
CHAPTER
136
*The gang are gathered as usual for dinner. They have been treated to something that can only be described as a fish slop by Chiara. She caught, cleaned and cooked the fish herself, though it seems she only managed a good job of the first two activities. Unwilling to hurt her feelings, the gang are doing their best to eat it. Kitzie seems to be the only one genuinely enjoying it.*
(Lauren: *Has a lot of fun coming up with what they eat.*)
Chiara: Oh Kuja, you've cleared your plate! Have some more. *Ladles another large dollop on to his plate.*
(Anthony: Hah hah, he can't win.)
Tifanel: Yeah, just a lil' trip.
Thorn: Anywhere nice?
Tifanel: Ahh, nothin' that'd interest you guys.
Kitzie: The zoo?
(Lauren: Reference to Chapter 30 for the win!)
Rin: I agree wholeheartedly. Family is of the utmost importance.
Ares: Hmm...
(Lauren: *Is curious about Ares' 'hmm…')
(Anthony: Hee hee.)
(Lauren: Is that a 'I'ma not telling!' giggle?)
(Anthony: You bet!)
Chiara: I caught this today, you... poop!
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Thems fightin' words!)
Ana: *Slams two cars together.*
Chiara: Boom! Wow, what destruction!
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Careful, she'll be at the world next!)
Chiara: *Gives him a hard stare.* Oh, you big dolt! Of course there's another reason. Don't you get it? I want to come because I want to be with you! *Takes a deep breath.* I love you, you crazy fool!
(Anthony: There is a long silence, only broken by Thorn's shower singing.)
(Lauren: Lmao. I was going to write about there being silence, you nut!)
(Anthony: Tee hee.)
*There is a few moments of silence. Tifanel and Chiara just look at each other, their expressions impossible to fathom.*
Tifanel: Yeah, it's just… I'm me and you… you're a pretty young girl. I didn't think you'd want me like that.
(Lauren: Tif wins the Captain Obvious prize with the statement 'I'm me.')
(Anthony: Lol aye.)
Tifanel: Well, don't you reckon I'm too old for you?
Chiara: No... *Seems a bit worried.* Do... you?
Tifanel: Well… just a bit. When I was your age, you weren't even born.
(Lauren: Scary thought lol.)
(Anthony: Oh well, look at Thorn and Kuja.)
(Lauren: I know. Me and Kay have a rule about underage love that goes something like this: if there is more than 100 years between you and your lover, it's perfectly okay no matter how young the youngest is. ^^; )
(Anthony: Lol.)
Lahrne: Um... *Looks around anxiously, as if Thorn is going to jump out any moment and tell him not to.* Sure, I'll give it a try!
(Anthony: Lol. *Imagines a Thorn cuckoo clock.* 'Don't dooo it!')
(Lauren: Lol wow, I want one!)
(Anthony: Me too!)
Chiara: Squee! Thank you! Hit me with your time rays, baby!
(Anthony: Lol, now I've got me a new status message.)
(Lauren: Use it! Use it!)
Lahrne: Ohh... hope dad won't be mad with me...
Thorn: *Steps through the door.* Mad about what?
(Lauren: The latest dance craze, the Time Rays?)
(Anthony: Lol.)
Thorn: *Is silent for a while, but soon shakes his head.* It's okay. We'll sort it out.
(Lauren: Thorn: Must... suppress... rage…)
(Anthony: Lmao.)
Kitzie: Oh no, Lahrney might get in trouble!
Thorn: It's okay Kitzie. I won't let them do anything to Lahrne.
(Anthony: Like you didn't let Chronos take him away?)
(Anthony: Zing.)
(Lauren: Lol ouch.)
(Anthony: *Wishes someone could say that.*)
(Lauren: Red should. Kuja would, but he loves teh Thorn, and Red hates Thorn.)
(Anthony: Lol it's true. But Red isn't that evil.)
(Lauren: Shall I make Apathy say it, then?)
(Anthony: Yeah okay.)
Apathy: Oh, in the same way that you didn't let Chronos take him away?
Chiara: *Grins at Tifanel.* You're a hunky man. Will you pre-chew my food for me?
(Anthony: *Violently projectile vomits a little.*)
(Lauren: *Catches it in a bucket.*)
CHAPTER
137
Tifanel: Chi, what are ya doin' here? Shouldn't you be restin' in bed or something? *Spots the cane.* Is that Rin's?
(Lauren: *Imagines Rin limping around without it.*)
Chiara: *Looks huffy.* You should respect your elders, Nelly!
Tifanel: ...Nelly?
(Anthony: Tee hee.)
(Lauren: "Nelly the elephant packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus...")
(Anthony: Nelly: Fuck you, circus!)
(Lauren: Lol. 'I'll make my OWN circus! With blackjack, and hookers!')
Chiara: Hey look, I bet we could squish one of these houses with The Destiny! Ooh, ooh, can we try it?
(Anthony: The woman's vicious!)
Felicity: Tifanel? *Recognises him at last. She cries out and hugs him tightly* Oh, Tifanel! Is it really you? You've grown so much, dear!
(Lauren: Don't you hate it when people say that after meeting again after a long time? I mean, what do they expect? For you to look exactly the same after a decade and a half?)
Tifanel: Uh, she's uh… the grandmother of a friend. I brought her to Earth… 'cos she needs some… um… medicine from here. *Grins not entirely convincingly.*
(Lauren: Chiara: Ointment!)
Felicity: You don't know the half of it. Riley… Riley went to prison.
(Lauren: Dun dun DUN!)
(Anthony: Lol and gosh!)
(Lauren: Golly!)
Tifanel: Well, I took the job as Royal Guardian that Riley found me, and I've been there ever since. Life's never dull there. Lemme tell ya a couple of things that've happened…
(Lauren: *Cue clips episode.*)
*Meanwhile, back at the castle, Lahrne pokes his head around Kitzie's bedroom door. He's holding something behind his back.*
(Lauren: It's a RAY GUN!)
Kitzie: But I do like you, Lahrney.
(Anthony: Lahrne: Then toss me off, woman!)
(Lauren: Lmao. He's EIGHT.)
(Anthony: Yes…)
Chiara: Really? I thought you'd hit me with your smacky stick... or at least yell at me a little!
(Lauren: I want a smacky stick.)
(Anthony: Lol, I still have mine* from the prom.)
(Lauren: *Jealous.* Lol.)
(Anthony: Tee hee.)
*See the smacky stick here!
CHAPTER
138
Red: Pirates?
(Lauren: Yar har har!)
Ferryman: *Turns back to them.* So, got business in Miledgia or is it a pleasure trip?
(Lauren: 'Pleasure trip' sounds so unintentionally erotic.)
Laurenza: Don't worry about us. I don't think we've got anything worth the pirates stealing anyway.
(Lauren: Says Laurenza modestly, adjusting her priceless Rendemal family emblem-emblazoned tiara, before fastening her cloak with her jewelled brooch.)
Laurenza: Well... *Smiles in an embarrassed way.* ...I've never actually sailed one myself before, but I saw my father doing it...
Red: *Considers this for a moment* ..Well, it can't be that hard. I'm sure we'll manage.
(Kay: Red: Don't follow what he did, he's a MAN! He doesn't know anything!)
(Lauren: Lol, oh yes, I forgot that detail. Red = raging lesbinazi. ¬_¬)
(Kay: Lol we all knew that…)
Red: Unfortunately, I think I agree..! *She grabs hold of Laurenza and jumps off the ship*
(Lauren: *SPLASH!*)
(Kay: Lol I was thinking that.)
Laurenza: *Quietly.* I thought the days of piracy were long gone, but I guess if people like us still insist on using sailing ships, there's the opportunity to mug us. I wonder what they're like... Peg legs? Eyepatches?
Red: *In hushed tones* I should imagine they all have scurvy.
(Lauren: That's really funny for some reason.)
(Kay: Lol thankies. now picture her saying it in a really matter-of-fact kind of way.)
Amber: Red... and Laurenza? I remember you guys! You came to Velaz for the Imperial Ball, right? Made off with a really nice trinket too.
(Lauren: If this were a TV show, we'd stick in a few clips from that episode here.)
(Kay: With Eye of the Tiger in the background. Good montage music, that.)
(Lauren: Lmao yes!)
Red: HI.
(Kay: Oops no, she didn't yell that…)
(Lauren: Or she's a robot.)
Amber: Good job, girls. Maybe you should consider joining my crew full time?
(Kay: Red: NO.)
