells are as bad as yours, Kuja.
(Anthony: Scoff!)
(Lauren: What, Kuja eats Tifanel as a retort? Lol.)
(Anthony: Tee hee, aye.)


Tifanel: Oh, here they are. *Picks them up.* Ah, a screw's come loose. Here, lemme fix 'em. *Starts repairing them with a handy screwdriver.*
(Lauren: What would they do without Tif's handy tools?)
(Anthony: Wither and die.)

Chiara: Daddy! *Launches herself at him and hugs him tightly.*
Rin: *Is almost bowled over.* Careful now, angel, you're making me spill my drink!
(Anthony: Ahh, happy days.)
(Lauren: Lol, not the Happy Days, I hope.)

Rin: *Approaches Roreille.* Roreille D'lor, is it possible you've become even more radiant than the last time I saw you?
Roreille: ...I see you are still the same, Rinford. I suggest you flirt with someone who is remotely interested in you.
(Anthony: After all, we all know who she's interested in...)
(Lauren: *Close up of Thorn, romantic music swells…*)

Tifanel: Yeah... but hang on a sec. How did Rin know what Li looked like?
Rin: Aha, now I can't give away the tricks of my trade. *Winks.*
(Anthony: That's sinister.)
(Lauren: Lol, yeah, like Ann Robinson.)

Ares: Hmm... That's strange. Thorn, do you remember where my ManusBlade went?
Thorn: Umm... no.
(Lauren: Lol, lies!)

Laurenza: Ready, Chiara?
Chiara: Always ready, sis. *Starts whipping Li.*
Laurenza: *Whilst Chiara is doing this, she casts a spell on Li.* Bright Ankh! *A large ankh symbol appears and strikes Li.*
(Lauren: If this was a video game, the combo gage would be going up, lol. It'd be like combo +1 2 3 4 5... etc.)
(Anthony: Lol, aye.)

Li: Yeah, ok. I admit I did some nasty stuff, but after this has all blown over, you guys can forgive me, right? You've forgiven Ares, for cryin' out loud. I thought she was supposed to be some big bad!
(Anthony: Lol. *Imagines Ares as a giant fat woman.*)

Rin: Keep your hands off my daughter.
Red: They were just hugging...
Rin: And hugging will soon turn to kissing and then there will be the wedding... And before you know it, Chiara will be asking me for money to buy a house on the coast for them and little Tifanel junior.
(Anthony: Time for an awkward silence.)
*There is an awkward silence.*

CHAPTER 129
Tifanel: This seems a little too good to be true. What's the catch?
Woman: No catch. You'd be doing us a favour if you agree to this. We'll even pay you generously.
(Anthony: Laurenza's eyes go dollar-symbolly)
(Lauren: Lol, cha-ching!)

*Kuja is now dressed as a clown. His face is painted with bright makeup and he has a huge rainbow wig on. He is dressed in baggy dungarees and ridiculously huge shoes. He is also wearing a large scowl.*
Producer: You look great. The children have arrived; so let's get started.
(Anthony: Kuja: *Cackles and starts feasting upon the children's souls.*)

*Laurenza and Ares change into the skimpiest bikinis you could ever imagine. They are also in a wrestling ring filled with mud.*
(Anthony: And I can imagine some pretty skimpy bikinis!)

Laurenza: Well, if that's all the story for now, I think I'll go and try and get the rest of this mud out of my hair and then turn in.
Tifanel: Ok, g'night Laurenza.
Laurenza: Coming, Red?
(Lauren: Red: Not yet, but I will be if you let me shower with you.)

CHAPTER 130
*They walk together out of the room and Shaya takes a peek in at the others sleeping.*
(Lauren: Of course, Red is sucking her thumb and Thorn has a security blanket, lol.)

Thorn: You!
(Lauren: I wanna take you to a gay bar!)

*The two of them glare at the gang for a moment.*
Esther: Hmph!
*They run off.*
(Anthony: Lol, Shadow fan,)
(Lauren: Lol, in that case, it should've been…)
(Lauren: Esther: Damn!)
(Anthony: Lol, yup.)

CHAPTER 131
Chiara: *With wide eyes full of pride.* My daddy is so cool! One day, I'll be able to talk about all the adventures I've had like this.
Ares: Let's hope you'll have someone to listen...
(Lauren: That's kinda morbid.)
(Lauren: Ares: Everyone's gonna die zomg lol!)

Apathy: Yes. Remember St. Mangia temple? 'This spot marks the fall of a power beyond power, a source of all. It entered our world from the heavens and created the holy lake our blessed city is based around.' This suggests that not everything Celaselle said was a work of fiction. There still might be a power out there. We just have to find it without Celaselle sending us barking up the wrong trees.
(Lauren: Apathy has one heck of a photographic memory.)

Lierlo: That was no ordinary earthquake. It appears to be resonating all throughout the realm.
Laurenza: Weird. Well... it's ok as long as no one was hurt, right?
(Lauren: Laurenza says that a lot. Something inexplicable happens. 'Oh well, no one was hurt.' Move on.)

CHAPTER 132
Laurenza: Oh, this is terrible! *Looks panicky.*
(Anthony: Laurenza: *Explodes.*)

Kuja: *Knocks on the rocks above them.* It looks like we're good and stuck... It would be stupid to try and blow up the cave to escape because we'd probably kill ourselves in the process.
(Anthony: They could just teleport out.)
(Lauren: Good point. Quick! Think of a way around it!)

Apathy: Why... why don't we just teleport out? *Tries to and nothing happens.* The Mana shortage is... more noticeable now... Telekinetic Magick isn't working...
(Lauren: I think that covers all bases. *Grins.*)
(Anthony: Lol, yup.)

Chiara: Tifanel... I never got to... I don't want to die without you knowing... *Turns to Tifanel and kisses him.*
(Lauren: Audience: God! Finally!)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Anthony: God: Finally!)

Rin: Yes, let's just be thankful we're all not dead.
Ares: Of course. *He pauses and looks around.* I sure wish I knew what saved us, though...
(Lauren: Lol, Ares had a sex change.)
(Anthony: Agh! ^She!)

Chiara: Yeah, um, Tif... we should talk about what happened back there...
Tifanel: *His anger subsides and he smiles at Chiara.* Hey, don't worry about it. Desperate situations make people do desperate things, huh?
Chiara: Yeah... Sure...
(Anthony: Hah hah, she's destined to be alone.)

CHAPTER 133
Thorn: *Withdraws the blade and punches her instead.*
(Lauren: I thought KANG! would be an appropriate Batman-esque sound effect for that event.)
(Anthony: Lol yeah.)

Thorn: Well, she's gone, and that's all that matters... Except, what do we do about Palamoor?
Laurenza: I don't know... let's go look at the damage, shall we?
(Lauren: Because God-like life forms can breathe in space. Because I said so.)
(Anthony: Lol, ok.)

Laurenza: Don't be ridiculous. You've been a great friend and a real help along the way. You're welcome to come and stay with us at the castle.
(Anthony: Ares: I can be as ridiculous as I like! BWARK!)
(Lauren: Lmao.)

*They board The Destiny and head back to Dalimoor.*
(Lauren: but wait, there's more!)
(Anthony: Lol. A secret ending movie.)
(Lauren: Lol yes! ...No, just more cut scenes.)

TOP

......

CHAPTER 136
*The gang are gathered as usual for dinner. They have been treated to something that can only be described as a fish slop by Chiara. She caught, cleaned and cooked the fish herself, though it seems she only managed a good job of the first two activities. Unwilling to hurt her feelings, the gang are doing their best to eat it. Kitzie seems to be the only one genuinely enjoying it.*
(Lauren: *Has a lot of fun coming up with what they eat.*)

Chiara: Oh Kuja, you've cleared your plate! Have some more. *Ladles another large dollop on to his plate.*
(Anthony: Hah hah, he can't win.)

Tifanel: Yeah, just a lil' trip.
Thorn: Anywhere nice?
Tifanel: Ahh, nothin' that'd interest you guys.
Kitzie: The zoo?
(Lauren: Reference to Chapter 30 for the win!)

Rin: I agree wholeheartedly. Family is of the utmost importance.
Ares: Hmm...
(Lauren: *Is curious about Ares' 'hmm…')
(Anthony: Hee hee.)
(Lauren: Is that a 'I'ma not telling!' giggle?)
(Anthony: You bet!)

Chiara: I caught this today, you... poop!
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Thems fightin' words!)

Ana: *Slams two cars together.*
Chiara: Boom! Wow, what destruction!
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Careful, she'll be at the world next!)

Chiara: *Gives him a hard stare.* Oh, you big dolt! Of course there's another reason. Don't you get it? I want to come because I want to be with you! *Takes a deep breath.* I love you, you crazy fool!
(Anthony: There is a long silence, only broken by Thorn's shower singing.)
(Lauren: Lmao. I was going to write about there being silence, you nut!)
(Anthony: Tee hee.)

*There is a few moments of silence. Tifanel and Chiara just look at each other, their expressions impossible to fathom.*

Tifanel: Yeah, it's just… I'm me and you… you're a pretty young girl. I didn't think you'd want me like that.
(Lauren: Tif wins the Captain Obvious prize with the statement 'I'm me.')
(Anthony: Lol aye.)

