CHAPTER 1
Kuja: *Shivers.* Beautiful clear skies for days and days whilst we were planning this excursion, but now the time has come for us to set out for Orca, it pours down with rain. Aren't we lucky?
Garin: Maybe the cold weather would not bother you so much if you were not so barely dressed, Kuja.
Kuja: *Scowls at Garin.*
(Anthony: Oooh, handbags at dawn!)

*We join our heroes at the beautiful crystalline palace, Castle Medra, in the world of Dalimoor. A few days have passed since their defeat on Orca. Laurenza is in the main chamber with Falos, whilst the other men have gone off to do whatever they please.*
(Lauren: And I do not mean that to sound kinky in any way.)

CHAPTER 2
Laurenza: Damn you, Levanté!
Thorn: *Still has his eyes closed.* He...isn't...there...
Laurenza: What? Where is he?
Thorn: It's a trick...He's closer than we want to think he is...
Laurenza: I don't like the sound of that...
(Anthony: Can he barge in now?)
(Lauren: Sure, as long as he has a barging in licence.)
(Lauren: Lev: That I do.)
(Lauren: Damn…)

*Thorn is gone. Only his clothes remain for Levanté to stab.*
(Lauren: Is Thorn running around nude?)

CHAPTER 3
Laurenza: *For the first time in a while, Laurenza feels not only warm and safe, but loved. She puts her arms around him and looks up at him.* I more than trust you...
Thorn: *Looks at her.*
(Anthony: What next?)
(Lauren: Well, it can go one of two ways.)
(Anthony: Yuh huh?)
(Lauren: It can go crazy erotic hentai kind of thing, or stay PG-13.)
(Anthony: Kuh! What a choice!)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Anthony: All right, all right, PG-13 it is.)
(Lauren: Please try and hide your disappointment.)
(Anthony: 'Kay.)

CHAPTER 9
Thorn: You really think you're gonna stop me by changing your clothes and drying your eyes?
Laurenza: Oh, I've done more than that, cher.
(Anthony: "Do you belieeeve in life after love…?")
(Lauren: Lol, it's French, numnut!)

CHAPTER 16
Tifanel: By your 'master,' you don't mean Lucifer, do ya?
Ares: Well, duh, duhbrain!
(Anthony: Lol, I just mistyped 'Ares' as 'arse.')
(Lauren: Lmao, very apt.)

*The raven lets out a huge bellow and Ares dies.*
(Lauren: Ding dong, the bitch has gone.)
(Anthony: Yes she has, but for how long...? *Rhyme not intentional.*)

CHAPTER 18
Kuja: *Looks very annoyed.* I'm not your father! How could I spawn an annoying little twerp like you?
(Anthony: 1. Hahaha, twerp. 2. Just for interest, what is Laurenza doing now? 3. Hahaha, twerp)
(Lauren: 1. First word that came into my mind. 2. Getting Kitzie some ice cream. 3. Lol.)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Why did you wanna know?)
(Anthony: I imagined her knitting.)
(Lauren: Lol she doesn't knit.)
(Anthony: I'm just crazy.)
(Lauren: Lol maybe Tifanel knits.)
(Anthony: Hahaha.)

CHAPTER 19
Thorn: It's all you need to say. Even though you don't need to say it. I don't deserve your apology... my Queen. *Thorn has taken his ring off and notices Laurenza's ring is missing from her finger.* Your ring...
Laurenza: Oh! *Looks guilty.* It... it came off...
Thorn: Oh…
(Anthony: If this was a game, there would be a 'show choice' here. 1. Put the ring back on and look like an idiot. 2. Burn the ring in a Satanic ritual. 3. Give the ring to someone. 4. Throw the ring at Laurenza.)
(Lauren: Lol, I don't think so.)
(Anthony: But which should Thorn do?)
(Lauren: 2, lmao.)
(Lauren: J/k.)
(Anthony: Heh heh heh.)
(Lauren: Isn't there an option 5?)
(Anthony: No, just 4.)
(Lauren: Give the ring to who?)
(Anthony: I dunno.)
(Lauren: 4 would be mean.)
(Anthony: Well, what should I do?)
(Lauren: I say 4.)
(Anthony: Hah hah hah hah.)

Thorn: Never thought I'd be asking for something from you, Ares. *He holds his hand up towards the sky and a rod of golden light starts to form in it. Slowly, the ManusBlade, a sword shaped like a hand with a thick handle, materialises in his hand. Thorn rushes toward the Chimera, fighting away its heads, trying desperately to get to the monster's body.*
(Lauren: *Makes inaudible grumblings.* Ares...)
(Anthony: Yeah, well, she's dead now.)
(Lauren: *Shrugs and makes inaudible grumblings anyway.*)

CHAPTER 24
Thorn: Can you not mention water? I kind of need to...
Mihako: I have been told that I should see Lierlo. I should find his whereabouts.
Thorn: He'll be around somewhere.
Mihako: *Goes off in a random direction, allowing Thorn to do his business.*
(Lauren: Heheheh.)
(Anthony: Giggling Gertrude.)
(Lauren: Chortling Charlie.)