(Lauren: Laurenza: *Knocks her head off with her shovel.*)
*Two long cannon-like weapons extend from the front of the ship and fire powerful lasers at the cave. The flotsam is blasted into tiny pieces.*
Red: *Looks taken aback* Good grief.
(Kay: Kuja: Bah. The Destiny's Death Ray is much better.)
Man: I should beat you again for your insolence! *Takes his belt off and slaps it against his palm threateningly.*
(Lauren: Insolence is such a great word. INSOLENCE!)
(Kay: Eek! *Hides in a groudy old cupboard.*)
Red: Well, no. I mean, I understand why he's like that, but it doesn't change how I feel. And I feel angry.
(Kay: Red: GRR ARGH.)
CHAPTER
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Laurenza: Let's give it our best shot then. Oops, pun...
Red: Good job Kuja isn't here..
(Lauren: Kuja: *Cocks shotgun.*)
(Kay: Red: See?)
*The cannons extend and shoot two super-charged streams of water at the fire. The fire is quickly doused.*
Red: Hey, it worked...!
(Kay: Amber: Yeah, don't sound so surprised...)
CHAPTER
140
Tifanel: Nah, nah, that came out wrong! I didn't mean it like that! No offence, Chi, you're really nice and all, but I really need a guy to be friends with. A guy would've found that story hilarious, I'm sure.
(Kayru: Red: Sexist! Feminist powers, activate! *Karate kicks Tif.*)
Tifanel:*Sighs, allowing himself to be pulled along.* I want a friend, not a date!
(Kayru: *Makes inappropriate comments about various Crack!Shippings involving Tif and the other men.*)
Tifanel: A 'safe' distance? We're not gonna like... blow up bombs or nothin'... I thought we could just have a couple of beers.
(Lauren: Thorn's all like 'Yeah, that's great, invite ME to drink who's immune to the effects of alcohol 'cosI'maDarkAngel!')
Tifanel: I think you'd look good in one of them big, tall ones with the... plaity bits and the curls... *Hiccups loudly.* Yeah, just like that... a big old w-w-wig. Don't ya think?
(Kayru: Thorn: Holy crap no.)
(Lauren: Lol yes, I was hoping he would disagree, but he's too nice to say it like that.)
Thorn: Well... personally, not really.
Thorn: Relationships always have ups and downs. It's just how it goes, Tifanel. *Puts a hand on Tifanel's shoulder in a friendly way.*
(Kayru: In a totally het, non-homo, 'just being his friend' way.)
(Lauren: I'm sure, ducky. *Zips up handbag.*)
(Kayru: Quack!)
Thorn: Chiara, Tif probably had that left over in his pocket from before he got with you.
(Kayru: Thorn: 'Cos he doesn't change his clothes much.)
Kuja: So... read any good books lately?
Tifanel: Uh, no...
(Kayru: Thorn: Tif can read?)
CHAPTER
141
Kuja: Something called a Trinstilon Crystal. We'll be able to find some in the Wrae Mountains on Yochi, with a bit of luck. I think my father must have discovered them at the same time as researching the Etheraals, seeing as though he built The Destiny around then. I'll go there after breakfast.
(Kayru: I misread the name of the crystal as 'Trinstilton.'
Thorn: *Touches his face gently and kisses him.* Apology accepted. Oh, if I'm coming too, I ought to get some things together.
(Kayru: Thorn: Like clean undies.)
(Lauren: Thorn: They've got bunnies on them! ^__^)
(Kayru: Lol no, they'd have the days of the week of them.)
(Lauren: Aww!)
Kuja: She just thinks she is. I'm very glad The Fate actually still works. I was afraid it wouldn't start ever since Mihako took her permanent nap.
Thorn: We're lucky it does.
(Kayru: Thorn: How else could we get to get the stuff for The Destiny?
(Lauren: Kuja: quiet, monkey, Renza is using this time to explain some mechanics of the two airships.)
(Kayru: Thorn: Ook?)
Thorn: I don't think so. You're not defined by who your parents were and what they did. Unless you'd like to be a doctor, in which case I won't stop you.
(Kayru: *Tries to picture Kuja as a doctor. Doesn't quite manage it.*)
(Lauren: Kuja: *Walks up to a patient's bed and looks at their chart.* My god, you're going to die. *Walks out.*)
(Kayru: Lmao, exactly!)
Heather: Oh Vi, haven't you figured it out yet? Kuja and Thorn were woken by the cat at the same time because they slept together. They're... you know... *Giggles.*
Violet: Ohhh...
(Heather: They're... RAGING HOMOSEXUALS!)
CHAPTER
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Alexander: Oh no, that's okay. I just don't want your hands touching me in awkward places, boy.
Thorn: Don't worry, they won't.
(Kay: Thorn: What do you think I am, gay or somethi-- Oh, wait.)
Alexander: *Sits on the sofa and touches a dark patch on the material.* This sofa is still stained, I see. Young Kujata spilt blackcurrant juice on it and we never got it clean. Heather had kittens about it, but it didn't bother me. It was a hideous sofa to begin with.
Thorn: *Laughs a little.*
(Kay: He's probably picturing heather actually having kittens.)
Thorn: Don't worry, I'm sure there'll be lots of other places away from the lake to sit.
Violet: *Butts in.* Of course there is, darling. We'll climb the hill and watch the sun set. It's simply a glorious view from up there.
(Lauren: Kuja: *Attacks her with a submachine gun.*)
(Kay: Thorn: *Cheers him on.*)
Violet: Maybe you boys can sneak a kiss whilst your father's not looking.
(Kay: Thorn: Mind your own business! *Punches her and she flies off into the sun.*)
Heather: I wouldn't trade him for the world.
(Lauren: Heather: But I'd trade him for two worlds!)
Thorn: No way! *Draws his ManusBlade and defends himself with it.*
(Kay: *Cut to scene of thorn holding it over his crotch.* Thorn: Gotta protect the vitals!)
(Lauren: Rofl.)
(Kay: Where the hell does Thorn keep that thing? Pocket?)
(Lauren: I assumed it's strapped to his back.)
(Kay: You'd probably notice if it was in his pocket. Kuja would be like 'Is that a ManusBlade in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?' And Thorn's like 'It's a ManusBlade. ^_^')
Alexander: *Is struck by the spell and screeches horribly. He crumples beneath Thorn, twitching and whimpering. It seemed to really hurt him.*
(Lauren: Mortal Kombat Voice: FINISH HIM!)
*Just before the blade strikes Alexander, Kuja suddenly for some reason jumps in its path, making him take the brunt of the blow instead.*
Thorn: *Looks shocked.* Kuja!
Kuja: Ugh... Thorn...
Thorn: Oh god, are you okay?
(Kay: Thorn: Are you NUTS?)
Alexander: I will not speak their name. They have been dormant for a while, but they're now making their move. All must beware.
(Lauren: Thorn: Voldemort?)
CHAPTER
143
Kuja: *Takes the letter from Laurenza and scans it.* Hmm... they mention the Pope and those coordinates are pretty close, relatively speaking, so I'm sure they're asking us to come to Palamoor. I don't know, the last time someone told us to go to Palamoor, it didn't end well. This could be trap.
Thorn: Yes... but it also could be legitimate...
(Kay: Red: Kuja... You think EVERYTHING is a trap...)
(Lauren: Lol, I was thinking along similar lines. 'Oh, good ol' Kuja, professional sceptic, always the first to doubt something.' That and I had a funny image of him literally scanning the letter. Like with a barcode scanner from a shop.)
Thorn: These creatures... what are they?
(Kay: Kuja: Quick, where's Lierlo when you need him?)
Ryo: Hmph... *Steps out towards them. He is dressed the same as the others. He has longish and straight hair, which is dark brown in colour. He is also wearing a green bandana and dark glasses are covering his eyes, even though they're indoors. The gang feel there is something familiar about him, but they cant quite place what it is.* Fine. I guess we could do with all the help we can get.
(Kay: Thorn: That's the spirit! *Punches him in the arm.*)
(Lauren: Lol, random.)
(Kay: In a jovial way. ^_^)
(Lauren: Sorry, I couldn't help imagining Thorn punching him and knocking him flying out a nearby window, 'cos of his manly DA strength.)
(Kay: Lmao wow.)
CHAPTER
144
Red: Oh, can't you just go away?
(Kay: Red: And maybe die?)
*One of the Hallowed Knights that is still in action clobbers the distracted Tifanel around the head.*
(Lauren: KANG!)
Thorn: *Holds his hand out towards the Hallowed Knights.* Centé! *He cats the fire spell at them, scorching them.*
(Kay: Uh… 'CASTS'... not 'cats'...)