Tifanel: Well, don't you reckon I'm too old for you?
Chiara: No... *Seems a bit worried.* Do... you?
Tifanel: Well… just a bit. When I was your age, you weren't even born.
(Lauren: Scary thought lol.)
(Anthony: Oh well, look at Thorn and Kuja.)
(Lauren: I know. Me and Kay have a rule about underage love that goes something like this: if there is more than 100 years between you and your lover, it's perfectly okay no matter how young the youngest is. ^^; )
(Anthony: Lol.)

Lahrne: Um... *Looks around anxiously, as if Thorn is going to jump out any moment and tell him not to.* Sure, I'll give it a try!
(Anthony: Lol. *Imagines a Thorn cuckoo clock.* 'Don't dooo it!')
(Lauren: Lol wow, I want one!)
(Anthony: Me too!)

Chiara: Squee! Thank you! Hit me with your time rays, baby!
(Anthony: Lol, now I've got me a new status message.)
(Lauren: Use it! Use it!)

Lahrne: Ohh... hope dad won't be mad with me...
Thorn: *Steps through the door.* Mad about what?
(Lauren: The latest dance craze, the Time Rays?)
(Anthony: Lol.)

Thorn: *Is silent for a while, but soon shakes his head.* It's okay. We'll sort it out.
(Lauren: Thorn: Must... suppress... rage…)
(Anthony: Lmao.)

Kitzie: Oh no, Lahrney might get in trouble!
Thorn: It's okay Kitzie. I won't let them do anything to Lahrne.
(Anthony: Like you didn't let Chronos take him away?)
(Anthony: Zing.)
(Lauren: Lol ouch.)
(Anthony: *Wishes someone could say that.*)
(Lauren: Red should. Kuja would, but he loves teh Thorn, and Red hates Thorn.)
(Anthony: Lol it's true. But Red isn't that evil.)
(Lauren: Shall I make Apathy say it, then?)
(Anthony: Yeah okay.)

Apathy: Oh, in the same way that you didn't let Chronos take him away?

Chiara: *Grins at Tifanel.* You're a hunky man. Will you pre-chew my food for me?
(Anthony: *Violently projectile vomits a little.*)
(Lauren: *Catches it in a bucket.*)

CHAPTER 137
Tifanel: Chi, what are ya doin' here? Shouldn't you be restin' in bed or something? *Spots the cane.* Is that Rin's?
(Lauren: *Imagines Rin limping around without it.*)

Chiara: *Looks huffy.* You should respect your elders, Nelly!
Tifanel: ...Nelly?
(Anthony: Tee hee.)
(Lauren: "Nelly the elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus...")
(Anthony: Nelly: Fuck you, circus!)
(Lauren: Lol. 'I'll make my OWN circus! With blackjack, and hookers!')


Chiara: Hey look, I bet we could squish one of these houses with The Destiny! Ooh, ooh, can we try it?
(Anthony: The woman's vicious!)

Felicity: Tifanel? *Recognises him at last. She cries out and hugs him tightly* Oh, Tifanel! Is it really you? You've grown so much, dear!
(Lauren: Don't you hate it when people say that after meeting again after a long time? I mean, what do they expect? For you to look exactly the same after a decade and a half?)

Tifanel: Uh, she's uh… the grandmother of a friend. I brought her to Earth… 'cos she needs some… um… medicine from here. *Grins not entirely convincingly.*
(Lauren: Chiara: Ointment!)

Felicity: You don't know the half of it. Riley… Riley went to prison.
(Lauren: Dun dun DUN!)
(Anthony: Lol and gosh!)
(Lauren: Golly!)

Tifanel: Well, I took the job as Royal Guardian that Riley found me, and I've been there ever since. Life's never dull there. Lemme tell ya a couple of things that've happened…
(Lauren: *Cue clips episode.*)

*Meanwhile, back at the castle, Lahrne pokes his head around Kitzie's bedroom door. He's holding something behind his back.*
(Lauren: It's a RAY GUN!)

Kitzie: But I do like you, Lahrney.
(Anthony: Lahrne: Then toss me off, woman!)
(Lauren: Lmao. He's EIGHT.)
(Anthony: Yes…)

Chiara: Really? I thought you'd hit me with your smacky stick... or at least yell at me a little!
(Lauren: I want a smacky stick.)
(Anthony: Lol, I still have mine* from the prom.)
(Lauren: *Jealous.* Lol.)
(Anthony: Tee hee.)


*See the smacky stick here!

CHAPTER 138
Red:
Pirates?
(Lauren: Yar har har!)

Ferryman: *Turns back to them.* So, got business in Miledgia or is it a pleasure trip?
(Lauren: 'Pleasure trip' sounds so unintentionally erotic.)

Laurenza: Don't worry about us. I don't think we've got anything worth the pirates stealing anyway.
(Lauren: Says Laurenza modestly, adjusting her priceless Rendemal family emblem-emblazoned tiara, before fastening her cloak with her jewelled brooch.)

Laurenza: Well... *Smiles in an embarrassed way.* ...I've never actually sailed one myself before, but I saw my father doing it...
Red: *Considers this for a moment* ..Well, it can't be that hard. I'm sure we'll manage.
(Kay: Red: Don't follow what he did, he's a MAN! He doesn't know anything!)
(Lauren: Lol, oh yes, I forgot that detail. Red = raging lesbinazi. ¬_¬)
(Kay: Lol we all knew that…)

Red: Unfortunately, I think I agree..! *She grabs hold of Laurenza and jumps off the ship*
(Lauren: *SPLASH!*)
(Kay: Lol I was thinking that.)

Laurenza: *Quietly.* I thought the days of piracy were long gone, but I guess if people like us still insist on using sailing ships, there's the opportunity to mug us. I wonder what they're like... Peg legs? Eyepatches?
Red: *In hushed tones* I should imagine they all have scurvy.
(Lauren: That's really funny for some reason.)
(Kay: Lol thankies. now picture her saying it in a really matter-of-fact kind of way.)

Amber: Red... and Laurenza? I remember you guys! You came to Velaz for the Imperial Ball, right? Made off with a really nice trinket too.
(Lauren: If this were a TV show, we'd stick in a few clips from that episode here.)
(Kay: With Eye of the Tiger in the background. Good montage music, that.)
(Lauren: Lmao yes!)

Red: HI.
(Kay: Oops no, she didn't yell that…)
(Lauren: Or she's a robot.)

Amber: Good job, girls. Maybe you should consider joining my crew full time?
(Kay: Red: NO.)
(Lauren: Laurenza: *Knocks her head off with her shovel.*)

*Two long cannon-like weapons extend from the front of the ship and fire powerful lasers at the cave. The flotsam is blasted into tiny pieces.*
Red: *Looks taken aback* Good grief.
(Kay: Kuja: Bah. The Destiny's Death Ray is much better.)

Man: I should beat you again for your insolence! *Takes his belt off and slaps it against his palm threateningly.*
(Lauren: Insolence is such a great word. INSOLENCE!)
(Kay: Eek! *Hides in a groudy old cupboard.*)

Red: Well, no. I mean, I understand why he's like that, but it doesn't change how I feel. And I feel angry.
(Kay: Red: GRR ARGH.)

CHAPTER 139
Laurenza: Let's give it our best shot then. Oops, pun...
Red: Good job Kuja isn't here..
(Lauren: Kuja: *Cocks shotgun.*)
(Kay: Red: See?)

*The cannons extend and shoot two super-charged streams of water at the fire. The fire is quickly doused.*
Red: Hey, it worked...!
(Kay: Amber: Yeah, don't sound so surprised...)

CHAPTER 140
Tifanel: Nah, nah, that came out wrong! I didn't mean it like that! No offence, Chi, you're really nice and all, but I really need a guy to be friends with. A guy would've found that story hilarious, I'm sure.
(Kayru: Red: Sexist! Feminist powers, activate! *Karate kicks Tif.*)

Tifanel:*Sighs, allowing himself to be pulled along.* I want a friend, not a date!
(Kayru: *Makes inappropriate comments about various Crack!Shippings involving Tif and the other men.*)

Tifanel: A 'safe' distance? We're not gonna like... blow up bombs or nothin'... I thought we could just have a couple of beers.
(Lauren: Thorn's all like 'Yeah, that's great, invite ME to drink who's immune to the effects of alcohol 'cosI'maDarkAngel!')

Tifanel: I think you'd look good in one of them big, tall ones with the... plaity bits and the curls... *Hiccups loudly.* Yeah, just like that... a big old w-w-wig. Don't ya think?
(Kayru: Thorn: Holy crap no.)
(Lauren: Lol yes, I was hoping he would disagree, but he's too nice to say it like that.)
Thorn: Well... personally, not really.

Thorn: Relationships always have ups and downs. It's just how it goes, Tifanel. *Puts a hand on Tifanel's shoulder in a friendly way.*
(Kayru: In a totally het, non-homo, 'just being his friend' way.)
(Lauren: I'm sure, ducky. *Zips up handbag.*)
(Kayru: Quack!)

Thorn: Chiara, Tif probably had that left over in his pocket from before he got with you.
(Kayru: Thorn: 'Cos he doesn't change his clothes much.)

Kuja: So... read any good books lately?
Tifanel: Uh, no...
(Kayru: Thorn: Tif can read?)

CHAPTER 141
Kuja: Something called a Trinstilon Crystal. We'll be able to find some in the Wrae Mountains on Yochi, with a bit of luck. I think my father must have discovered them at the same time as researching the Etheraals, seeing as though he built The Destiny around then. I'll go there after breakfast.
(Kayru: I misread the name of the crystal as 'Trinstilton.'