CHAPTER 25
Yigo: Kuja...
Kuja: Yigo...
(Lauren: Mr. Anderson…)

Kuja: Hello! That whole super villain thing I did, it's like so 2 years ago. Listen, I may not be the definition of nice guy, but Lierlo is. He's so bloody nice sometimes I want to strangle him. He wouldn't do anything that'd hurt Mihako, and that's the honest truth.
(Anthony: Heh, 'super villain', you make him sound like Lex Luthor.)

CHAPTER 26
Adrienne: *Grabs Thorns arm.* I love my Sweet Cupcake Thorn.
Kuja: Where does she get those pet names?
Thorn: From recipe books, it sounds like.
(Lauren: Lol, her pet names are funny)
(Anthony: Yeah, I'm sure it won't be long before she's calling him 'noisettes of lamb in red wine, with a salad garnish.')
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Anthony: Maybe not.)

Adrienne: Listen up, gang. We're gonna bust into the secret base of the Cielnoir and rescue Ana. But if we're gonna do this, you'll have to go incognito. *Waves her hand and in a flash of lightning, they are all wearing Cielnoir pattern robes.*
Kuja: Definitely not my colour.
(Anthony: And Thorn gets withdrawal symptoms from the absence of black, and so does Harry Potter.)

*They arrive in a chamber in which they find Ana, sporting large black wings, engaged in conversation with Siun. Lierlo is stood nearby, looking slightly different. He is dressed in Cielnoir robes, the symbol on his forehead has changed colour and pattern and he has regrown his wings.*
(Anthony: HAHAHAHAHA Siun.)
(Lauren: The old goat!)

Siun: *Screams as the snakes squeeze the last flicker of life out of him.*
(Anthony: Blimey)
(Lauren: What?)
(Anthony: It turns out that not everybody loves Siun.)
(Lauren: Lmao. All the Siun fans will be very upset...)
(Anthony: Yes.)
(Lauren: Meh, I wanted to kill somebody. Might as well have been Siun.)

Ana: *Is hit by the spell and is not too pleased about it.* Enough! *The area darken and she forms a ball of dark energy in her hands. Lightning strikes around her, and the walls crack and fall to pieces. The ball of energy gets larger and larger until it is released, and it consumes the entire area and everyone in it, including the Spirit Beasts and Ana herself as well as the gang. The dust settles, and everyone is out cold (Thorn included, I think), with the exception of Adrienne who high-tailed it of the room at the last second.*
(Anthony: (Yup, he is.)
(Lauren: (Out cold?)
(Anthony: (No, he's gone skiing.)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Anthony: (No, he is out cold.)

Adrienne: All in a day's work for a Tonnerre sister. *Kisses him with great passion.*
Thorn: *Doesn't object.*
(Lauren: Oy oy.)
(Anthony: Well, you'd be like that if you'd been without it for that long.)
(Lauren: Hmm, but I'd rather not be kissed by Adrienne.)
(Anthony: Lol, yeah.)

CHAPTER 27
Adrienne: Hmm, I dunno. You'll probably like some of the things I find fun.
Thorn: I will?
Adrienne: Uh huh. But perhaps we should wait until later. *Winks.*
(Lauren: Adrienne, you kinky... slut... thing.)
(Anthony: Heh heh heh, kinky... slut... thing.)
(Lauren: Lol, I couldn't think of a better way of putting it...)

Thorn: Oh yeah, one more thing. If you want to stay here, I'd be more kind to Laurenza. I've not been here long and I don't think I have a say about who stays here and who doesn't.
(Anthony: Yeah, otherwise Kuja would have been gone looooong ago.)
(Lauren: *Makes almost inaudible grumblings and for some reason blames Ares.*)

*Her stuff is all set in place and it appears she has a very large collection of clothes, shoes and stuffed animals.*
(Anthony: Lol, I misread it, and it looked like it said 'stuffed shoes.'
(Lauren: Lol, what the hell would 'stuffed shoes' be?)

*Just then, there is a flash of light and Roreille appears.*
Adrienne: *Instinctively goes for her daggers strapped to her side.*
Roreille: Stop, Tonnerre. I have no quarrel with you. Sorry for intruding like this, but I came to see my brother.
(Anthony: Heh heh, it would be funny if she spoke Shakespearian.)
(Anthony: 'I have no quarrel with thee.')
(Lauren: Lol.)
(Anthony: Meh, just my crazy mind talkin'.)
(Lauren: It's ok, we love the crazy mind talkin'.)

Roreille: *Goes over to Lierlo's bed, removes the quilt and sits next to him.* Lierlo... Lierlo! How could you?! Our own father! *The spot on which Roreille is sat sets alight.* Aah! *She jumps off the bed.*
(Anthony: Hah hah, burnt botty.)