(Lauren: Lol awww. *Imagines Thorn throwing cats at them.*)
(Kay: Not cats on fire, I hope.)
(Lauren: O_o Me too!)
Ryo: *Is just fast enough to block Tifanel with his own sword, umistakably Li's custom broadsword, Loretta.*
(Kay: Loretttttaaaaa!)
(Lauren: Lol what?)
(Kay: I don't know, it just kinda sounds like a name that would be GREAT to yell.)
Red: He might listen to you... After all, he's most loyal to you.
(Kay: I typed 'most lovely to you' first time.)
(Lauren: Lol, Renza x tif?)
(Kay: I'd ship for that!)
Tifanel: *Sneers.* Yeah, sure. I You're just usin' Niko and Vanda, like you used the Hallowed Knights for your own means… I bet you're hopin' Vanda will think you're some kinda hero and put out!
(Kay: Thorn: Put out what? No one's on fire.)
(Lauren: Kuja: *Kick.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Ouch.)
Tifanel: *Stands over Ryo.* Say goodnight, old pal...! *Drives his sword downwards into Ryo's chest. However, instead of piercing his flesh, the sword clanks against him hard and the tip is bent out of shape.* What the...?!
(Kay: Ryo's a robot?)
Thorn: *Shakes head.* Hypocrites. C'mon, let's deal with this guy.
(Kay: Thorn: *Picks up Ruther and dumps him in a cesspit.*)
Ruther: Oof...! Agh! Fiaran, with frozen wings, harden my defences! *His spears build an ice wall around him, which Rin continues to assault with his bottle.*
(Kay: Kitzie: Go for the throat!)
CHAPTER
145
Thorn: Are you sure that's a good idea? Don't forget, they are Demons, after all.
Kuja: What's that supposed to mean?
(Kay: Thorn: *Puts foot in it.*)
Lierlo: Heh... *Veers the conversation into less dangerous waters by drawing attention to the Encyclopaedia Demonica.* These are Manjimau, right? It says here they're quite peaceful and harmless. Perhaps we could just set them free in Loliusin Hollow?
Red: Yes, because it's such a good idea to release non-native species into an ecosystem.
Lierlo: Ahh, well...
Chiara: Well, does anyone have a better idea?
(Kay: Kuja: Let's kill and eat them.)
(Lauren: Lol, well they do have widdle wings...)
Thorn: I'm sure there's a phone book around here somewhere. *He goes off to find it.*
(Kay: Thorn: *At the dining table.* Here it is! *Takes it off Kuja's chair.*)
Ruther: I'll show those heretics the cost of wronging I, Ruther Philan! May Amyrian's light guide my blades!
(Lauren: *Throws another bad guy into the mix*)
(Kay: Thorn: And now it's time to add that 500 grams of sugar and the two pints of milk. Stir well to avoid lumps. I like to use the electric whisk at this point...)
(Lauren: Lol Thorn can't cook. remember Chef Challenge?)
(Kay: Lol I never said he was doing it well!)
*As the boy leaves, the horse transforms into a carousel ride, leaving the two farmers completely baffled.*
(Kay: Falos: Nooooooooo, not my horse! my love, come back to me!)
(Lauren: Lierlo: I feel your pain.)
Rin: Already you can hear the ominous clank of the ball and chain. My girl has a good grip on Tifanel.
Thorn: Is that a good thing or a bad thing...?
Rin: *Slightly enigmatically.* That's for you to decide.
Thorn: Ahh, I see.
(Lauren: Thorn: Rin, you can be effing weird.)
(Lauren: Rin: *Pokes dead stuff.*)
(Kay: Lol awww. Imagine that with them all cute chibi style.)
(Lauren: Lol I did.)
Red: Well... Tif obviously just doesn't understand fishing. It's supposed to be a whole lot of sitting, doing nothing and waiting. That's the point.
(Kay: *Imagines Red, Scorn, Thorn and Ares on a fishing trip. Thorn's fallen asleep and the girls are bored (except Scorn, 'cos she's watching the clouds) so Red and Ares tip Thorn overboard.*)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Kay: I can just picture that happening.)
(Lauren: Me too!)
Thorn: Women never, ever say what they're really thinking. They're like an Rubik's cube- you get one layer solved, but you flip it over and the rest of it is still a muddle and you have to rearrange everything to try and solve it.
(Kay: Thorn: That, and they're colourful! ^_^)
Thorn: Maybe you two should make up, Tif... It's not nice to see you not getting on.
(Kay: Thorn: Maybe you could teach Chi to use a sword too. No, wait... that's too scary an idea.)
Kuja: You're not one for spontaneously bursting into song, are you?
Thorn: Not usually.
(Kay: *Imagines Thorn bursting into song at inappropriate moments, such as at breakfast, in a battle or during sex.*)
CHAPTER
146
Boy: The Alloni Carnival on Palamoor... Could you take me home?
(Lauren: Feh, I know Sock Kid's carnival was on Dalimoor in AS, but alternate reality, yadda yadda shut up.)
(Kay: I didn't say anything! I wasn't going to question it! Wahhh! *Hides in a box.*)
(Lauren: Lol I know, I wasn't being mean to you. I just wanted to say that.)
(Kay: Lol, I know and I just wanted to hide in the box. It's spacious! ^_^)
*The scene fades to white and then we see inside the bar again. Rin is pouring drinks for the customers, but his attention is mainly focused on a young woman standing before him. She is a quite beautiful and dominant figure, with wavy, raven hair and sky blue eyes. She leans on the bar top and speaks in a gentle voice.*
Woman: You're going to have to tell Shiloh you have to knock off early tonight. You've got a very important engagement you can't afford to miss… *Strokes Rin's chin with a finger.*
Rin: You, my dear Winny, are a very bad influence. Don't you have some important business of your own to attend to?
Winny: *Waves a hand vaguely.* Oh, that can wait. You know you want to, Rinny.
(Kay: *Waves at Windsong.*)
(Lauren: Yup, it sure is. Winny and Rinny, they were quite a pair.)
(Kay: That's terribly cute.)
(Lauren: I thought 'Winny' would be a better nickname than... 'Windy.')
(Kay: Lmao yes. Too many people like Kay would find that funny.)
Boy: Yeah, they've been dead for a long time... *His eyes darken.* ...And so have I...
Thorn: Wait, what?
(Lauren: *^Homestar voice.*)
(Kay: Ares and Thorn: YAY SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S DEAD! LETS START A CLUB! WHEEE!)
(Lauren: Kuja: Can I join?)
(Kay: Thorn: Sure!)
(Kay: Li: Me too?)
(Kay: Everyone: NO!)
(Lauren: Li: Fuck you! *Crushes them with his heavy stone weight.*)
(Kay: Everyone: OH NO OUR SPINES!!!)
(Lauren: Lol, mad.)
Lahrne: Hey, look! A clue! *He picks up a small piece of paper from near one of the bodies. It has been neatly folded.*
(Kay: Red: Ooh, nicely spotted, Scooby Doo.)
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147
Kuja: Oh, all right. I'm reading a book, but I'll only show you what it is if you promise not to laugh.
(Kay: Thorn: Is it the Karma Sutra? 'Cos I already read that.)
(Lauren: Lol no.)
(Kay: Red: It won't be a cookbook, now will it?)
(Lauren: Heheh, no.)
Thorn: Of course. If it's something you want to do, something you'd feel better for doing and something you're capable of, the least you can do is try, right? And I think you'd be good at it. I mean, you're intelligent, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch mentally.
(Kay: Thorn: We just have to work on your bedside manner.)
Kuja: Heh heh, you're right. So sometime in the future, I'll go to medical school and then you'll have to call me Dr Greyfare. *Grins.*
(Kay: Thorn: Well, I can think of a good time when we can practice that.)
(Lauren: Lol, kinky boy!)
Daimonion: Pretty much. Cooking, cleaning the toilet… You could even use me as your own personal punch bag and there's nothing I can do about it because of this infernal bracelet! *Shows them a small, metal device clipped round his upper arm.*
(Kay: Thorn: Don't tell Red she could beat you senseless, she might.)
Red: Apathy, I like how you think.
(Lauren: Apathy: Let's make out.)
(Kay: Red: 'kay.)
(Lauren: Lolo & Renz: T_T)
(Kay: Lol aww.)
Daimonion: A diabolical contraption made by humans. It seals my Magick to a degree and accentuates my Djinn instincts, so I get a nasty pain every time I do something naughty.