Thorn: *Touches his face gently and kisses him.* Apology accepted. Oh, if I'm coming too, I ought to get some things together.
(Kayru: Thorn: Like clean undies.)
(Lauren: Thorn: They've got bunnies on them! ^__^)
(Kayru: Lol no, they'd have the days of the week of them.)
(Lauren: Aww!)

Kuja: She just thinks she is. I'm very glad The Fate actually still works. I was afraid it wouldn't start ever since Mihako took her permanent nap.
Thorn: We're lucky it does.
(Kayru: Thorn: How else could we get to get the stuff for The Destiny?
(Lauren: Kuja: quiet, monkey, Renza is using this time to explain some mechanics of the two airships.)
(Kayru: Thorn: Ook?)

Thorn: I don't think so. You're not defined by who your parents were and what they did. Unless you'd like to be a doctor, in which case I won't stop you.
(Kayru: *Tries to picture Kuja as a doctor. Doesn't quite manage it.*)
(Lauren: Kuja: *Walks up to a patient's bed and looks at their chart.* My god, you're going to die. *Walks out.*)
(Kayru: Lmao, exactly!)

Heather: Oh Vi, haven't you figured it out yet? Kuja and Thorn were woken by the cat at the same time because they slept together. They're... you know... *Giggles.*
Violet: Ohhh...
(Heather: They're... RAGING HOMOSEXUALS!)

CHAPTER 142

Alexander:
Oh no, that's okay. I just don't want your hands touching me in awkward places, boy.
Thorn: Don't worry, they won't.
(Kay: Thorn: What do you think I am, gay or somethi-- Oh, wait.)

Alexander: *Sits on the sofa and touches a dark patch on the material.* This sofa is still stained, I see. Young Kujata spilt blackcurrant juice on it and we never got it clean. Heather had kittens about it, but it didn't bother me. It was a hideous sofa to begin with.
Thorn: *Laughs a little.*
(Kay: He's probably picturing heather actually having kittens.)

Thorn: Don't worry, I'm sure there'll be lots of other places away from the lake to sit.
Violet: *Butts in.* Of course there is, darling. We'll climb the hill and watch the sun set. It's simply a glorious view from up there.
(Lauren: Kuja: *Attacks her with a submachine gun.*)
(Kay: Thorn: *Cheers him on.*)

Violet: Maybe you boys can sneak a kiss whilst your father's not looking.
(Kay: Thorn: Mind your own business! *Punches her and she flies off into the sun.*)

Heather: I wouldn't trade him for the world.
(Lauren: Heather: But I'd trade him for two worlds!)

Thorn: No way! *Draws his ManusBlade and defends himself with it.*
(Kay: *Cut to scene of thorn holding it over his crotch.* Thorn: Gotta protect the vitals!)
(Lauren: Rofl.)
(Kay: Where the hell does Thorn keep that thing? Pocket?)
(Lauren: I assumed it's strapped to his back.)
(Kay: You'd probably notice if it was in his pocket. Kuja would be like 'Is that a ManusBlade in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?' And Thorn's like 'It's a ManusBlade. ^_^')

Alexander: *Is struck by the spell and screeches horribly. He crumples beneath Thorn, twitching and whimpering. It seemed to really hurt him.*
(Lauren: Mortal Kombat Voice: FINISH HIM!)

*Just before the blade strikes Alexander, Kuja suddenly for some reason jumps in its path, making him take the brunt of the blow instead.*
Thorn: *Looks shocked.* Kuja!
Kuja: Ugh... Thorn...
Thorn: Oh god, are you okay?
(Kay: Thorn: Are you NUTS?)

Alexander: I will not speak their name. They have been dormant for a while, but they're now making their move. All must beware.
(Lauren: Thorn: Voldemort?)

CHAPTER 143
Kuja: *Takes the letter from Laurenza and scans it.* Hmm... they mention the Pope and those coordinates are pretty close, relatively speaking, so I'm sure they're asking us to come to Palamoor. I don't know, the last time someone told us to go to Palamoor, it didn't end well. This could be trap.
Thorn: Yes... but it also could be legitimate...
(Kay: Red: Kuja... You think EVERYTHING is a trap...)
(Lauren: Lol, I was thinking along similar lines. 'Oh, good ol' Kuja, professional sceptic, always the first to doubt something.' That and I had a funny image of him literally scanning the letter. Like with a barcode scanner from a shop.)

Thorn: These creatures... what are they?
(Kay: Kuja: Quick, where's Lierlo when you need him?)

Ryo: Hmph... *Steps out towards them. He is dressed the same as the others. He has longish and straight hair, which is dark brown in colour. He is also wearing a green bandana and dark glasses are covering his eyes, even though they're indoors. The gang feel there is something familiar about him, but they cant quite place what it is.* Fine. I guess we could do with all the help we can get.
(Kay: Thorn: That's the spirit! *Punches him in the arm.*)
(Lauren: Lol, random.)
(Kay: In a jovial way. ^_^)
(Lauren: Sorry, I couldn't help imagining Thorn punching him and knocking him flying out a nearby window, 'cos of his manly DA strength.)
(Kay: Lmao wow.)

CHAPTER 144
Red:
Oh, can't you just go away?
(Kay: Red: And maybe die?)

*One of the Hallowed Knights that is still in action clobbers the distracted Tifanel around the head.*
(Lauren: KANG!)

Thorn: *Holds his hand out towards the Hallowed Knights.* Centé! *He cats the fire spell at them, scorching them.*
(Kay: Uh… 'CASTS'... not 'cats'...)
(Lauren: Lol awww. *Imagines Thorn throwing cats at them.*)
(Kay: Not cats on fire, I hope.)
(Lauren: O_o Me too!)

Ryo: *Is just fast enough to block Tifanel with his own sword, umistakably Li's custom broadsword, Loretta.*
(Kay: Loretttttaaaaa!)
(Lauren: Lol what?)
(Kay: I don't know, it just kinda sounds like a name that would be GREAT to yell.)

Red: He might listen to you... After all, he's most loyal to you.
(Kay: I typed 'most lovely to you' first time.)
(Lauren: Lol, Renza x tif?)
(Kay: I'd ship for that!)

Tifanel: *Sneers.* Yeah, sure. I You're just usin' Niko and Vanda, like you used the Hallowed Knights for your own means… I bet you're hopin' Vanda will think you're some kinda hero and put out!
(Kay: Thorn: Put out what? No one's on fire.)
(Lauren: Kuja: *Kick.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Ouch.)

Tifanel: *Stands over Ryo.* Say goodnight, old pal...! *Drives his sword downwards into Ryo's chest. However, instead of piercing his flesh, the sword clanks against him hard and the tip is bent out of shape.* What the...?!
(Kay: Ryo's a robot?)

Thorn: *Shakes head.* Hypocrites. C'mon, let's deal with this guy.
(Kay: Thorn: *Picks up Ruther and dumps him in a cesspit.*)

Ruther: Oof...! Agh! Fiaran, with frozen wings, harden my defences! *His spears build an ice wall around him, which Rin continues to assault with his bottle.*
(Kay: Kitzie: Go for the throat!)

CHAPTER 145
Thorn: Are you sure that's a good idea? Don't forget, they are Demons, after all.
Kuja: What's that supposed to mean?
(Kay: Thorn: *Puts foot in it.*)

Lierlo: Heh... *Veers the conversation into less dangerous waters by drawing attention to the Encyclopaedia Demonica.* These are Manjimau, right? It says here they're quite peaceful and harmless. Perhaps we could just set them free in Loliusin Hollow?
Red: Yes, because it's such a good idea to release non-native species into an ecosystem.
Lierlo: Ahh, well...
Chiara: Well, does anyone have a better idea?
(Kay: Kuja: Let's kill and eat them.)
(Lauren: Lol, well they do have widdle wings...)

Thorn: I'm sure there's a phone book around here somewhere. *He goes off to find it.*
(Kay: Thorn: *At the dining table.* Here it is! *Takes it off Kuja's chair.*)

Ruther: I'll show those heretics the cost of wronging I, Ruther Philan! May Amyrian's light guide my blades!
(Lauren: *Throws another bad guy into the mix*)
(Kay: Thorn: And now it's time to add that 500 grams of sugar and the two pints of milk. Stir well to avoid lumps. I like to use the electric whisk at this point...)

(Lauren: Lol Thorn can't cook. remember Chef Challenge?)
(Kay: Lol I never said he was doing it well!)

*As the boy leaves, the horse transforms into a carousel ride, leaving the two farmers completely baffled.*
(Kay: Falos: Nooooooooo, not my horse! my love, come back to me!)
(Lauren: Lierlo: I feel your pain.)

Rin: Already you can hear the ominous clank of the ball and chain. My girl has a good grip on Tifanel.
Thorn: Is that a good thing or a bad thing...?
Rin: *Slightly enigmatically.* That's for you to decide.
Thorn: Ahh, I see.
(Lauren: Thorn: Rin, you can be effing weird.)
(Lauren: Rin: *Pokes dead stuff.*)
(Kay: Lol awww. Imagine that with them all cute chibi style.)
(Lauren: Lol I did.)

Red: Well... Tif obviously just doesn't understand fishing. It's supposed to be a whole lot of sitting, doing nothing and waiting. That's the point.
(Kay: *Imagines Red, Scorn, Thorn and Ares on a fishing trip. Thorn's fallen asleep and the girls are bored (except Scorn, 'cos she's watching the clouds) so Red and Ares tip Thorn overboard.*)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Kay: I can just picture that happening.)
(Lauren: Me too!)