CHAPTER 28
Thorn: *Crouches down in front of Lierlo.* She's right, you know.
(Lauren: Lol!)
(Anthony: Oh yeah, now I see. Heh heh heh.)
(Lauren: Sorry, Chamer of Secrets is fresh in my mind.)
(Anthony: Yeah.)

Laurenza: I'll try talking to him. *Sits on his bed.* Lierlo, sweetheart? *Lifts the covers off him.* Please don't be upset like this. Everyone in this castle, with the possible exception of Ana, has killed someone sometime in their life. But we don't care; we can forgive them and put it behind us. Please try and forgive yourself... I know how you feel, because... *Whispers something into his ear.*
Lierlo: *His eyes widen.*
(Anthony: Hmmm... oh yeah, she killed her mummy + daddy, didn't she?)
(Lauren: Yeah, she kinda hinted at that earlier on in the scene if you haven't noticed.)
(Anthony: Heh heh heh, Azinder: Boo! Kill your parents! Laurenza: Ok.)
(Lauren: Lol. Not. How. It. Happened.)

Adrienne: How about this? *Copies Thorn's clothing.*
Thorn: *Laughs.* It kinda suits you...
Adrienne: I would make a few changes though, darling.* She flares her trousers, and her duster and trousers turn bright red.* This is more of my style.
Thorn: Hmm... Well, we better go down.
(Lauren: Not impressed?)
(Anthony: Well, she's kinda gonna look like a traffic cone, isn't she?)
(Lauren: Why?)
(Anthony: Bright red.)
(Lauren: Traffic cones are orange...)
(Anthony: Well... blah.)
(Lauren: Think about Auron's coat. That's red, and that's awesome.)
(Anthony: *Thinks about Auron's coat.* I guess you're right.)

Tifanel: *Is wearing an apron.* No one ever seems to have the eggs. I don't poison them...
(Anthony: Lmao, apron.)
(Lauren: *Grins.*)
(Anthony: But... he's... wearing... an... APRON!)
(Lauren: Lol, calm down.)
Thorn: So, you and Kuja are back together again, I presume?
Kuja: Something wrong with that? You seem to be getting along with Adrienne very nicely.
Thorn: There's nothing wrong with it, it's just... if you… If we start with different partners, don't you think its right we should get divorced legally?
(Lauren: I don't actually know what a divorce involves. Paper signing, most likely.)
(Anthony: Yeah, all legal and absolutely no square dancing.)

Thorn: He just needs time.
(Lauren: *Hands Lierlo a big box marked Time(c).*)

CHAPTER 29
Laurenza: I want you to change your attitude!
Kuja: What's wrong with my attitude?
Laurenza: Do you want the list of things that's wrong with it?!
(Lauren: Haha, Big K and Renzy fighting.)
(Anthony: *Imagines them sword fighting.*)
(Lauren: Lol, arguing would be a better word, then.)
(Anthony: Heh heh, yeah.)

Laurenza: What do you want? Why aren't you with Thorn?
Adrienne: Roreille wanted to talk with me, but I cant find her now.
(Anthony: The way she goes on anyone would think they were glued together.)
(Lauren: Lol. The way Adrienne acts anyone would think she wants to be glued to Thorn.)

Thorn: *Walks into the room.* Oh, did I interrupt something?
Kuja: No, but you missed Laurenza biting my head off.
(Anthony: Ew...)
(Lauren: Figure. Of. Speech.)
(Anthony: I know, I was just imagining it to be literal.)
(Lauren: Stop it. :P)

Thorn: *Shakes his head.* I was probably just imagining it.
Laurenza: I certainly hope so. I wouldn't like to step on the floor and find that it has teeth.
(Anthony: Geeya, neither would I.)

Laurenza: Ares!
Kuja: Little bitch!
Roreille: Not Ares...
Adrienne: Who?
(Anthony: Bwahahahah!)
(Lauren: What?)
(Anthony: It's just funny, everybody's wetting themselves cause Thorn said the 'A' word, and Adrienne's like 'who?')
(Lauren: Lol yeah.)

Laurenza: Do you like DIY stuff, Tifanel? You seem to do it an awful lot.
Tifanel: Well, there's always a busted door or a large hole to fix around here.
(Anthony: Heh heh. *Imagines a cheesy home-makeover show hosted by Tiffy.*)
(Lauren: Lol.)
(Anthony: Tif: ...And what I've done here is sealed a Cielnoir Demon in a parallel universe, using these old cushion covers and a tin of brown paint, and I think it works really really well…)

Thorn: It's good to see you smile.
Lierlo: It seems like a long time since I have. So, have I missed anything?
(Anthony: Is it just me, or is Thorn becoming too friendly?)
(Lauren: What are you implying?)
(Anthony: Nothing, it's just… Thorn... is being... nice...*Shudders.*)
(Lauren: Oh, I thought you meant... Thorn/Lierlo... *Watches as Thorn/Lierlo 'fics spread like wildfire all over fanfiction.net, especially with that scene where they hugged in the toilets…*)

Kuja: Oh, nothing much. Tifanel had his hair done, I found my missing sock, and oh, Ares came back.
Lierlo: She did?
Thorn: You found your missing sock?
(Anthony: It would be funny if they both said that at the same time.)