(Kay: Thorn: *Looks like he feels sorry for Dai.*)
(Lauren: Aww he'd feel sorry for a brick.)
(Kay: He would!)
Chiara: *Looks a bit foolish.* Oh yeah... But best friends should have sleepovers together, like in the same room! You can stay in my room tonight and we'll do girly things!
Ares: Um, okay.
(Lauren: Ares: I never get a choice in things when it comes to Chiara! T_T)
Thorn: Let's get him upstairs, quick.
(Kay: And so the world's strongest man takes Rin upstairs.)
(Lauren: Lol no way, the world's second strongest man will get a chance to shine.)
(Lauren: Tif: *Waves.*)
(Kay: Lol okay. ^_^)
Kuja: Yes, then I'll try and make a diagnosis.
Tifanel: Sure. *Lifts Rin up.* ...Wait, since when was Kuja a doctor?
Chiara: Shush up, Kuja. Tif's my boyfriend and Ares is my best friend, so of course they'll come to help my daddy.
Ares: I don't mind. I probably would've gone anyway.
(Lauren: Tif: There's a Jim Terano marathon on today, but I don't like to argue with Chi in case she inherited Rin's smacky smacky habits! T_T)
(Kay: Thorn: That and she might insult your penis size. Again.)
(Lauren: Awww!)
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148
Tifanel: *Looks up at the sign.* 'The Pope's Legs?' Well... yeah, she probably does have pretty nice ones under that big dress...
Chiara: *Looks scandalised.* Tif!
(Lauren: You can just imagine it in the Amyri'ite Scriptures... 'Thou shalt not speculate on the Pope's nice legs'.)
(Kay: *Laughs.* It's probably in there, that's the worrying part!)
(Lauren: Lol yes.)
Shiloh: Where in the sam hill have y'been? Ya disappear without a trace, y'don't tell me where you're goin', y'don't write, y'don't call! I've been worried ill 'bout ya! Years, Rin, it's been years! Well, it's sure nice y'finally came back to see me, but it's only 'cos y'needed somethin'!
Ares: Oh... I see.
(Lauren: Rin: Whoopsiedoodle, I knew I forgot something when I went into hiding! ^_^)
(Kay: Lol oops.)
Ares: Hi, I'm Ares.
(Kay: Ares: You can call me Ares.)
Ares: Bus... boat?
Shiloh: Exactly what it sounds like. It's a public transport kinda thing, but a boat.
Ares: Oh, I see. New one to me.
Shiloh: Don't they have 'em on your planet?
(Lauren: Lol I cant imagine the Dalin locals liking the idea. 'WHAT IS THIS DIABOLICAL SPLICING OF LAND AND WATER DEVICES? IT BE THE DEVIL'S OFFSPRING!)
(Kay: Lmao, that's one for the raws!)
Tifanel: Well... they might in the big cities, I dunno, but our local village is a bit... backward.
(Lauren: Kuja: Bit like you then, Tif, haw haw haw.)
(Kay: Mean!)
Tifanel: He also collects dead things in a shoebox under his bed...
Ares: But why?
(Kay: Ares: Dead things are gross. I should know. I am one! ^_^)
(Lauren: Lol yes.)
Tifanel: It's the great minds thing again, ain't it?
Chiara: If you say so... *Sticks her tongue out.*
Tifanel: Hey!
(Lauren: Tif: Not only does she think I have a tiny penis, she thinks I have a tiny brain too! T_T)
(Kay: Kuja: No, Tif, its the truth.)
(Lauren: Tif: Waaaah! *Destroys world.*)
(Kay: Kuja: Curses, that's my thing!)
(Lauren: Aw.)
Ariella: And it's nice to meet you, Chiara's friends. You're here to get new glasses for Rin, aren't you?
Ares: How did you know?
(Kay: Ariella: Rin squinting is a BIG giveaway.)
Tifanel: Looks kinda precarious to walk through.
Rin: We need to go in.
(Lauren: Kuja: Wow, 'precarious', that's a long word for you to use, Tif.)
(Kay: Red: He must've heard it on the TV.)
(Lauren: Lol, aww.)
Shiloh: I'm glad. I've sure missed ya, Rin.
Rin: And I you. *Hugs him.*
(Lauren: Audience: Naw.)
(Kay: Awwwww.)
(Lauren: Shi: But y'still could've called! *Hits him with a Gryphon.*)
*They reach the mountain peak and Chiara lands, setting Ares down. They are stood before a monstrous nest filled with glinting treasure and other pretty artefacts. Among the trinkets are several squawking Gryphon chicks. The mother Gryphon and Tifanel are also there, the Gryphon yanking hard at Tifanel's sword, trying to wrench it from his hands.*
Chiara: Tif!
(Kay: Ares: Oooh, shiny.)
(Lauren: Lol aww. Gryphons are supposed to be guardians of treasure, so... ^_^)
(Kay: I didn't know that. I thought they just chomped stuff up.)
(Lauren: Lol that too! :D)
*Tifanel manages to get his sword totally out of the Gryphon's grasp. It consequently becomes quite angry and rears back, roaring like a lion.*
Tifanel: I don't think it really matters right now!
(Kay: Ares: Stab it, Tif!)
(Lauren: Kitzie: Go for the jugular! Stab! Maim! Disembowel! I'm not seeing any blood!)
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Laurenza: *Seems a little confused.* But Kuja, I thought your father was...
Kuja: *Nonchalantly.* Dead? Oh, as a doornail, yes. This isn't my real father.
(Lauren: Kuja, ever the one to speak with delicacy.)
Thorn: But its nice to have someone be a replacement, right?
(Kay: Lahrne: ANYONE would be better than you, Thorn.)
Triironhn: Let's go then.
(Kay: ^Thorn. Uh, that's perhaps the best Thorn name typos yet.)
(Lauren: Lmao that's one for the books.)
Ares: What kind of stuff have you been doing?
(Kay: Heather: Oh you know, the usual - kinky sex, wine tasting, sky diving…)
(Lauren: Lol I was thinking something naughty too.)
Trohn: Let's go check out that tree, then.
(Kay: ^Thorn.)
(Lauren: Poor Thorn needs to have a less easy to typo name, lol.)
(Kay: He does, though the one from earlier easily takes the biscuit.)
Red: Wait a minute. I'm not sure I want to take directions off a disembodied voice.
Thorn: God, that's true. We all know what happened last time one of those appeared.
(Kay: Lierlo: I SAID I WAS SORRY!)
Trhon: *Nods.* Sure will
(Kay: ^Thorn.)
(Lauren: Thorn: T_T)
(Kay: Sorry Thorn!)
(Laurenza: Between of the three of us, his name is the most frequently mistyped.)
*They step outside Cain and start sizing him up. Kuja and Alexander (now conscious) approach them, as Cain brings his head outside.*
Alexander: Your Highness!
Kuja: *Looks confused.* Um, what?
(Kay: Thorn: Their King is a naffing big tree, Kuja.)
(Lauren: Kuja: Oh. Keh.)
Chiara: I dunno, Tif always seems to carry loads of tools with him. He might have a couple of spades too.
(Kay: Kitzie: I'll help! *Is the spade for them.*)
(Lauren: Lol awww!)
Kuja: Oh, don't encourage him. He'll never shut up now.
Ares: How many legs? What kind of ears has it got? Does it have a tail?
(Kay: Ares: *Overloads Rin with questions.*)
(Rin: *Explodes.*)
Laurenza: Oh no, I don't think that window will hold out against them forever. We need to protect ourselves somehow.
Ares: What with?
Tifanel: Some kinda Magick might help.
(Lauren: Psst hey Thorn. Your Exudo spell might work a treat here.)
(Kay: Thorn: Go away. Sleeping.)
Kuja: Only one way to find out. *Starts charging a spell.* Burning rage rooted in the fiery depths of my soul...
Cain: *Shoves him with a tendril.* You are not lighting a fire inside me!
(Kay: Thorn: He's a grass type, stupid, he's weak to fire!)
(Lauren: Kuja: I knew I shouldn't have bought you Pokémon for Christmas!)
(Kay: Thorn: But it's so fun! T_T)
(Lauren: Aww.)
(Kay: The worst thing is I can totally see Thorn playing Pokeymons, too.)
(Lauren: Aww that's cute.)
Tifanel: It's so weird in here. Kinda like a labyrinth and not very tree-like...
(Kay: Red: More like a TARDIS.)
Red: Oh, and here was me thinking they were related to Larzel.
(Kay: You can cut that line if you want, I don't think red even met Larxel.)