Thorn: Women never, ever say what they're really thinking. They're like an Rubik's cube- you get one layer solved, but you flip it over and the rest of it is still a muddle and you have to rearrange everything to try and solve it.
(Kay: Thorn: That, and they're colourful! ^_^)

Thorn: Maybe you two should make up, Tif... It's not nice to see you not getting on.
(Kay: Thorn: Maybe you could teach Chi to use a sword too. No, wait... that's too scary an idea.)

Kuja: You're not one for spontaneously bursting into song, are you?
Thorn: Not usually.
(Kay: *Imagines Thorn bursting into song at inappropriate moments, such as at breakfast, in a battle or during sex.*)

CHAPTER 146
Boy:
The Alloni Carnival on Palamoor... Could you take me home?
(Lauren: Feh, I know Sock Kid's carnival was on Dalimoor in AS, but alternate reality, yadda yadda shut up.)
(Kay: I didn't say anything! I wasn't going to question it! Wahhh! *Hides in a box.*)
(Lauren: Lol I know, I wasn't being mean to you. I just wanted to say that.)
(Kay: Lol, I know and I just wanted to hide in the box. It's spacious! ^_^)

*The scene fades to white and then we see inside the bar again. Rin is pouring drinks for the customers, but his attention is mainly focused on a young woman standing before him. She is a quite beautiful and dominant figure, with wavy, raven hair and sky blue eyes. She leans on the bar top and speaks in a gentle voice.*
Woman: You're going to have to tell Shiloh you have to knock off early tonight. You've got a very important engagement you can't afford to miss… *Strokes Rin's chin with a finger.*
Rin: You, my dear Winny, are a very bad influence. Don't you have some important business of your own to attend to?
Winny: *Waves a hand vaguely.* Oh, that can wait. You know you want to, Rinny.
(Kay: *Waves at Windsong.*)
(Lauren: Yup, it sure is. Winny and Rinny, they were quite a pair.)
(Kay: That's terribly cute.)
(Lauren: I thought 'Winny' would be a better nickname than... 'Windy.')
(Kay: Lmao yes. Too many people like Kay would find that funny.)

Boy: Yeah, they've been dead for a long time... *His eyes darken.* ...And so have I...
Thorn: Wait, what?
(Lauren: *^Homestar voice.*)
(Kay: Ares and Thorn: YAY SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S DEAD! LETS START A CLUB! WHEEE!)
(Lauren: Kuja: Can I join?)
(Kay: Thorn: Sure!)
(Kay: Li: Me too?)
(Kay: Everyone: NO!)
(Lauren: Li: Fuck you! *Crushes them with his heavy stone weight.*)
(Kay: Everyone: OH NO OUR SPINES!!!)
(Lauren: Lol, mad.)

Lahrne: Hey, look! A clue! *He picks up a small piece of paper from near one of the bodies. It has been neatly folded.*
(Kay: Red: Ooh, nicely spotted, Scooby Doo.)


CHAPTER 147
Kuja:
Oh, all right. I'm reading a book, but I'll only show you what it is if you promise not to laugh.
(Kay: Thorn: Is it the Karma Sutra? 'Cos I already read that.)
(Lauren: Lol no.)
(Kay: Red: It won't be a cookbook, now will it?)
(Lauren: Heheh, no.)

Thorn: Of course. If it's something you want to do, something you'd feel better for doing and something you're capable of, the least you can do is try, right? And I think you'd be good at it. I mean, you're intelligent, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch mentally.
(Kay: Thorn: We just have to work on your bedside manner.)

Kuja: Heh heh, you're right. So sometime in the future, I'll go to medical school and then you'll have to call me Dr Greyfare. *Grins.*
(Kay: Thorn: Well, I can think of a good time when we can practice that.)
(Lauren: Lol, kinky boy!)

Daimonion: Pretty much. Cooking, cleaning the toilet… You could even use me as your own personal punch bag and there's nothing I can do about it because of this infernal bracelet! *Shows them a small, metal device clipped round his upper arm.*
(Kay: Thorn: Don't tell Red she could beat you senseless, she might.)

Red: Apathy, I like how you think.
(Lauren: Apathy: Let's make out.)
(Kay: Red: 'kay.)
(Lauren: Lolo & Renz: T_T)
(Kay: Lol aww.)

Daimonion: A diabolical contraption made by humans. It seals my Magick to a degree and accentuates my Djinn instincts, so I get a nasty pain every time I do something naughty.
(Kay: Thorn: *Looks like he feels sorry for Dai.*)
(Lauren: Aww he'd feel sorry for a brick.)
(Kay: He would!)

Chiara: *Looks a bit foolish.* Oh yeah... But best friends should have sleepovers together, like in the same room! You can stay in my room tonight and we'll do girly things!
Ares: Um, okay.
(Lauren: Ares: I never get a choice in things when it comes to Chiara! T_T)

Thorn: Let's get him upstairs, quick.
(Kay: And so the world's strongest man takes Rin upstairs.)
(Lauren: Lol no way, the world's second strongest man will get a chance to shine.)
(Lauren: Tif: *Waves.*)
(Kay: Lol okay. ^_^)

Kuja: Yes, then I'll try and make a diagnosis.
Tifanel: Sure. *Lifts Rin up.* ...Wait, since when was Kuja a doctor?

Chiara: Shush up, Kuja. Tif's my boyfriend and Ares is my best friend, so of course they'll come to help my daddy.
Ares: I don't mind. I probably would've gone anyway.
(Lauren: Tif: There's a Jim Terano marathon on today, but I don't like to argue with Chi in case she inherited Rin's smacky smacky habits! T_T)
(Kay: Thorn: That and she might insult your penis size. Again.)
(Lauren: Awww!)

CHAPTER 148
Tifanel: *Looks up at the sign.* 'The Pope's Legs?' Well... yeah, she probably does have pretty nice ones under that big dress...
Chiara: *Looks scandalised.* Tif!
(Lauren: You can just imagine it in the Amyri'ite Scriptures... 'Thou shalt not speculate on the Pope's nice legs'.)
(Kay: *Laughs.* It's probably in there, that's the worrying part!)
(Lauren: Lol yes.)

Shiloh: Where in the sam hill have y'been? Ya disappear without a trace, y'don't tell me where you're goin', y'don't write, y'don't call! I've been worried ill 'bout ya! Years, Rin, it's been years! Well, it's sure nice y'finally came back to see me, but it's only 'cos y'needed somethin'!
Ares: Oh... I see.
(Lauren: Rin: Whoopsiedoodle, I knew I forgot something when I went into hiding! ^_^)
(Kay: Lol oops.)

Ares: Hi, I'm Ares.
(Kay: Ares: You can call me Ares.)

Ares: Bus... boat?
Shiloh: Exactly what it sounds like. It's a public transport kinda thing, but a boat.
Ares: Oh, I see. New one to me.
Shiloh: Don't they have 'em on your planet?
(Lauren: Lol I cant imagine the Dalin locals liking the idea. 'WHAT IS THIS DIABOLICAL SPLICING OF LAND AND WATER DEVICES? IT BE THE DEVIL'S OFFSPRING!)
(Kay: Lmao, that's one for the raws!)

Tifanel: Well... they might in the big cities, I dunno, but our local village is a bit... backward.
(Lauren: Kuja: Bit like you then, Tif, haw haw haw.)
(Kay: Mean!)

Tifanel: He also collects dead things in a shoebox under his bed...
Ares: But why?
(Kay: Ares: Dead things are gross. I should know. I am one! ^_^)
(Lauren: Lol yes.)

Tifanel: It's the great minds thing again, ain't it?
Chiara: If you say so... *Sticks her tongue out.*
Tifanel: Hey!
(Lauren: Tif: Not only does she think I have a tiny penis, she thinks I have a tiny brain too! T_T)
(Kay: Kuja: No, Tif, its the truth.)
(Lauren: Tif: Waaaah! *Destroys world.*)
(Kay: Kuja: Curses, that's my thing!)
(Lauren: Aw.)

Ariella: And it's nice to meet you, Chiara's friends. You're here to get new glasses for Rin, aren't you?
Ares: How did you know?
(Kay: Ariella: Rin squinting is a BIG giveaway.)

Tifanel: Looks kinda precarious to walk through.
Rin: We need to go in.
(Lauren: Kuja: Wow, 'precarious', that's a long word for you to use, Tif.)
(Kay: Red: He must've heard it on the TV.)
(Lauren: Lol, aww.)

Shiloh: I'm glad. I've sure missed ya, Rin.
Rin: And I you. *Hugs him.*
(Lauren: Audience: Naw.)
(Kay: Awwwww.)
(Lauren: Shi: But y'still could've called! *Hits him with a Gryphon.*)

*They reach the mountain peak and Chiara lands, setting Ares down. They are stood before a monstrous nest filled with glinting treasure and other pretty artefacts. Among the trinkets are several squawking Gryphon chicks. The mother Gryphon and Tifanel are also there, the Gryphon yanking hard at Tifanel's sword, trying to wrench it from his hands.*
Chiara: Tif!
(Kay: Ares: Oooh, shiny.)
(Lauren: Lol aww. Gryphons are supposed to be guardians of treasure, so... ^_^)
(Kay: I didn't know that. I thought they just chomped stuff up.)
(Lauren: Lol that too! :D)

*Tifanel manages to get his sword totally out of the Gryphon's grasp. It consequently becomes quite angry and rears back, roaring like a lion.*
Tifanel: I don't think it really matters right now!
(Kay: Ares: Stab it, Tif!)
(Lauren: Kitzie: Go for the jugular! Stab! Maim! Disembowel! I'm not seeing any blood!)