Thorn: You will come again?
Lierlo: Yes, of course.
Thorn: *Smiles.*
(Lauren: Thorn/Lierlo!!!!)
(Anthony: Whatever floats your boat.)
(Lauren: There's secret feelings hidden in their smiles.)
(Anthony: Whatever you say.)
(Lauren: Lol, I'm just being crazy.)

Kuja: *Mops up the tea.* There. Happy? *Throws the soggy cloth at Laurenza and storms out of the room.*
Laurenza: Grrr.
(Anthony: Tiger grr.)
(Lauren: No, an angry grr.)
(Anthony: Heh heh, I know. Heh heh, I can do a tiger grr, listen.)
(Lauren: ...)
(Anthony: Heh heh, maybe not)
(Lauren: Good lord, it's nearly 10 to 12.)
(Anthony: And?)
(Lauren: It's spooky how the time flies when one's having fun.)
(Anthony: Yes, it's one. Or... something.)
(Lauren: Sorry, I was quoting Lockhart.)
(Anthony: Oh yeah, of course. Heh heh, me dumb.)
(Lauren: No, me seen Chamer of Secrets 3 times now.. ^^; )

CHAPTER 30
Adrienne: That's a nice piece of silver you got there. Hey, this has got a Cielnoir crest on it. Lierlo, did your mother give you this?
Lierlo: I said before... I can't remember.
Adrienne: Well, judging by the crest I'd go with yes.
(Lauren: *Imagines evil toothpaste: Cielnoir Crest.*)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Turns your teeth black.)
(Anthony: Ew!)

Adrienne: Black sheep of the family?
Laurenza: You could say that.
Thorn: Black...
(Lauren: Sirius?)

Wolf: *Gives the drink to Kuja.* And what can I get for the young lady in your pocket, Tif?
Kitzie: *Pops out.* Hello!
Tifanel: Kitzie? How did you...?
Kuja: How did you manage to carry her around in your pocket without noticing?
Tifanel: I carry some very heavy stuff around with me. I thought she was a big wrench.
(Anthony: Ok...)
(Lauren: What?)
(Anthony: Well, wrenches are like that big and Kitzie's are like THAT big. How's he supposed to confuse the two?)
(Lauren: Not the brightest pickle in the jar, poor Tif.)
(Anthony: Lol.)

Kuja: Oh, what about the little one? Should we really leave her in there with them?
Thorn: I think... she can take care of herself, and besides, they'll need at least two to remind them where the castle is.
Kuja: Let's go, then.
(Lauren: Hahah, Li and Tif blind drunk needing Lierlo and Kitzie to direct them home.)
(Anthony: Heh heh, yeah. Kitzie: Not that way! *Splosh.*)
(Lauren: Lmao.)
(Anthony: Heh heh heh.)
(Lauren: Anyways... lets see what our lovely girls have purchased today.)
(Anthony: Sounds like a cheesy game show.)
(Lauren: Probably is.)

CHAPTER 31
Thorn: I'll be outside. I could do with... yeah. *Goes outside.*
(Lauren: He could do with going outside.)

Kuja: But maybe I'd lose the accent. Goodnight, Thorn. *Heads upstairs.*
Thorn: Goodnight.
(Lauren: Gahaha, I almost typed 'Thorjn.')
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: I should make a list of all the Thorn typos I've ever done.)
(Anthony: Heh heh, Thron.)

Adrienne: Did you hear that?
Thorn: Err... hear what?
Adrienne: That voice.
Thorn: I heard you...
(Lauren: Come... let me rip you... let me kill... you.)

*Thorn gets out of bed, put on some boxers and then goes out the door. The castle is very, very quiet and still. The only sound breaking the air is gentle snoring coming from Tifanel's room.*
(Lauren: Thorn in his kegs… *Whistles.*)
(Anthony: *Thorn looks Chibi-grumpy at you.*)
(Lauren: *Sweat drops anime-style.*)

Voice: Still under the delusion that you're good deep down, are we? There is darkness in your heart, no matter how much you try and ignore it or avoid it. It is always there.
(Lauren: Stealing Ansem's bit, there.)

Thorn: Pfft. *Goes back to bed.*
Adrienne: Thorny, did you find anything?
Thorn: Hmm? Err... no, nothing.
(Lauren: LIAR!)

CHAPTER 32
Thorn: Hmm... I see he hasn't put his spell on you then?
Kuja: What do you mean?
Thorn: Ahh, nothing. It's just… doesn't it seem a bit... Pied Piper of Hamlin to you? He comes, plays a song and now Tifanel and Laurenza are going around licking his shoes... Well, not literally.
(Lauren: Lol. *Imagines it literally.*)

Thorn: Or maybe... we're just jealous, because he's getting both our girlfriend's attention.
Kuja: No. There's definitely something sinister about him. When he gets back, let's give him the third degree. *Sits down.* I'm gonna wait here till they return.
(Lauren: Heheh, sinister)
(Anthony: You think there's something sinister about everything.)
(Lauren: Uh uh, not me, captain. It's Kuja who thinks it this time!)