(Kay: ...Who is now a member of Organisation XIII…)
(Lauren: Lol yes. She didn't, so I could reassign the dialogue to Thorn if you like.)
(Kay: It works!)
Kuja: Heheh, so don't anyone sneeze.
Ares: Or at least not on those things.
(Kay: Rin: Ah phooey, I've seen scarier things in a toilet. Why, once there was this one time, I saw a terrifying Googleplex in the unisex toilet at a rest stop on Globulon seven…)
(Kay: Renza: And this is why I don't let you write Rin's lines.)
(Lauren: Rofl.)
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Kuja: For crying out loud! Just how are we supposed to kill them? They aren't afraid of anything we can throw at them because they can just use it against us!
(Kay: Thorn: We could eat them. That might work.)
(Lauren: Kuja: I told you to make a sandwich BEFORE we left.)
(Kay: Thorn: But I wasn't hungry then!)
(Lauren: Aww diddums.)
Lierlo: *Looks like he's had a brilliant idea.* That's it! That's how we can beat them...!
(Kay: Thorn: Eat them?)
Apathy: You're not seeing what he's trying to say. The Ethaw bat's only desire is to exist. They dislike the empty Void of nothingness they live in and scour it for any matter to make them more real. They are afraid of being nothing!
(Kay: Thorn: Explain it with an analogy. Use Mars bars.)
(Lauren: Lol whut?)
(Kay: My maths teacher used to explain fractions to me using the analogy of cutting up Mars bars. ^_^;)
(Lauren: I see…)
(Kay: This... was in primary school.)
Lierlo: Are you familiar with a spell called a Fear Shadow?
(Kay: Thorn: Lol whut?)
(Lauren: Lierlo: Mars bars.)
(Kay: Thorn: Yum.)
(Lauren: Kuja: Again with the 'I told you to eat before you came out'!)
(Kay: Thorn: Sorry mummy.)
Apathy: It is a spell that shows the victim the thing they are most afraid of.
(Kay: Chi: SCAAAAAAAARY! *Clings to Tif. Tif gets hit by Rin.*)
*They sit back inside Cain and he begins the spell. Alexander wraps his tendrils protectively around Kuja. The whole area is plunged into complete darkness, so much so they cannot even see their hands in front of their faces. Gradually, they begin to see Chiara singled out in front of them.*
(Kay: Thorn: HEY HE'S MINE HANDS OFF YOU!)
(Lauren: Alexander: ...I'm his father, you buffoon. ...Sort of.)
Kuja: I don't care. I can't stand watching Thorn be tormented like this... and I'm also not too comfortable with seeing my own dead body. *He rushes to Thorn and holds him close.* Thorn, it's okay...
(Kay: Thorn: WTF I THORT YOU WAS DEAD.)
*A scene begins to appear before him, but it is one of total destruction. Houses are ruined, trees are burning and people are slaughtered.*
Kuja: What the...?
(Kay: Kuja: Lol oops was that me?)
Mihako: Why did you hate me? Why did you seal me away? I am practically dead and yet you still do not care!
Lierlo: I'm sorry...
(Kay: Kuja: Don't feel too bad. I hate you too. ^_^)
(Lauren: Lol awwww, not true!)
Mihako: You have done nothing to find a way to bring me back. Nothing!
Lierlo: I'm so sorry...! *Breaks down crying.*
Ares: Poor Lierlo.
(Kay: Mihako: You mean 'poor Mihako!')
(Lauren: Ares: Nah.)
(Kay: Lol.)
(Lauren: Don't forget you have Thorn, the world's strongest man. And uhh, long time friend of Lierlo. He might have some encouraging words.)
(Kay: Ooh yes, like 'throw a brick at her!' and 'don't forget the awesome sex you had with Apathy! I could hear you, it must've been good!')
(Lauren: Lmao, maybe not those words.)
Red: I reckon so. Even so, that's a damn big snake.
(Kay: Tif: I always wanted to hear Red say that to me.)
(Lauren: Chi: *Angry face.*)
(Kay: Bwahaha.)
Ares: If it is, I kind of don't want to think about it. All the poor people that might've been on it...
Red: Don't feel too bad. Those people have probably been dead for a while.
(Lauren: Oh Red, you're so wonderfully heartless! ^_^)
(Kay: Red: why thank you ^_^)
*Alexander, Kuja and Tifanel go to examine The Destiny's engines whilst the others go back inside.*
(Kay: Thorn: I'd be enjoying the journey more if we'd packed a lunch...)
(Lauren: Kuja: ...)
(Kay: Thorn: What? WHAT?)
(Kuja: *Sighs and hands him a Yorkie.)
(Kay: Thorn: Ooh, manly *SNARF!*)
Chiara: *Goes to Cain.* Hey Mr. Treeman, are you okay? You don't look so good.
Cain: *Has lost a lot of leaves and is wounded in many places because of the bats. He is also breathing very heavily.* I'm hurt and I'm tired... I'm desperate for food and water...
Ares: What do you eat?
(Kay: Cain: PEOPLES!)
(Lauren: Cain: *Snarfs Ares*)
(Kay: Everyone: Hooray...?)
Ares: You can't eat Rin!
(Kay: Rin: I wish you would, my dear.)
(Lauren: Lol oh yes.)
Laurenza: Now what are those?
Lierlo: Judging by the fact Cain is trying to eat Rin...
Apathy: ...I'd say they're his enzymes...
(Kay: Ares: I don't want to save Rin bad enough to go near them.)
(Lauren: Rin: T_T)
(Kay: Ares: What? You'd only say 'the lady does love me!' if I did.)
(Lauren: Lol, it's true.)
Red: Let's try not to think about eating, shall we?
(Kay: Thorn: I'm trying!)
(Lauren: Kuja: You just had a Yorkie.)
(Kay: Thorn: Shhh, Kay's trying to make a running joke.)
Thorn: Do you think they need a hand?
(Kay: Thorn: From the strongest man in the world?)
*The ship latches onto the other side of the debris with claw-like pincers. A hatch opens and a small group of people look out. Each are dressed wildly differently, with clothes from varying times and cultures, but are unified by the same gas mask-like device they are all wearing.*
(Kay: Most travellers approach and ask for directions. These guys'll come over and ask if you're their mummy.)
(Lauren: Roflmao. Gas mask-like. Not actual gas masks!)
(Kay: I know, I just couldn't resist making that comment.)
Kuja: *Steps outside.* Excuse me, are you by any chance trying to cannibalise my ship?
(Lauren: Stranger: Yum yum.)
(Kay: Sometimes I think you can read my mind. I was thinking something like that.)
Young Man: At one point we might have said that, yeah, but a better description would be that we live here.
(Kay: Thorn: But what do you eat? And when you go to the toilet, where does it go?)
(Lauren: Lol aww.)
(Kay: Woman: What do we eat? Well, put it this way. There used to be fifteen of us.)
(Lauren: Lol no.)
Older Man: Well, like the young man suggested, we started out being stuck here. We each fell out of time on way or another and ended up here. We banded together to try and find a means of escape, but in the end we just decided to stay here.
(Lauren: Thorn: Lol he called me a 'young man.')
(Kay: Thorn: I'm probably much older than him.)
CHAPTER
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Ares: Maybe we should go shopping.
(Kay: Red: maybe your MUM should go shopping.)
Lauren: Lol, real mature, Red, real mature.)
(Kay: Renza: Real mature, Kay, real mature.)
(Lauren: Lol awww.)
Tifanel: What? *Looks a bit annoyed.* Why is this sorta thing always my responsibility? What ever happened to the chores rota we were supposed to have?
(Lauren: Thorn: *Burps.*)
(Kay: Lmao aww.)
(Lauren: The freezer is empty, so he got hungry and ate the rota, lol.)
(Kay: Lol, it works.)
(Kay: Thorn: It wasn't very good. Too much mayo.)
Tifanel: *Isn't pacified by that.* Nah, ya know what I think it was? It's 'cos you guys were all couples. 'Oh Tif, he's a single loser, so he ain't got nothin' better to do than cook and clean for us.'
Laurenza: No Tif, that wasn't it...
(Kay: Red: What, you mean you don't LIKE doing those things? Well bugger me!)
(Lauren: Laurenza: Sure! *Straps it on.*)
Lahrne: Heh heh yeah, Dai's our bitch-slave!
Kitzie: *Gasps.* Lahrney said a bad word!
(Kay: Red: Awesome. Let's celebrate.)
(Lauren: No, Thorn should wash out his son's potty mouth with soap and water!)