CHAPTER 149
Laurenza: *Seems a little confused.* But Kuja, I thought your father was...
Kuja: *Nonchalantly.* Dead? Oh, as a doornail, yes. This isn't my real father.
(Lauren: Kuja, ever the one to speak with delicacy.)

Thorn: But its nice to have someone be a replacement, right?
(Kay: Lahrne: ANYONE would be better than you, Thorn.)

Triironhn: Let's go then.
(Kay: ^Thorn. Uh, that's perhaps the best Thorn name typos yet.)
(Lauren: Lmao that's one for the books.)

Ares: What kind of stuff have you been doing?
(Kay: Heather: Oh you know, the usual - kinky sex, wine tasting, sky diving…)
(Lauren: Lol I was thinking something naughty too.)

Trohn: Let's go check out that tree, then.
(Kay: ^Thorn.)
(Lauren: Poor Thorn needs to have a less easy to typo name, lol.)
(Kay: He does, though the one from earlier easily takes the biscuit.)

Red: Wait a minute. I'm not sure I want to take directions off a disembodied voice.
Thorn: God, that's true. We all know what happened last time one of those appeared.
(Kay: Lierlo: I SAID I WAS SORRY!)

Trhon: *Nods.* Sure will
(Kay: ^Thorn.)
(Lauren: Thorn: T_T)
(Kay: Sorry Thorn!)
(Laurenza: Between of the three of us, his name is the most frequently mistyped.)

*They step outside Cain and start sizing him up. Kuja and Alexander (now conscious) approach them, as Cain brings his head outside.*
Alexander: Your Highness!
Kuja: *Looks confused.* Um, what?
(Kay: Thorn: Their King is a naffing big tree, Kuja.)
(Lauren: Kuja: Oh. Keh.)

Chiara: I dunno, Tif always seems to carry loads of tools with him. He might have a couple of spades too.
(Kay: Kitzie: I'll help! *Is the spade for them.*)
(Lauren: Lol awww!)

Kuja: Oh, don't encourage him. He'll never shut up now.
Ares: How many legs? What kind of ears has it got? Does it have a tail?
(Kay: Ares: *Overloads Rin with questions.*)
(Rin: *Explodes.*)

Laurenza: Oh no, I don't think that window will hold out against them forever. We need to protect ourselves somehow.
Ares: What with?
Tifanel: Some kinda Magick might help.
(Lauren: Psst hey Thorn. Your Exudo spell might work a treat here.)
(Kay: Thorn: Go away. Sleeping.)

Kuja: Only one way to find out. *Starts charging a spell.* Burning rage rooted in the fiery depths of my soul...
Cain: *Shoves him with a tendril.* You are not lighting a fire inside me!
(Kay: Thorn: He's a grass type, stupid, he's weak to fire!)
(Lauren: Kuja: I knew I shouldn't have bought you Pokémon for Christmas!)
(Kay: Thorn: But it's so fun! T_T)
(Lauren: Aww.)
(Kay: The worst thing is I can totally see Thorn playing Pokeymons, too.)
(Lauren: Aww that's cute.)

Tifanel: It's so weird in here. Kinda like a labyrinth and not very tree-like...
(Kay: Red: More like a TARDIS.)

Red: Oh, and here was me thinking they were related to Larzel.
(Kay: You can cut that line if you want, I don't think red even met Larxel.)
(Kay: ...Who is now a member of Organisation XIII…)
(Lauren: Lol yes. She didn't, so I could reassign the dialogue to Thorn if you like.)
(Kay: It works!)

Kuja: Heheh, so don't anyone sneeze.
Ares: Or at least not on those things.
(Kay: Rin: Ah phooey, I've seen scarier things in a toilet. Why, once there was this one time, I saw a terrifying Googleplex in the unisex toilet at a rest stop on Globulon seven…)
(Kay: Renza: And this is why I don't let you write Rin's lines.)
(Lauren: Rofl.)

CHAPTER 150
Kuja: For crying out loud! Just how are we supposed to kill them? They aren't afraid of anything we can throw at them because they can just use it against us!
(Kay: Thorn: We could eat them. That might work.)
(Lauren: Kuja: I told you to make a sandwich BEFORE we left.)
(Kay: Thorn: But I wasn't hungry then!)
(Lauren: Aww diddums.)

Lierlo: *Looks like he's had a brilliant idea.* That's it! That's how we can beat them...!
(Kay: Thorn: Eat them?)

Apathy: You're not seeing what he's trying to say. The Ethaw bat's only desire is to exist. They dislike the empty Void of nothingness they live in and scour it for any matter to make them more real. They are afraid of being nothing!
(Kay: Thorn: Explain it with an analogy. Use Mars bars.)
(Lauren: Lol whut?)
(Kay: My maths teacher used to explain fractions to me using the analogy of cutting up Mars bars. ^_^;)
(Lauren: I see…)
(Kay: This... was in primary school.)

Lierlo: Are you familiar with a spell called a Fear Shadow?
(Kay: Thorn: Lol whut?)
(Lauren: Lierlo: Mars bars.)
(Kay: Thorn: Yum.)
(Lauren: Kuja: Again with the 'I told you to eat before you came out'!)
(Kay: Thorn: Sorry mummy.)

Apathy: It is a spell that shows the victim the thing they are most afraid of.
(Kay: Chi: SCAAAAAAAARY! *Clings to Tif. Tif gets hit by Rin.*)

*They sit back inside Cain and he begins the spell. Alexander wraps his tendrils protectively around Kuja. The whole area is plunged into complete darkness, so much so they cannot even see their hands in front of their faces. Gradually, they begin to see Chiara singled out in front of them.*
(Kay: Thorn: HEY HE'S MINE HANDS OFF YOU!)
(Lauren: Alexander: ...I'm his father, you buffoon. ...Sort of.)

Kuja: I don't care. I can't stand watching Thorn be tormented like this... and I'm also not too comfortable with seeing my own dead body. *He rushes to Thorn and holds him close.* Thorn, it's okay...
(Kay: Thorn: WTF I THORT YOU WAS DEAD.)

*A scene begins to appear before him, but it is one of total destruction. Houses are ruined, trees are burning and people are slaughtered.*
Kuja: What the...?
(Kay: Kuja: Lol oops was that me?)

Mihako: Why did you hate me? Why did you seal me away? I am practically dead and yet you still do not care!
Lierlo: I'm sorry...
(Kay: Kuja: Don't feel too bad. I hate you too. ^_^)
(Lauren: Lol awwww, not true!)

Mihako: You have done nothing to find a way to bring me back. Nothing!
Lierlo: I'm so sorry...! *Breaks down crying.*
Ares: Poor Lierlo.
(Kay: Mihako: You mean 'poor Mihako!')
(Lauren: Ares: Nah.)
(Kay: Lol.)
(Lauren: Don't forget you have Thorn, the world's strongest man. And uhh, long time friend of Lierlo. He might have some encouraging words.)
(Kay: Ooh yes, like 'throw a brick at her!' and 'don't forget the awesome sex you had with Apathy! I could hear you, it must've been good!')
(Lauren: Lmao, maybe not those words.)

Red: I reckon so. Even so, that's a damn big snake.
(Kay: Tif: I always wanted to hear Red say that to me.)
(Lauren: Chi: *Angry face.*)
(Kay: Bwahaha.)

Ares: If it is, I kind of don't want to think about it. All the poor people that might've been on it...
Red: Don't feel too bad. Those people have probably been dead for a while.
(Lauren: Oh Red, you're so wonderfully heartless! ^_^)
(Kay: Red: why thank you ^_^)

*Alexander, Kuja and Tifanel go to examine The Destiny's engines whilst the others go back inside.*
(Kay: Thorn: I'd be enjoying the journey more if we'd packed a lunch...)
(Lauren: Kuja: ...)
(Kay: Thorn: What? WHAT?)
(Kuja: *Sighs and hands him a Yorkie.)
(Kay: Thorn: Ooh, manly *SNARF!*)

Chiara: *Goes to Cain.* Hey Mr. Treeman, are you okay? You don't look so good.
Cain: *Has lost a lot of leaves and is wounded in many places because of the bats. He is also breathing very heavily.* I'm hurt and I'm tired... I'm desperate for food and water...
Ares: What do you eat?
(Kay: Cain: PEOPLES!)
(Lauren: Cain: *Snarfs Ares*)
(Kay: Everyone: Hooray...?)

Ares: You can't eat Rin!
(Kay: Rin: I wish you would, my dear.)
(Lauren: Lol oh yes.)

Laurenza: Now what are those?
Lierlo: Judging by the fact Cain is trying to eat Rin...
Apathy: ...I'd say they're his enzymes...
(Kay: Ares: I don't want to save Rin bad enough to go near them.)
(Lauren: Rin: T_T)
(Kay: Ares: What? You'd only say 'the lady does love me!' if I did.)
(Lauren: Lol, it's true.)

Red: Let's try not to think about eating, shall we?
(Kay: Thorn: I'm trying!)
(Lauren: Kuja: You just had a Yorkie.)
(Kay: Thorn: Shhh, Kay's trying to make a running joke.)