Thorn: Well, that's convenient. My spell can only work at night.
Kuja: Gotta love coincidences.
Thorn: *Nods.*
(Lauren: Poor Thorn and Kuja'll be waiting for a long time.)
(Anthony: Why? She's only gone to show him around.)
(Lauren: Yeah, but what if they decide to go and do something else after?)
(Anthony: Well, you have your incredible skippy-time power.)
(Lauren: Lol, you make me sound like some kind of superhero. The Amazing Laurenza with her Incredible Skippy-Time Power!)

*Laurenza and Allen didn't return until the evening. By this time, Kuja is beyond angry. The castle doors open, and Allen and Laurenza walk in.*
Kuja: *In a fury.* Do you know what time it is? Where have you been?!
(Anthony: Lol Mrs. Weasley)
(Lauren: Exactly what I was thinking.)

Allen: *On the verge of tears.* I don't know! It's not finished... I'm not a very good Magickal Musician! *Breaks down crying, and hunches up against the wall, shaking and sobbing.*
Kuja: *Looks away.* Oh... maybe I went too far...
(Lauren: Aww.... they made him cwy...)
(Anthony: Yeah)
(Lauren: Kuja showing his old evil roots there)
(Anthony: Heh heh, roots)
(Lauren: He's a little scary...)
(Anthony: He's cool)
(Lauren: Really? Wow! Can I have that in writing? Wait...)

CHAPTER 33
Voice: You know very well what I mean. And you let poor Adrienne take the blame. How low… how vile. But how clever of you. You used her weapon, but you didn't leave your mark on it. That would give you away. Instead you chose to use Magick to control the dagger. Adrienne would take the bullet. Allen would be out of your way. No one would ever know the truth. The perfect crime.
Kuja: No...
(Anthony: I knew it!)
(Lauren: Well, I must say it was prrrretty obvious.)
(Anthony: Lol, Lockhart.)

Voice: What shall I do? Shall I tell them now and watch you take your punishment? Or toy with you a little more, hold my peace and watch you suffer...?
(Lauren: I hate this voice guy.)
(Anthony: Don't we all? It reminds me of a cross between Ares and Azinder.)
(Lauren: Well, he's neither. Argh! The forbidden lovechild of Ares and Azinder!)

Kuja: Show yourself! Stop hiding in the shadows!
Voice: You have too much on your mind right now. You wouldn't like me to show myself right now.
(Anthony: I bet he's got a wart or something.)
(Lauren: Lol, no. He's not scary or anything. But it would be a shock to see him.)
(Anthony: I bet it's someone who was in the RP before, but died.)
(Lauren: (No clues for you.)
(Anthony: (*Sad face.*)

Kuja: Go on then. Tell them. But are they going to believe you, just a creepy voice in the air?
(Lauren: Ooh, this is gonna be good.)
Voice: Oh, I'm sure they will believe me.
*The voice becomes visible, showing who they really are. Kuja stares, wide-eyed in disbelief.* (Lauren: *Dramatic pause. Are you ready?)
(Anthony: Oooh, tell me tell me tell me!!!)
*It's Lierlo.*
(Anthony: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!)
(Lauren: *Watches with a twisted glee the effect her words took on you.*
(Anthony: Bu...bu...but how?)
(Lauren: Patience, grasshopper.)
(Anthony: …)

Laurenza: I don't want to hear it! Not this time! No excuses, no apologies! Just GET OUT! Go on! GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!
(Anthony: Oh noo!)
*The others look shocked.*
Laurenza: *She looks to the others.* Go back to bed, I don't want you to see this.
*No one budges an inch.*
Laurenza: GO!
*They all go back to their rooms.*
(Anthony: Meanie Laurenza boo.)
(Lauren: No one argues with Laurenza on the warpath.)
(Anthony: I guess. Meanie Laurenza boo.)
(Lauren: Lol. But... but.. Kuja! He killed Allen and framed Adrienne!)
(Anthony: Well... I guess.)
(Lauren: Doesn't he get a meanie Kuja boo for that? Oh wait, he hasn't sent anyone to bed.)

TOP

CHAPTER 33
Ana: What I don't understand was why I missed him. He had killed Allen and framed someone else. It was a terrible thing for him to do, but I still loved him and wanted him to come back...
*She walks to Thorn's room and peeks inside. Thorn is still unconscious. She sighs, and continues walking. Along the way, she meets up with Lierlo.*
(Anthony: Why did she sigh? Does she want Thorn? Thorn's about as useful as a chocolate fireguard.)
(Lauren: Lmao. She wanted to talk to him.)