Chiara: Um... I could try reading the cards. They might reveal some stuff about the future... in easier to understand words than the prophecy.
Lierlo: And I suppose Apathy and I could commune with the spirits of forest and flame. They might have foreseen something.
(Kay: Thorn: I'll try scrying in some custard or something.)
Daimonion: I've been in your dreams. I've seen what haunts your unwaking moments. What is it you're hiding behind those amber frames of yours?
Rin: You can… spy on my dreams?
(Kay: Dai: Mayyyybe…)
(Lauren: Dai: And what I see is DIRTY!)
Kuja: The prophecy is written in verse. I'm fairly certain it's not meant to be taken literally.
Thorn: True, true.
(Lauren: Kuja: It's not meant to be taken orally either.)
(Kay: Thorn: *Spits out screwed up paper.* But I'm hungry! Dai's taking AGES bringing the dinner!)
Tifanel: Don't worry, Rin, you can have some of my food. *Shares his dinner with Rin.*
(Lauren: Aw, like a good best friend should.)
(Kay: Naww and because he doesn't want any more of Rin's smacky wrath.)
(Lauren: Lol Rin would smack Tif 'cos Dai didn't bring him food?)
(Kay: No, but it might prevent Rin's smacky wrath in the future!)
Jadarthfeyr: *Sighs.* I am sorry to interrupt you at a mealtime, Lierlo, but I am afraid I have some bad news...
(Lauren: …You're in space!)
(Kay: Lmao.)
(Kay: Lierlo: Me in space? But that unpossible!)
Jadarthfeyr: I am afraid it is your sister, Lierlo. She has been... attacked.
(Kay: Thorn: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
Thorn: Hi, Roreille.
(Lauren: Roreille: Thorn, you came! *Passionate sex.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Yes, Yes I did.)
(Kay: Kuja: 'Twas the passionate sexing that did it.)
Roreille: Oh hello, Lierlo and friends. I am glad you came.
(Lauren: Roreille always, always, always refers to the gang as the collective 'Lierloandfriends.')
Red: Rin, please, this is hardly the time or place.
(Kay: Red: It's NEVER the time or place, you leech!)
(Lauren: Rin: Slurp slurp?)
Chiara: Lolo, just remember to be careful. It wouldn't be fun if you got attacked too!
Roreille: *Smiles knowingly.* I do not think he has to worry about that.
Red: Exactly.
Chiara: Why? Why? Does he have amazing kung fu skills or something?
(Lauren: Lierlo: Oh yes. I'm a 4th dan in karate. *Chops Chi.*)
Roreille: Yes. I know it seems extreme, but it was the only way to get Lierlo into the council. He is truly the best person for the job, but the Elders would just not accept that. *Looks down.* I suppose I did not help matters by getting them to agree in the first place, then changing my mind…
(Kay: Thorn: You crazy woman! But I still love you! ^_^)
(Lauren: Roreille: And I you, Thorn *has his babies.*)
(Kay: Kuja: *Jealous.*
Thorn: You're popular today, Roreille.
(Kay: Roreille: If I'd've known I'd get this much attention, I'd've attacked myself sooner!)
Nathaniel: What is this? I knew Siun D'lor quite well... *Firmly.* And I knew he had only one son.
Kuja: Well, it seems you knew wrong.
Red: Looks that way.
(Kay: Red: Did you know him well enough to know of his gay affairs?)
(Lauren: Nat: Oh, there was not a soul on the council that didn't know about them.)
(Kay: Mostly 'cos they were involved, I should imagine.)
(Lauren: Lol yes!)
Tifanel: What're they feudin' about?
Red: It's probably something ridiculous, like who did or didn't clean the toilet.
(Lauren: *Everyone looks at Tif for some reason.*)
Kuja: Nathaniel and Siun... Kindred spirits, eh? Oh, excuse the pun.
Red: That was bad, Kuja.
(Lauren: Kuja: *Kills himself.*)
(Kay: Red: Aye, you should be pun-ished.)
Laurenza: *Nods.* Oh well, if they both refuse to corroborate their stories, I guess we won't ever know the truth. *Is quiet for a moment.* I wonder how Lierlo and Apathy are getting on.
Red: I hope they're doing okay.
(Kay: *Cut to scene of Apathy and Lierlo running down a darkened corridor, firing lasers at a huge slime monster that's chasing them.*)
(Lauren: Lmao. Slime monster = Nat?)
(Kay: Sure, why not?)
*A few days pass without event. Lierlo and Apathy spent nearly all of their time in the Spirit World, managing the Spirit affairs. He visits from time to time, keeping everyone updated. It seems Nathaniel is still suspicious of Apathy. We rejoin the action one day with Thorn, Kuja, Laurenza, Red and Tifanel playing a game of Trivial Pursuit together.*
(Lauren: The board games return!)
(Kay: Huzzah!)
Tifanel: I hate this game. I never know any of the answers.
(Kay: Kuja: Oh, surprise.)
CHAPTER
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*The castle door opens and Mihako strolls in. Her face is completely devoid of any emotion.*
Rin: Arrrgh! It's the ghost or possibly zombie!
(Kay: Thorn: Oh noes, Mihako!)
(Kay: Red: I'm not even going to ASK why you were in the crypt…)
(Lauren: Mihako: Lol hai guyz.)
(Lauren: Rin: I lost my glasses...)
(Red: Lolz, sure…)
Red: Oh, I bet Lierlo will be happy to see her.
(Kay: Red: You know. like... NOT.)
Laurenza: I think we should call him right away.
(Lauren: Laurenza: I hope he's not too busy pulling a late nighter.)
(Lauren: *Cut to a scene of Lolo, Jad and Nat playing Trivial Pursuit.*)
*They contact Lierlo and he comes to the castle immediately. They all study Mihako, who is very quiet and looks oddly vacant.*
(Kay: Red: *Pokes Mihako*)
(Lauren: *Fall. Smash.*)
Thorn: It's hard to tell. *Waves his hand in front of Mihako's face.*
(Kay: *She bites his hand off.*)
Red: Don't stay up too late. Sleep is good for you.
(Kay: Red: Mihako's probably had enough to be the healthiest person in the castle.)
*The two of them head to Lierlo's room, where Kitzie was sleeping that night. They find Mihako stood outside her door, holding a vase.*
(Kay: Thorn: Let's just lock her in the cupboard under the stairs for the night, that'll sort her out)
(Kay: Kuja: What do you think she is, Harry Potter?)
Kuja: Thorn, I think it would be best if we put a sleep spell on Mihako for the rest of the night. Would you do the honours?
(Kay: Thorn: And what if I said no?)
(Lauren: Kuja: I would be forced to kill you.)
(Kay: Thorn: Can we have hot sex and THEN you kill me?)
(Lauren: Kuja: Mmmkay.)
(Kay: Thorn: SWEET!)
*The gang gradually disperse, going off to do various things. Kuja takes Mihako with him. Rin settles down in the chair and dozes off after a while.*
(Lauren: Tif: *Comes back in and slips Rin's hand into a glass of warm water.*)
(Kay: Lol, oh that's cruel.)
*Rin is woken by the sound of the gang back in the TV chamber again. They are watching some documentary. He yawns and adjusts his glasses. After a moment or so, Nathaniel Bancroft appears in the room.*
Thorn: Oh, hello again.
Laurenza: Mr. Bancroft? What are you doing here?
(Lauren: Rin: Well, I sort of live here.)
(Lauren: Laurenza: Not you, you ninny.)
Thorn: If you're going to be like that, we suggest you should leave.
(Kay: Thorn: 'Cos you're a big mean skunk pants and we don't like you!)
(Lauren: Lol, skunk pants?)
Jadarthfeyr: Yes. *Cheerily.* They say you are a raging nymphomaniac.
Nathaniel: *Is completely unfazed.* That is nice.
(Kay: I love Jad. He's so awesome.)
(Lauren: I love him too. The fact that he's KNITTING now and admitting he reads women's gossip magazines is pretty priceless.)
(Kay: It is! ^_^ And I loved when he said 'everyone is still sleeping with everyone else.')
(Lauren: It's true. The high society in the Spirit World puts on such a front, but it's really rife with corruption and scandals and all sorts.)
(Kay: Aren't all organisations like that? Lol.)
Female Voice: What happened? What happened?
Female Voice 2: Is he okay?
Male Voice: Did he jump again?
Male Voice 2: Everyone, just calm down. We'll find out how it happened when he wakes up.
(Lauren: A fun game to play when this is published might be 'guess who was talking in the hospital'.)