Thorn: Do you think they need a hand?
(Kay: Thorn: From the strongest man in the world?)

*The ship latches onto the other side of the debris with claw-like pincers. A hatch opens and a small group of people look out. Each are dressed wildly differently, with clothes from varying times and cultures, but are unified by the same gas mask-like device they are all wearing.*
(Kay: Most travellers approach and ask for directions. These guys'll come over and ask if you're their mummy.)
(Lauren: Roflmao. Gas mask-like. Not actual gas masks!)
(Kay: I know, I just couldn't resist making that comment.)

Kuja: *Steps outside.* Excuse me, are you by any chance trying to cannibalise my ship?
(Lauren: Stranger: Yum yum.)
(Kay: Sometimes I think you can read my mind. I was thinking something like that.)

Young Man: At one point we might have said that, yeah, but a better description would be that we live here.
(Kay: Thorn: But what do you eat? And when you go to the toilet, where does it go?)
(Lauren: Lol aww.)
(Kay: Woman: What do we eat? Well, put it this way. There used to be fifteen of us.)
(Lauren: Lol no.)

Older Man: Well, like the young man suggested, we started out being stuck here. We each fell out of time on way or another and ended up here. We banded together to try and find a means of escape, but in the end we just decided to stay here.
(Lauren: Thorn: Lol he called me a 'young man.')
(Kay: Thorn: I'm probably much older than him.)

CHAPTER 150
Ares: Maybe we should go shopping.
(Kay: Red: maybe your MUM should go shopping.)
Lauren: Lol, real mature, Red, real mature.)
(Kay: Renza: Real mature, Kay, real mature.)
(Lauren: Lol awww.)

Tifanel: What? *Looks a bit annoyed.* Why is this sorta thing always my responsibility? What ever happened to the chores rota we were supposed to have?
(Lauren: Thorn: *Burps.*)
(Kay: Lmao aww.)
(Lauren: The freezer is empty, so he got hungry and ate the rota, lol.)
(Kay: Lol, it works.)
(Kay: Thorn: It wasn't very good. Too much mayo.)

Tifanel: *Isn't pacified by that.* Nah, ya know what I think it was? It's 'cos you guys were all couples. 'Oh Tif, he's a single loser, so he ain't got nothin' better to do than cook and clean for us.'
Laurenza: No Tif, that wasn't it...
(Kay: Red: What, you mean you don't LIKE doing those things? Well bugger me!)
(Lauren: Laurenza: Sure! *Straps it on.*)

Lahrne: Heh heh yeah, Dai's our bitch-slave!
Kitzie: *Gasps.* Lahrney said a bad word!
(Kay: Red: Awesome. Let's celebrate.)
(Lauren: No, Thorn should wash out his son's potty mouth with soap and water!)

Chiara: Um... I could try reading the cards. They might reveal some stuff about the future... in easier to understand words than the prophecy.
Lierlo: And I suppose Apathy and I could commune with the spirits of forest and flame. They might have foreseen something.
(Kay: Thorn: I'll try scrying in some custard or something.)

Daimonion: I've been in your dreams. I've seen what haunts your unwaking moments. What is it you're hiding behind those amber frames of yours?
Rin: You can… spy on my dreams?
(Kay: Dai: Mayyyybe…)
(Lauren: Dai: And what I see is DIRTY!)

Kuja: The prophecy is written in verse. I'm fairly certain it's not meant to be taken literally.
Thorn: True, true.
(Lauren: Kuja: It's not meant to be taken orally either.)
(Kay: Thorn: *Spits out screwed up paper.* But I'm hungry! Dai's taking AGES bringing the dinner!)

Tifanel: Don't worry, Rin, you can have some of my food. *Shares his dinner with Rin.*
(Lauren: Aw, like a good best friend should.)
(Kay: Naww and because he doesn't want any more of Rin's smacky wrath.)
(Lauren: Lol Rin would smack Tif 'cos Dai didn't bring him food?)
(Kay: No, but it might prevent Rin's smacky wrath in the future!)

Jadarthfeyr: *Sighs.* I am sorry to interrupt you at a mealtime, Lierlo, but I am afraid I have some bad news...
(Lauren: …You're in space!)
(Kay: Lmao.)
(Kay: Lierlo: Me in space? But that unpossible!)

Jadarthfeyr: I am afraid it is your sister, Lierlo. She has been... attacked.
(Kay: Thorn: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)

Thorn: Hi, Roreille.
(Lauren: Roreille: Thorn, you came! *Passionate sex.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Yes, Yes I did.)
(Kay: Kuja: 'Twas the passionate sexing that did it.)

Roreille: Oh hello, Lierlo and friends. I am glad you came.
(Lauren: Roreille always, always, always refers to the gang as the collective 'Lierloandfriends.')

Red: Rin, please, this is hardly the time or place.
(Kay: Red: It's NEVER the time or place, you leech!)
(Lauren: Rin: Slurp slurp?)

Chiara: Lolo, just remember to be careful. It wouldn't be fun if you got attacked too!
Roreille: *Smiles knowingly.* I do not think he has to worry about that.
Red: Exactly.
Chiara: Why? Why? Does he have amazing kung fu skills or something?
(Lauren: Lierlo: Oh yes. I'm a 4th dan in karate. *Chops Chi.*)

Roreille: Yes. I know it seems extreme, but it was the only way to get Lierlo into the council. He is truly the best person for the job, but the Elders would just not accept that. *Looks down.* I suppose I did not help matters by getting them to agree in the first place, then changing my mind…
(Kay: Thorn: You crazy woman! But I still love you! ^_^)
(Lauren: Roreille: And I you, Thorn *has his babies.*)
(Kay: Kuja: *Jealous.*

Thorn: You're popular today, Roreille.
(Kay: Roreille: If I'd've known I'd get this much attention, I'd've attacked myself sooner!)

Nathaniel: What is this? I knew Siun D'lor quite well... *Firmly.* And I knew he had only one son.
Kuja: Well, it seems you knew wrong.
Red: Looks that way.
(Kay: Red: Did you know him well enough to know of his gay affairs?)
(Lauren: Nat: Oh, there was not a soul on the council that didn't know about them.)
(Kay: Mostly 'cos they were involved, I should imagine.)
(Lauren: Lol yes!)

Tifanel: What're they feudin' about?
Red: It's probably something ridiculous, like who did or didn't clean the toilet.
(Lauren: *Everyone looks at Tif for some reason.*)

Kuja: Nathaniel and Siun... Kindred spirits, eh? Oh, excuse the pun.
Red: That was bad, Kuja.
(Lauren: Kuja: *Kills himself.*)
(Kay: Red: Aye, you should be pun-ished.)

Laurenza: *Nods.* Oh well, if they both refuse to corroborate their stories, I guess we won't ever know the truth. *Is quiet for a moment.* I wonder how Lierlo and Apathy are getting on.
Red: I hope they're doing okay.
(Kay: *Cut to scene of Apathy and Lierlo running down a darkened corridor, firing lasers at a huge slime monster that's chasing them.*)
(Lauren: Lmao. Slime monster = Nat?)
(Kay: Sure, why not?)

*A few days pass without event. Lierlo and Apathy spent nearly all of their time in the Spirit World, managing the Spirit affairs. He visits from time to time, keeping everyone updated. It seems Nathaniel is still suspicious of Apathy. We rejoin the action one day with Thorn, Kuja, Laurenza, Red and Tifanel playing a game of Trivial Pursuit together.*
(Lauren: The board games return!)
(Kay: Huzzah!)

Tifanel: I hate this game. I never know any of the answers.
(Kay: Kuja: Oh, surprise.)

CHAPTER 151
*The castle door opens and Mihako strolls in. Her face is completely devoid of any emotion.*
Rin: Arrrgh! It's the ghost or possibly zombie!
(Kay: Thorn: Oh noes, Mihako!)
(Kay: Red: I'm not even going to ASK why you were in the crypt…)
(Lauren: Mihako: Lol hai guyz.)
(Lauren: Rin: I lost my glasses...)
(Red: Lolz, sure…)

Red: Oh, I bet Lierlo will be happy to see her.
(Kay: Red: You know. like... NOT.)
Laurenza: I think we should call him right away.
(Lauren: Laurenza: I hope he's not too busy pulling a late nighter.)
(Lauren: *Cut to a scene of Lolo, Jad and Nat playing Trivial Pursuit.*)

*They contact Lierlo and he comes to the castle immediately. They all study Mihako, who is very quiet and looks oddly vacant.*
(Kay: Red: *Pokes Mihako*)
(Lauren: *Fall. Smash.*)

Thorn: It's hard to tell. *Waves his hand in front of Mihako's face.*
(Kay: *She bites his hand off.*)

Red: Don't stay up too late. Sleep is good for you.
(Kay: Red: Mihako's probably had enough to be the healthiest person in the castle.)

*The two of them head to Lierlo's room, where Kitzie was sleeping that night. They find Mihako stood outside her door, holding a vase.*
(Kay: Thorn: Let's just lock her in the cupboard under the stairs for the night, that'll sort her out)
(Kay: Kuja: What do you think she is, Harry Potter?)

Kuja: Thorn, I think it would be best if we put a sleep spell on Mihako for the rest of the night. Would you do the honours?
(Kay: Thorn: And what if I said no?)
(Lauren: Kuja: I would be forced to kill you.)
(Kay: Thorn: Can we have hot sex and THEN you kill me?)
(Lauren: Kuja: Mmmkay.)
(Kay: Thorn: SWEET!)