Lierlo: Thorn is still sleeping, I take it?
Ana: Uh huh.
Lierlo: Hope he's okay.
Ana: ...Hope dad's okay. *Goes downstairs to find her mother.*
(Lauren: Is Thorn ok?)
(Anthony: Yeah, he's just, as Laurenza (evil) would say, 'Magicked out.')
(Lauren: Are you going to add an (evil) tag every time she's mentioned?)
(Anthony: Maybe...)

Laurenza: Ana...
Ana: Mummy...
Laurenza: *Sits down.* Come here.
(Lauren: Naw.)
(Anthony: Yeah, but I wouldn't sit on someone's lap if they were that evil.)
(Lauren: Grrrargh! what would you have done in Laurenza's position?)
(Anthony: Well, I'm not as evil as her, so I wouldn't know.)
(Lauren: Kuja had been getting on her last nerve for quite a while. then came Allen, a perfectly nice guy who just wanted to be friends with Laurenza. Kuja gets jealous and his behaviour is quite ridiculous. He attacks Allen, then kills him, then pins the blame on Adrienne and then tells some crackpot story (she thought this) about Lierlo.)
(Anthony: Mmmmmwifaweh... I guess)
(Lauren: Now, she's not that evil, is she?)
(Anthony: I guess not)
(Lauren: Thank you.)

Ana: *Touches Laurenza's stomach, and then shrieks in surprise as her hand begins to fade. She quickly pulls it back again.* Ahh! Creepy...
Laurenza: What's wrong?
Ana: I... um… saw a spider.
(Lauren: I miss Thorn.)
(Anthony: Well, if someone visited his room and sat by his bed it would be a good time to wake up.)
(Lauren: Any preference on who?)
(Anthony: No, as long as it's not Laurenza or Lierlo.)
(Lauren: Darn, I was thinking of sending their forbidden lovechild, Laurerlo.)

Adrienne: Oh, honey... *She strokes his hair.* I've been neglecting you for the past couple of days, ever since Allen showed his stupid, cute face here... I'm sorry...
(Anthony: Heh heh, it'd be funny if she was stroking his hair, she looked at her hand and she'd pulled bits out.)

Thorn: I'm going to find him.
Adrienne: What do you care about him?
Thorn: It seems that I'm the only person here that does... except perhaps Ana... but I'm looking for him anyway.
(Lauren: Want a BIG HINT where he is?)
(Anthony: K.)
(Lauren: The inn/pub in Dalin.)
(Anthony: Heh heh, huge hint.)
(Lauren: Hagrid-sized hint.)

CHAPTER 36
*One thing leads to another and the two of them end up... well, doing that thing that usually follows foreplay.*
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: W00t! Thorn and Kuja did the rumpy bumpy!)
(Anthony: Lol again. The testicle tango.)

Thorn: We'd better get up and dressed. *Changes clothes.* The guys might be looking for us.
(Lauren: Mrs. Weasely: Where have you been?!)

Kuja: *Unlocks his door.* Now get out of my room before the neighbours see. *Grins.*
Thorn: *Leaves.*
(Lauren: *Breathes a heavy sigh.* It's over)
(Anthony: Yeah, now all Kuja has to do is clear the spunk off the sheets before anybody notices.)

CHAPTER 38
Cassandra: My mystic quest is not a game! It's your turn to be examined.
Kuja: *Gives her an odd look.* I don't want to know... *Goes into a room.*
(Lauren: Haha, Creepy Guy Creeped Out.)
(Anthony: Yeah, thought it would never happen.)

Dark Spirit: The black Magick, Darkness, gives you its blessing. *Becomes a bat-like creature and gives power.
(Lauren: Darkness DARKNESS darkness.)
(Anthony: Lol, Ansem.)

Cassandra: He's blonde.
Kuja: Amazing observational skills, there.
(Lauren: Heeheh, I like the contrast wheel on the bottom of my monitor. It's fun.)
(Anthony: …)
(Lauren: Ok... Back to planet earth.)

Thorn: *Puts his arm around Lierlo.* Let's get him to bed.
(Lauren: *Giggles quietly.*)
(Anthony: Heh heh heh, Thorn/Lierlo thoughts?)
(Lauren: You know it!)
(Anthony: I don't think Lierlo's that way inclined.)
(Lauren: He isn't really. But you know me, I'm Thorn/anybody.)
(Anthony: Lol. Thorn/Thorn.)

Thorn: *Lifts him up and carries him to his room.*
(Lauren: Thorn, the strongest man in the world!)

Cassandra: *Stands over Lierlo, gazing at him.*
Thorn: What is it, Cassandra?
Cassandra: He's blonde.
(Lauren: Heheh when Cassy said 'he's blonde,' it made me think of a Sabrina episode.)
(Anthony: Hmm?)
(Lauren: Sabrina: Salem, there are four bottles here.
(Lauren: Salem: Very good Sabrina, now what colour is the tablecloth?)