(Kay: Thorn, Thorn, Rin and Red.)
(Lauren: Lol, what?)
Kuja: *Grits his teeth and pulls clumps of grass out of the ground, probably to stop himself from beating Thorn up.*
(Lauren: Thorn: What did I do? T_T)
(Kay: Thorn: T__T)
(Kay: Red: *Kicks Thorn.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Ouch)
(Lauren: Awww that was uncalled for.)
Lierlo: *Reappears in a flurry of leaves behind her. He reclaims his rapier and stabs her in the back.*
(Kay: Mihako: Well, this sucks.)
(Lauren: Lol, just a bit.)
*They head after Lierlo through the portal and arrive somewhere in the Spirit World. Lierlo is attacking Nathaniel by throwing thorns at him. Nathaniel is reflecting them with a Magickal barrier.*
(Lauren: Lol, throwing Thorns.)
(Kay: Thorn: Wahhh!)
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*Meanwhile, back at the castle. A day or so has passed since the incident with Mihako. Unexpectedly, Kuja seems to have taken her death a little hard. Lierlo is still in hospital. Chiara, Rin, Ares and Thorn are sat together in the TV Chamber, thinking about Lierlo.*
(Lauren: I mistyped 'Rin' as 'Tin' the first time.)
Chiara: About how me, Ares and you, daddy, joined this little gang really late on. Everyone else knew each other for ages before, but we had to take in a lot of stuff, a lot of weird stuff, which was never explained to us. I always thought Lierlo and Apathy were twin brothers, then they go and hold hands and kiss and stuff…
(Kay: Thorn: *Gives Ares a look.*)
(Kay: Ares: so I possessed you and went crazy. Shut up.)
*Kuja has a strange look in his eyes. He picks up one of the books, titled 'Regaining Lost Personalities,' and starts tearing the pages out in a frenzy.*
(Kay: Thorn: Oo-kay you've gone nuts.)
Thorn: I'm going, I'm going. *Leaves quickly.*
(Kay: I had to resist putting 'buggers off sharpish.')
Thorn: Even still, we ought to get the door.
(Kay: Someone at the door? In the rain? Ominous.)
(Lauren: It's not Paige, though the circumstances are similar.)
(Kay: *Phew.* Lol.)
Tifanel: Evelyn! *Can't help himself. He leaps up and grabs her into a tight hug, despite her being soaking wet.*
Evelyn: *Hugs him back for quite a while.* Hi Tif.
*Chiara looks rather worried by this sudden turn of events.*
(Lauren: Chi: SEEEEETHE.)
(Kay: Lol SEEEEEEETHE.)
Evelyn: You left your address with me and said I could come and see you if I was ever in trouble.
Ares: Did something happen…?
(Kay: Evelyn: Yes, Interrupter Jones.)
Evelyn: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. You just…. You just don't touch a girl there, okay?
**Flashback over.**
(Kay: Tif: :O Tits! *Grab!*)
(Lauren: Tif: I didn't know what they were!)
(Kay: Tif: But I soon learned the joy of jubblies!)
Laurenza: Oh Lierlo, we don't think you're crazy, just… not well.
Thorn: We just want to help you.
(Kay: Red: And if that means putting you in an asylum, so be it. *Sweet smile.*)
Thorn: I guess so. Is there anything we can do to help him?
(Kay: Thorn: Roreille, dear, apple of my eye?)
(Roreille: Yes, Thorn my one true love?)
Kuja: I know you don't want to talk about them, but could you please tell us a little more about the people that destroyed your world? Can you describe them at all?
Cain: *Looks a little annoyed.* Their appearance varies. Recognising them as what they are is down to a… feeling, an instinctual reaction, more than using their appearance as judge.
(Kay: Red: Yeah, that doesn't help.)
(Lauren: Lol, not at all.)
Cain: I'm sorry, we have our customs and I'd like you to respect that.
(Kay: Thorn: well, you leave us no choice.)
(Kay: *The gang are suddenly kitted out ninja style and they kick Cain's ass.*)
(Lauren: Lmao wow.)
(Kay: But like REAL NINJA style, none of this yelling and magic and wearing orange nonsense.)
(Lauren: Yay!)
Cain: There were flashes of light and rumbling sounds, graduating into loud booms. It was like…
(Lauren: …A storm!)
(Kay: Lol, or an orchestra falling down the stairs in a firework factory.)
(Lauren: Lol yes… I can't fault that, but it's like a storm. That's what the gang are supposed to think.)
Tifanel: So just… Don't get your knickers in a twist over this, Chi. It's you I'm with now. Anyway, she won't be here long.
Chiara: *Nods.* Okay. *Hugs Tifanel.*
(Kay: *Sniggers at 'Don't get your knickers in a twist.')
(Kay: Tif: Though I wouldn't mind if you took them off! ;) )
(Lauren: Lol cheeky.)
Kuja: her. *Shoves Rin aside.* Get out of my way, I like to pretend I'm a doctor. *Examines Chiara.* This is quite a deep wound.
(Kay: Lmao. I bet that would be wonderful to quote out of context.)
(Lauren: Lol yes.)
(Kay: I think I might sometime.)
(Lauren: I'm glad it amused you. Kuja never knows when its NOT a good time to make jokes, lol.)
(Kay: But that's why we love him! <3)
Red: That's perhaps a little obvious, Kuja.
Kuja: Thank you for your thoughts, Red, but how about you redirect some of that energy used to make snide comments to fetching me some bandages and water?
(Lauren: Kuja: I believe you've met your match in cynicism, Red. Zing)
(Kay: Red: Shut up. Fetching things would make too much sense.)
Laurenza: Well, let me try mine. *Crouches by Chiara and holds her hands over her.* Regenerative forces that dwell in the white realms above, I beseech you. Restore my ally with your blessed light! Healing Aura! *Tiny white lights, like shining fireflies, circle Chiara and stem her bleeding.*
(Lauren: I should think Renz has decent healing Magick, as holy is her element. :P)
(Kay: Heheh yes.)
(Lauren: And I rather like Dr. Greyfare. *Imagines Kuja in a cheesy medical romance drama/soap.*)
(Kay: But because it's a cheesy medical romance, Thorn is suddenly a busty woman.)
(Lauren: Lmao a busty woman nurse.)
(Kay: Yep! And Tif can be the janitor.)
Evelyn: Tif? I'm also sorry for what I did to you. I guess it was really selfish...
Tifanel: Ya think? I don't think I can ever look at you in the same way again.
(Kay: Thorn: *Fondly thinks of the happy-happy-knifey incident.*)
(Lauren: Kuja: ...)
Evelyn: *Looks at him sadly for a moment, then leaves.*
(Lauren: Eve: *Gets hit with the door as she goes out.*)
CHAPTER
154 
Kuja: Well, quite a lot has been going on lately, Mihako. *He laughs a little.* But that's the same as always, isn't it?
(Lauren: I'd quite like Thorn to come and find him ^_^)
(Kay: Thorn: *Busts in from behind a tree, wrestling with a snake and chopping down trees with the ManusBlade.* AH HA! I HAVE FOUND YOU!)
Kuja: I hope so. I shouldn't brood over it too much, I suppose. You can't change the past, so I'll just add it to my ever-growing list of regrets.
(Kay: Thorn: Man, that's a depressing thought. Lighten up, jeez.)
(Lauren: Kuja: You lighten up! *Sets him on fire.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Not what I meant…!)
Alexander: Kuja's mother and I... We're having a baby!
(Kay: Kuja: Wtfomg no! My parents still HAVE THE SEX??)
Alexander: Thank you! Heather's so happy about it, which is rather good. I've been in the doghouse for a while for eating the faces off her koi carp... *Looks a bit embarrassed.*
(Kay: Hahah, awww.)
(Lauren: Alex: Om nom nom. *Gets fins.*)
(Kay: Heather: OMG! WTF ARE YOU DOING?)
(Lauren: Lol just like that.)
Kuja: *Suddenly looks very disturbed.* Thorn, use your Dark Angel powers. Can you feel what I'm feeling?
(Kay: Thorn: I think so, Kuja, but where are we going to get that much cheese in such a short time?)
(Kay: [/Pinky and the Brain moment])
Thorn: *Nods and addresses Cain.* You wanted to talk to us?
(Kay: Thorn: Mr. Pointy-Tree-Friend-Man?)
(Lauren: Lol aww that's cute.)
Cain: I couldn't see who it was, as you were all deep inside me, but I definitely felt suspicious of one of you. I don't mean to worry you, but my instincts tell me one of your friends may be plotting against you...