*The gang gradually disperse, going off to do various things. Kuja takes Mihako with him. Rin settles down in the chair and dozes off after a while.*
(Lauren: Tif: *Comes back in and slips Rin's hand into a glass of warm water.*)
(Kay: Lol, oh that's cruel.)

*Rin is woken by the sound of the gang back in the TV chamber again. They are watching some documentary. He yawns and adjusts his glasses. After a moment or so, Nathaniel Bancroft appears in the room.*
Thorn: Oh, hello again.
Laurenza: Mr. Bancroft? What are you doing here?
(Lauren: Rin: Well, I sort of live here.)
(Lauren: Laurenza: Not you, you ninny.)

Thorn: If you're going to be like that, we suggest you should leave.
(Kay: Thorn: 'Cos you're a big mean skunk pants and we don't like you!)
(Lauren: Lol, skunk pants?)

Jadarthfeyr: Yes. *Cheerily.* They say you are a raging nymphomaniac.
Nathaniel: *Is completely unfazed.* That is nice.
(Kay: I love Jad. He's so awesome.)
(Lauren: I love him too. The fact that he's KNITTING now and admitting he reads women's gossip magazines is pretty priceless.)
(Kay: It is! ^_^ And I loved when he said 'everyone is still sleeping with everyone else.')
(Lauren: It's true. The high society in the Spirit World puts on such a front, but it's really rife with corruption and scandals and all sorts.)
(Kay: Aren't all organisations like that? Lol.)

Female Voice: What happened? What happened?
Female Voice 2: Is he okay?
Male Voice: Did he jump again?
Male Voice 2: Everyone, just calm down. We'll find out how it happened when he wakes up.
(Lauren: A fun game to play when this is published might be 'guess who was talking in the hospital'.)
(Kay: Thorn, Thorn, Rin and Red.)
(Lauren: Lol, what?)

Kuja: *Grits his teeth and pulls clumps of grass out of the ground, probably to stop himself from beating Thorn up.*
(Lauren: Thorn: What did I do? T_T)
(Kay: Thorn: T__T)
(Kay: Red: *Kicks Thorn.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Ouch)
(Lauren: Awww that was uncalled for.)

Lierlo: *Reappears in a flurry of leaves behind her. He reclaims his rapier and stabs her in the back.*
(Kay: Mihako: Well, this sucks.)
(Lauren: Lol, just a bit.)

*They head after Lierlo through the portal and arrive somewhere in the Spirit World. Lierlo is attacking Nathaniel by throwing thorns at him. Nathaniel is reflecting them with a Magickal barrier.*
(Lauren: Lol, throwing Thorns.)
(Kay: Thorn: Wahhh!)

CHAPTER 153
*Meanwhile, back at the castle. A day or so has passed since the incident with Mihako. Unexpectedly, Kuja seems to have taken her death a little hard. Lierlo is still in hospital. Chiara, Rin, Ares and Thorn are sat together in the TV Chamber, thinking about Lierlo.*
(Lauren: I mistyped 'Rin' as 'Tin' the first time.)

Chiara: About how me, Ares and you, daddy, joined this little gang really late on. Everyone else knew each other for ages before, but we had to take in a lot of stuff, a lot of weird stuff, which was never explained to us. I always thought Lierlo and Apathy were twin brothers, then they go and hold hands and kiss and stuff…
(Kay: Thorn: *Gives Ares a look.*)
(Kay: Ares: so I possessed you and went crazy. Shut up.)

*Kuja has a strange look in his eyes. He picks up one of the books, titled 'Regaining Lost Personalities,' and starts tearing the pages out in a frenzy.*
(Kay: Thorn: Oo-kay you've gone nuts.)

Thorn: I'm going, I'm going. *Leaves quickly.*
(Kay: I had to resist putting 'buggers off sharpish.')

Thorn: Even still, we ought to get the door.
(Kay: Someone at the door? In the rain? Ominous.)
(Lauren: It's not Paige, though the circumstances are similar.)
(Kay: *Phew.* Lol.)

Tifanel: Evelyn! *Can't help himself. He leaps up and grabs her into a tight hug, despite her being soaking wet.*
Evelyn: *Hugs him back for quite a while.* Hi Tif.
*Chiara looks rather worried by this sudden turn of events.*
(Lauren: Chi: SEEEEETHE.)
(Kay: Lol SEEEEEEETHE.)

Evelyn: You left your address with me and said I could come and see you if I was ever in trouble.
Ares: Did something happen…?
(Kay: Evelyn: Yes, Interrupter Jones.)

Evelyn: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. You just…. You just don't touch a girl there, okay?
**Flashback over.**
(Kay: Tif: :O Tits! *Grab!*)
(Lauren: Tif: I didn't know what they were!)
(Kay: Tif: But I soon learned the joy of jubblies!)

Laurenza: Oh Lierlo, we don't think you're crazy, just… not well.
Thorn: We just want to help you.
(Kay: Red: And if that means putting you in an asylum, so be it. *Sweet smile.*)

Thorn: I guess so. Is there anything we can do to help him?
(Kay: Thorn: Roreille, dear, apple of my eye?)
(Roreille: Yes, Thorn my one true love?)

Kuja: I know you don't want to talk about them, but could you please tell us a little more about the people that destroyed your world? Can you describe them at all?
Cain: *Looks a little annoyed.* Their appearance varies. Recognising them as what they are is down to a… feeling, an instinctual reaction, more than using their appearance as judge.
(Kay: Red: Yeah, that doesn't help.)
(Lauren: Lol, not at all.)


Cain:
I'm sorry, we have our customs and I'd like you to respect that.
(Kay: Thorn: well, you leave us no choice.)
(Kay: *The gang are suddenly kitted out ninja style and they kick Cain's ass.*)
(Lauren: Lmao wow.)
(Kay: But like REAL NINJA style, none of this yelling and magic and wearing orange nonsense.)
(Lauren: Yay!)

Cain: There were flashes of light and rumbling sounds, graduating into loud booms. It was like…
(Lauren: …A storm!)
(Kay: Lol, or an orchestra falling down the stairs in a firework factory.)
(Lauren: Lol yes… I can't fault that, but it's like a storm. That's what the gang are supposed to think.)

Tifanel: So just… Don't get your knickers in a twist over this, Chi. It's you I'm with now. Anyway, she won't be here long.
Chiara: *Nods.* Okay. *Hugs Tifanel.*
(Kay: *Sniggers at 'Don't get your knickers in a twist.')
(Kay: Tif: Though I wouldn't mind if you took them off! ;) )
(Lauren: Lol cheeky.)

Kuja: her. *Shoves Rin aside.* Get out of my way, I like to pretend I'm a doctor. *Examines Chiara.* This is quite a deep wound.
(Kay: Lmao. I bet that would be wonderful to quote out of context.)
(Lauren: Lol yes.)
(Kay: I think I might sometime.)
(Lauren: I'm glad it amused you. Kuja never knows when its NOT a good time to make jokes, lol.)
(Kay: But that's why we love him! <3)

Red: That's perhaps a little obvious, Kuja.
Kuja: Thank you for your thoughts, Red, but how about you redirect some of that energy used to make snide comments to fetching me some bandages and water?
(Lauren: Kuja: I believe you've met your match in cynicism, Red. Zing)
(Kay: Red: Shut up. Fetching things would make too much sense.)

Laurenza: Well, let me try mine. *Crouches by Chiara and holds her hands over her.* Regenerative forces that dwell in the white realms above, I beseech you. Restore my ally with your blessed light! Healing Aura! *Tiny white lights, like shining fireflies, circle Chiara and stem her bleeding.*
(Lauren: I should think Renz has decent healing Magick, as holy is her element. :P)
(Kay: Heheh yes.)
(Lauren: And I rather like Dr. Greyfare. *Imagines Kuja in a cheesy medical romance drama/soap.*)
(Kay: But because it's a cheesy medical romance, Thorn is suddenly a busty woman.)
(Lauren: Lmao a busty woman nurse.)
(Kay: Yep! And Tif can be the janitor.)

Evelyn: Tif? I'm also sorry for what I did to you. I guess it was really selfish...
Tifanel: Ya think? I don't think I can ever look at you in the same way again.
(Kay: Thorn: *Fondly thinks of the happy-happy-knifey incident.*)
(Lauren: Kuja: ...)

Evelyn: *Looks at him sadly for a moment, then leaves.*
(Lauren: Eve: *Gets hit with the door as she goes out.*)

CHAPTER 154
Kuja: Well, quite a lot has been going on lately, Mihako. *He laughs a little.* But that's the same as always, isn't it?
(Lauren: I'd quite like Thorn to come and find him ^_^)
(Kay: Thorn: *Busts in from behind a tree, wrestling with a snake and chopping down trees with the ManusBlade.* AH HA! I HAVE FOUND YOU!)

Kuja: I hope so. I shouldn't brood over it too much, I suppose. You can't change the past, so I'll just add it to my ever-growing list of regrets.
(Kay: Thorn: Man, that's a depressing thought. Lighten up, jeez.)
(Lauren: Kuja: You lighten up! *Sets him on fire.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Not what I meant…!)

Alexander: Kuja's mother and I... We're having a baby!
(Kay: Kuja: Wtfomg no! My parents still HAVE THE SEX??)