(Lauren: Damn brb.)
(Anthony: 'Kay.)
(Lauren: But here's the recap for you to look over while I'm gone.)
Cassandra: *Strokes Lierlo's hair.*
Laurenza: Ooh... *Whispers.* I think someone likes your brother, Roreille...
Roreille: I do not know, maybe she just likes his hair...
(Lauren: I have returned. You ready?)
(Anthony: *Ties a scarf round my ankle and puts on Spice Girls music.* I am...)
(Lauren: ...)
(Anthony: J/k)
(Lauren: Beware, I have a bad case of the typos today.)
(Anthony: Wpow meer toi.)

CHAPTER 39
Kuja: "Oooh ooh ooh la la la..." Wait your turn!
(Anthony: Mwahahaha, Kuja.)
(Lauren: Singin' in the shower.)
(Anthony: I always knew it.)
(Lauren: What?)
(Anthony: That he was the singing in t'shower type.)

Kuja: Kicking the door won't make me go any faster. "La la la LAAAA!" Man I'm good; I could get a record deal.
(Anthony: Lol, yeah right.)
(Lauren: Lol, he's not interested in becoming a famous pop idol, he just likes singing in the shower.)
(Anthony: Hehehehe.)
(Lauren: Poor Lierlo.
(Anthony: Yeah, but don't worry, the world's strongest man is coming to save him.)
Lierlo: *Brings his knees up to his head and buries his face in them.*
Thorn: *Comes round a corner.* Lierlo? Are you ok?

Lierlo: I feel sick, but there's nothing to throw up.
Thorn: Come on, you can use Laurenza's ensuite...
(Lauren: Wow, you remembered she had one.)
(Anthony: I only remember pointless things.)
(Lauren: Lol. *Imagines Laurenza's ensuite: a heavily guarded place dotted with booby traps, armed soldiers and barbed wire, the words 'NO MEN' smeared across the door in blood red lettering.*)

Thorn: Lierlo! *Kneels over Lierlo's body.* Lierlo! *Slaps his face.*
(Lauren: Hahah. *Imagines Thorn and Lierlo having a bitch slap fight.*)

Cassandra: Don't you worry. I'll go look around herre on a special mission to find him! *She walks out the room.*
(Lauren: (^Here. God, I'm not Nelly am I?)

*Outside in the grounds, Tifanel, wearing beige overalls, is doing some gardening.*
(Lauren: I should market a line of action figures with Tif in all his different outfits, like Action Man or Barbie. Apron, Shower cap, overalls... etc.)

Thorn: Right. *He starts dodging through the snakes, beating them off with a series of fire stick and Magick blows.*
(Lauren: Ooh Magick Burny Fire Stick!)

Thorn: Roreille...*Jumps again and grabs an overhanging branch. He uses it to swing over to her.*
(Lauren: *Makes Tarzan noises.*)

Roreille: *Kisses Lierlo on the cheek.* I love you. *She then goes to Thorn, gets Adrienne to shift and hugs him.* Thank you for all your help, Thorn. Please look after Lierlo... *Kisses Thorn on the cheek.*
Thorn: I will.
Adrienne: *Scowls.*
Thorn: *Sees this and kisses Adrienne on the cheek.*
(Lauren: Lol, chain-kissing going on here.)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Adrienne then kisses Laurenza and Laurenza kisses Tifanel who then kisses Voldemort...)

CHAPTER 40
Lierlo: I've done enough stupid things for everyone in the world.
Thorn: Then you can start repenting. You have plenty of time.
(Lauren: *Imagines a giant threatening Thorn/Lucifer-type figure beating Lierlo with a staff shouting, 'REPENT!')

Thorn: It's up to you. Are there any loose ends you want to tie up with her?
Lierlo: A few... like, 'What's your name?' and 'why did you dump me with that bastard of a father of mine?' *He clenches his fist around the chain.*
(Lauren: I should really put a swear filter on Lierlo.)

Adrienne: *Grins.* Just don't be too long. *Kisses him.*
Thorn: *Starts kissing her too.*
Kuja: *Walks past.* Get a room.
(Anthony: He's only jealous, 'cause he'd rather have Thorn's tongue/dick down his throat.)
(Lauren: ...)
(Anthony: Ok, I'll stop now.)

CHAPTER 41
Lierlo: I know how Thorn feels, being separated from the one you love is very painful.
Tifanel: Hope he doesn't do anything crazy. Oh, no offence, Lierlo.
(Lauren: He isn't gonna go crazy, kill a family member and drop offa Dalimoor Head, is he?)
(Anthony: Lol. No.)

*A couple of days pass by uneventfully, unless you count Li managing to get a beer can into the bin without leaving the sofa, but only he thought this was a major achievement.*
(Lauren: Shall someone come and see Thorn or is he gonna surface?)
(Anthony: No, have someone come and see him)
(Lauren: *Stands next to a wheel split into sections with character's faces on it.* Who shall it be?)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: *One of the faces is Ansem*.)

CHAPTER 42
Kuja: I don't think I'll be able to keep it a secret...
Thorn: No me neither. Kind of thing you want to shout from the rooftops, isn't it?
(Lauren: 'I'M GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!')

tThorn: Sure.
(Anthony: *Kicks the extra 't' out of there.*)
(Lauren: *Grabs the extra 't' and runs off with it, giggling.*)

Lierlo: Well... As long as you're both happy, I guess it's ok.
Ana: No it's not ok! My dad's a queer!
(Anthony: Lol, how tactful.)