(Kay: Ares: Don't look at me! I'm over that!)
Kuja: *Watches Lahrne for a moment, but decides the news is more important than asking him what he's doing.* Cain thinks one of us can't be trusted.
Ares: What?
(Kay: Red: He's probably wrong. He's a man.)
(Kay: Cain: Ironic. I'm a tree.)
Kuja: So all of us that were there on the trip through the Void need to go and see him tomorrow, so he can remember who it was he felt suspicious of.
Red: That's almost everyone, I think.
(Kay: Red: Almost a pity Dai didn't come with us. If anyone were plotting our downfall, it would be him.)
Lahrne: I'm trying to get ready for my Time Magick test. Lyrian's coming to test me to make sure I've been practicing... *Looks guilty.* ...And I haven't...
Thorn: Oh, I see.
(Kay: Thorn: Well, you're gonna fail. Lol.)
Ares: Maybe we could help you?
(Kay: Red: No, its a test. That would be cheating. It's his own fault, because he's male. I mean, because he didn't practice.)
(Lauren: Shush! Lol.)
Kuja: Tifanel, just because you'll never, ever have sex it doesn't mean everyone else is a virginal loser.
Red: That was a little below the belt, don't you think?
Tifanel: Yeah... You're a bastard, Kuja. You don't know anythin'.
(Lauren: Tif: I'll have ya know I screwed Chi the other night.)
(Kay: Ares: We know. We heard.)
(Lauren: *RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.*)
(Kay: Why do I get the impression Chi is either noisy or a screamer in bed...?)
(Lauren: Because she's noisy all the time, so why would her sex be any different? Lol.)
(Kay: Hahah, good call.)
(Lauren: At the end of the last chapter, Tif and Chi slept together for the first time, so who knows? Maybe magic did happen. ;))
(Kay: Zing!)
*They go to Rin's room and knock on the door. There's no answer, so Chiara just barges in.*
Rin: My, that wasn't very polite.
Chiara: But we wanted to come and comfort you!
Red: That and you didn't answer the door.
(Kay: Rin: I might've been naked! A plus for you lovely ladies, but I might've been a tad startled.)
Rin: *Smiles a little.* This is all very thoughtful of you all. *Unusually, he doesn't make a flirtatious comment to Ares.*
(Lauren: Ares: *Stands there waiting for it. Is a little surprised when it doesn't come so she checks Rin's pulse.*)
Chiara: They're right, daddy. You just haven't found the right woman yet! …Or man!
(Lauren: You: *Goes mad on slash.*)
(Kay: Rin and Tif: *Nod sagely.*
Rin: ...I don't believe that's really the problem.
(Lauren: Rin: Because I'm not a homosexual!)
(Kay: Fangrils: LIES!)
(Lauren: Hahah, gotta have SOME straight characters. I know it's hard T_T)
(Kay: Lol I'm only kidding.)
Laurenza: Thorn once told me something when I was worried about Ana and me. He said parent and child bonds take time to form. Just spend time with Chiara, Rin, and give her a chance. I'm sure you'll come to love her.
(Lauren: Thorn: I said that? wow, that's some sage advice. Mm, sage. *Eats some turkey stuffing.*)
(Kay: Thorn: Yeah, what that guy who looks suspiciously like me said. ^_^)
(Lauren: Lol clonessss…)
(Kay: Imposter!Thorn...?)
(Lauren: Hollow!Thorn, Posi!Thorn, Nega!Thorn... I've had enough of those.)
(Kay: Me too.)
(Kay: Nega!Thorn: Aww, but I'm the fan favourite! *Nega!sulk.*)
(Lauren: Wow, that's one evil sulk.)
(Lauren: Hahah, I almost typed 'that's one evil soak'. Evil bath??)
(Kay: Nega!Thorn: Yeah, I take those, too. I bathe in black bubbles and wash myself with the blood of my enemies. That's actually why I have red hair.)
(Lauren: Lol eurgh! O_O)
Thorn: I'll help you if you want, Tif.
(Kay: He IS the strongest man in the world…)
Daimonion: *Without looking up from his cleaning.* I'd say if you want to know something about a plant, you should ask the experts.
Ares: Experts?
(Kay: Thorn: It's a pity Cain isn't a horse. I bet Lierlo has a book about them. *Thinks of Falos.*)
Rin: So you believe these Ylcian people might have some medicine for a suffering Demon tree?
Daimonion: It's not impossible.
Ares: It's worth a try.
(Kay: Red: To the PurpleMobile, away!)
(Lauren: Lol, hold your horses.)
(Kay: Falos: With pleasure! ^__^)
Rin: Then I suppose that's quite kind of you, Daimonion. I appreciate your concern for me.
Daimonion: *Gives him a wry, mysterious smile.* Who said anything about doing this for you? I'm keeping quiet for my own sake. *Throws the duster at Rin before vanishing from the room.*
Rin: *Screws the duster up, looking confused by Daimonion's words.* How puzzling…
(Kay: Oh that Dai. He's like a puzzle sometimes. And that Rin is a like a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a puzzle covered in chocolate.)
(Lauren: Lol that sounds mysteriously edible.)
(Kay: It does. Mm.)
*Rin joins the others (Red, Ares, Laurenza, Kuja and Kitzie) on The Destiny and Kuja sets the course for Ozoma.*
(Kay: *Whoosh! PurpleMobile, AWAY!*)
(Lauren: Hahah yes. Is that your new name for it?)
(Kay: Yes!)
Red: I hope it isn't full of giant squids or nasties like that.
(Kay: Red: I don't want to do that again. *Le shudder.*)
(Lauren: Lol, again?)
(Kay: :D Implying a character has done something outrageous before is always funny.)
Red: You should. You two come up with the most outlandish things I've ever heard. Kids would love it.
(Kay: Translation: You guys talk crap. Kids love that.)
(Lauren: Lmao yes.)
Rin: Your words wound me, both of you. I haven't actually been to Ozoma, no, but I have heard of it at least. It's supposed to be a very lush planet full of natural beauty.
(Kay: Ares: It's a planet, not a woman.)
(Lauren: He means plants, you noob. :P)
(Kay: Lol I know, but he uses the same kind of words to describe the laydees.)
(Lauren: True…)
Red: Oh, I'm sure you'll find some girl who catches your eye.
Ares: You always do.
(Kay: Ares: And I wish you wouldn't, you sod!)
(Lauren: Rin: Because you're jealous...? *Looks hopeful.*)
(Kay: Ares: No, I mean you keep hitting on me and I don't appreciate it! *Hits him with a potted cactus.*)
(Lauren: Lol, ouch.)
(Kay: It's okay, she hit him with the pot, not the plant.)
(Lauren: Still...)
(Kay: Yeah, poor Rinrin. *Hugs him.*)
Rin: *Shakes his head and steadies The Destiny again.* I'm... sorry, I do believe I got a little carried away…
Kuja: *Rubs his backside.* You don't say.
Ares: Maybe you should give Kuja the controls back...
Rin: Yes, I think I will...
*Rin sits down again and Kuja takes the controls.*
(Lauren: Rin: Woohoo, adrenaline rush!)
(Kay: Rin, you're freakin' crazy and weird.)
(Lauren: I know, isn't it gweat? ^_^)
(Kay: Very yes.)
*The youth brings them to a village and removes the spell. This place more closely matches Rin's description of Ozoma than the battlefield did. It is a beautiful, lush place with many exotic plants. There isn't a road or a modern machine in sight. The buildings are all nestled high in the treetops, constructed out of natural materials and resembling beehives.*
(Kay: I misread that as 'anorexic plants.')
Kuja: It sounds like a helicopter.
Man: What's a 'helly… kopter?'
(Lauren: Aruun: They don't have helicopters on MY planet... trumble.)
(Kay: Well what DO they have, Ruunble Red?)
(Lauren: Lmao. 'Ruunble Red.')
Aruun: Nice to meet you all. *Looks at Kuja's wings, then at the rest of the gang.* Um, what happened to your antennae?
(Kay: Kuja: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, boy?)
Laurenza: *Quietly.* They would have some feathers on if you didn't keep pulling them off and eating them, Kuja.
Kuja: Oh shush.
(Lauren: Kuja: I cant help it! Damn Dark Angel influence making me grow feathers when they're so tasty! T_T)
(Kay: Red: We ought to put something on them so you won't want to eat them.)
(Lauren: Rin: *Offers some of that poison he dumped in Cain's lake for reasons unexplained.*)
(Kay: Red: Maybe not poison...)
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