Alexander: Thank you! Heather's so happy about it, which is rather good. I've been in the doghouse for a while for eating the faces off her koi carp... *Looks a bit embarrassed.*
(Kay: Hahah, awww.)
(Lauren: Alex: Om nom nom. *Gets fins.*)
(Kay: Heather: OMG! WTF ARE YOU DOING?)
(Lauren: Lol just like that.)

Kuja: *Suddenly looks very disturbed.* Thorn, use your Dark Angel powers. Can you feel what I'm feeling?
(Kay: Thorn: I think so, Kuja, but where are we going to get that much cheese in such a short time?)
(Kay: [/Pinky and the Brain moment])

Thorn: *Nods and addresses Cain.* You wanted to talk to us?
(Kay: Thorn: Mr. Pointy-Tree-Friend-Man?)
(Lauren: Lol aww that's cute.)

Cain: I couldn't see who it was, as you were all deep inside me, but I definitely felt suspicious of one of you. I don't mean to worry you, but my instincts tell me one of your friends may be plotting against you...
(Kay: Ares: Don't look at me! I'm over that!)

Kuja: *Watches Lahrne for a moment, but decides the news is more important than asking him what he's doing.* Cain thinks one of us can't be trusted.
Ares: What?
(Kay: Red: He's probably wrong. He's a man.)
(Kay: Cain: Ironic. I'm a tree.)

Kuja: So all of us that were there on the trip through the Void need to go and see him tomorrow, so he can remember who it was he felt suspicious of.
Red: That's almost everyone, I think.
(Kay: Red: Almost a pity Dai didn't come with us. If anyone were plotting our downfall, it would be him.)

Lahrne: I'm trying to get ready for my Time Magick test. Lyrian's coming to test me to make sure I've been practicing... *Looks guilty.* ...And I haven't...
Thorn: Oh, I see.
(Kay: Thorn: Well, you're gonna fail. Lol.)

Ares: Maybe we could help you?
(Kay: Red: No, its a test. That would be cheating. It's his own fault, because he's male. I mean, because he didn't practice.)
(Lauren: Shush! Lol.)

Kuja: Tifanel, just because you'll never, ever have sex it doesn't mean everyone else is a virginal loser.
Red: That was a little below the belt, don't you think?
Tifanel: Yeah... You're a bastard, Kuja. You don't know anythin'.
(Lauren: Tif: I'll have ya know I screwed Chi the other night.)
(Kay: Ares: We know. We heard.)
(Lauren: *RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.*)
(Kay: Why do I get the impression Chi is either noisy or a screamer in bed...?)
(Lauren: Because she's noisy all the time, so why would her sex be any different? Lol.)
(Kay: Hahah, good call.)
(Lauren: At the end of the last chapter, Tif and Chi slept together for the first time, so who knows? Maybe magic did happen. ;))
(Kay: Zing!)


*They go to Rin's room and knock on the door. There's no answer, so Chiara just barges in.*
Rin: My, that wasn't very polite.
Chiara: But we wanted to come and comfort you!
Red: That and you didn't answer the door.
(Kay: Rin: I might've been naked! A plus for you lovely ladies, but I might've been a tad startled.)

Rin: *Smiles a little.* This is all very thoughtful of you all. *Unusually, he doesn't make a flirtatious comment to Ares.*
(Lauren: Ares: *Stands there waiting for it. Is a little surprised when it doesn't come so she checks Rin's pulse.*)

Chiara: They're right, daddy. You just haven't found the right woman yet! …Or man!
(Lauren: You: *Goes mad on slash.*)
(Kay: Rin and Tif: *Nod sagely.*

Rin: ...I don't believe that's really the problem.
(Lauren: Rin: Because I'm not a homosexual!)
(Kay: Fangrils: LIES!)
(Lauren: Hahah, gotta have SOME straight characters. I know it's hard T_T)
(Kay: Lol I'm only kidding.)

Laurenza: Thorn once told me something when I was worried about Ana and me. He said parent and child bonds take time to form. Just spend time with Chiara, Rin, and give her a chance. I'm sure you'll come to love her.
(Lauren: Thorn: I said that? wow, that's some sage advice. Mm, sage. *Eats some turkey stuffing.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Yeah, what that guy who looks suspiciously like me said. ^_^)
(Lauren: Lol clonessss…)
(Kay: Imposter!Thorn...?)
(Lauren: Hollow!Thorn, Posi!Thorn, Nega!Thorn... I've had enough of those.)
(Kay: Me too.)
(Kay: Nega!Thorn: Aww, but I'm the fan favourite! *Nega!sulk.*)
(Lauren: Wow, that's one evil sulk.)
(Lauren: Hahah, I almost typed 'that's one evil soak'. Evil bath??)
(Kay: Nega!Thorn: Yeah, I take those, too. I bathe in black bubbles and wash myself with the blood of my enemies. That's actually why I have red hair.)
(Lauren: Lol eurgh! O_O)

Thorn: I'll help you if you want, Tif.
(Kay: He IS the strongest man in the world…)

Daimonion: *Without looking up from his cleaning.* I'd say if you want to know something about a plant, you should ask the experts.
Ares: Experts?
(Kay: Thorn: It's a pity Cain isn't a horse. I bet Lierlo has a book about them. *Thinks of Falos.*)

Rin: So you believe these Ylcian people might have some medicine for a suffering Demon tree?
Daimonion: It's not impossible.
Ares: It's worth a try.
(Kay: Red: To the PurpleMobile, away!)
(Lauren: Lol, hold your horses.)
(Kay: Falos: With pleasure! ^__^)

Rin: Then I suppose that's quite kind of you, Daimonion. I appreciate your concern for me.
Daimonion: *Gives him a wry, mysterious smile.* Who said anything about doing this for you? I'm keeping quiet for my own sake. *Throws the duster at Rin before vanishing from the room.*
Rin: *Screws the duster up, looking confused by Daimonion's words.* How puzzling…
(Kay: Oh that Dai. He's like a puzzle sometimes. And that Rin is a like a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a puzzle covered in chocolate.)
(Lauren: Lol that sounds mysteriously edible.)
(Kay: It does. Mm.)

*Rin joins the others (Red, Ares, Laurenza, Kuja and Kitzie) on The Destiny and Kuja sets the course for Ozoma.*
(Kay: *Whoosh! PurpleMobile, AWAY!*)
(Lauren: Hahah yes. Is that your new name for it?)
(Kay: Yes!)

Red: I hope it isn't full of giant squids or nasties like that.
(Kay: Red: I don't want to do that again. *Le shudder.*)
(Lauren: Lol, again?)
(Kay: :D Implying a character has done something outrageous before is always funny.)

Red: You should. You two come up with the most outlandish things I've ever heard. Kids would love it.
(Kay: Translation: You guys talk crap. Kids love that.)
(Lauren: Lmao yes.)

Rin: Your words wound me, both of you. I haven't actually been to Ozoma, no, but I have heard of it at least. It's supposed to be a very lush planet full of natural beauty.
(Kay: Ares: It's a planet, not a woman.)
(Lauren: He means plants, you noob. :P)
(Kay: Lol I know, but he uses the same kind of words to describe the laydees.)
(Lauren: True…)

Red: Oh, I'm sure you'll find some girl who catches your eye.
Ares: You always do.
(Kay: Ares: And I wish you wouldn't, you sod!)
(Lauren: Rin: Because you're jealous...? *Looks hopeful.*)
(Kay: Ares: No, I mean you keep hitting on me and I don't appreciate it! *Hits him with a potted cactus.*)
(Lauren: Lol, ouch.)
(Kay: It's okay, she hit him with the pot, not the plant.)
(Lauren: Still...)
(Kay: Yeah, poor Rinrin. *Hugs him.*)

Rin: *Shakes his head and steadies The Destiny again.* I'm... sorry, I do believe I got a little carried away…
Kuja: *Rubs his backside.* You don't say.
Ares: Maybe you should give Kuja the controls back...
Rin: Yes, I think I will...
*Rin sits down again and Kuja takes the controls.*
(Lauren: Rin: Woohoo, adrenaline rush!)
(Kay: Rin, you're freakin' crazy and weird.)
(Lauren: I know, isn't it gweat? ^_^)
(Kay: Very yes.)

*The youth brings them to a village and removes the spell. This place more closely matches Rin's description of Ozoma than the battlefield did. It is a beautiful, lush place with many exotic plants. There isn't a road or a modern machine in sight. The buildings are all nestled high in the treetops, constructed out of natural materials and resembling beehives.*
(Kay: I misread that as 'anorexic plants.')

Kuja: It sounds like a helicopter.
Man: What's a 'helly… kopter?'
(Lauren: Aruun: They don't have helicopters on MY planet... trumble.)
(Kay: Well what DO they have, Ruunble Red?)
(Lauren: Lmao. 'Ruunble Red.')

Aruun: Nice to meet you all. *Looks at Kuja's wings, then at the rest of the gang.* Um, what happened to your antennae?
(Kay: Kuja: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, boy?)

Laurenza: *Quietly.* They would have some feathers on if you didn't keep pulling them off and eating them, Kuja.
Kuja: Oh shush.
(Lauren: Kuja: I cant help it! Damn Dark Angel influence making me grow feathers when they're so tasty! T_T)
(Kay: Red: We ought to put something on them so you won't want to eat them.)
(Lauren: Rin: *Offers some of that poison he dumped in Cain's lake for reasons unexplained.*)
(Kay: Red: Maybe not poison...)


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