Kuja: Oh dear... I guess she didn't take the news very well.
(Lauren: Wow.)
(Anthony: Wow?)
(Lauren: Sorry, I've just found the contrast wheel on my monitor again. It's very fun.)
(Anthony: Ok...)
(Lauren: Ok, back to planet earth.)

CHAPTER 43
Kitzie: Hi Lahrney. I'm Kitzie! Wanna be friends? What do you like? I like socks!
Lahrne: Sure, Kitzie...
Cassandra: Socks do have quite a nice texture...
(Lauren: Maybe she and Kitzie secretly steal all of Tif's socks to make a stew.)

*The gang all pile into the room to take a look at baby Ana. Laurenza, looking exhausted, is holding her. Little Ana has a tiny amount of black hair and big, dark eyes. Kuja is stood next to the bed, nursing his hand.*
(Anthony: Heh heh. *Imagines Kuja getting his hand crushed by Renzy.*)

Kuja: Yes, that's very nice. Ok, this isn't a sideshow. You've seen the baby, and Laurenza needs her rest. Out out out out! *Shoos the gang out of the room.*
(Anthony: Heh heh heh. *Imagines Kuja chasing them out with a broom.*)

Kuja: But we always get through it, don't we? *Stokes his arm.*
(Lauren: ^Strokes.)
(Anthony: Hah hah. *Imagines him with a poker on a fire, stoking Thorn's decapitated arm.*)

CHAPTER 44
Kuja: Or... there's always that. *Kisses him back then looks into his eyes.* I love you.
Thorn: You always were a man of great words
(Anthony: Like 'uhh' and 'uhhhh' and 'owowow.')

Thorn: Yeah, well, not everyone appreciates the 'gothic creature from hell' look.
(Lauren: Heheh, 'Gothic Creatures from Hell' sounds like a Nü Metal band.)
(Anthony: Lol, it does.)

Thorn: Lahrne, I still love your mother and Laurenza is... still friends with us.
(Lauren: Naww, he still wuvs Ady.)
(Anthony: Yeah, of course he does.)
(Lauren: Eww, necrophiliac)
(Anthony: Lol, not like that.)

CHAPTER 45
Kuja: Well, if you want to play the Magick game... *He clicks his fingers and disappears in a flash of light, reappearing a few moments later with a pair of sunglasses and flower garlands around his neck.* The weather is much nicer on Calanoa. Cocktail? *Offers one to Thorn.*
Thorn: Ermm...
Lahrne: *Claps.*
Thorn: Ok... *Shakes his hair and is instantly blonde.*
(Lauren: *Imagines.* Lahrne: Feraverto! *Turns Thorn into a water goblet.* Heeheheh.)

Lahrne: *Has his eyes closed and is grunting some in concentration.*
(Lauren: Argh! DBZ!)

CHAPTER 46
*Kitzie and Lahrne jump back as a fiery hole starts to burn through the tree.*
(Lauren: *Dramatic pause.*)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Anthony: Brb.)
(Lauren: Lol, more suspense.)
(Anthony: Back.)
*A large section of the tree disintegrates to ashes, and through the gap steps... Mihako.*
(Anthony: AAAARGH!)
(Lauren: What? what?)
(Anthony: Nothing.)
(Lauren: Why did you scream then?)
(Anthony: Dramatics.)
(Lauren: Lol, 'kay.)

Thorn: I'm sorry. *Walks away.* To you both.
Mihako: So... he is the bad man?
(Anthony: He's baaaaaaaad!)

Cassandra: *Starts to cry.* Nobody loves me! Nobody cares about me!
(Lauren: No one says naww, except for one person in the audience who is quickly shot.)
(Anthony: Lol, by Thorn.)

Thorn: That's why I'd prefer you to use the Magick you have now and learn how to do new things with it.
Lahrne: Is that just a long way of saying, 'read some books'?
Thorn: Yes.
Lahrne: *Sighs.* Fine. I'll go be the best book-reader ever!
(Anthony: *Dresses as a butler.* Or... it could have happened like this:)
(Anthony: Lahrne: Is that just a long way of saying, 'read some books?')
(Anthony: Thorn: No. *Gives Lahrne a large chunk of Darkest Magick.*
(Anthony: Lahrne: Wow, let's go and destroy the world.)
(Anthony: Thorn: Okay, son.)

CHAPTER 47
*Kuja's head is bruised and a trickle of blood is coming from it. He is covered in small cuts, and there is a quite large wound on his chest. Thorn carries Kuja up to his room. He lays him on the bed and starts to tend to his wounds with Magick. As the Magick touches the wounds, it reacts with some substance that is in them, so that it does not heal them. It only makes them worse.*
(Lauren: Looks like Kuja's gonna have to heal the old fashioned way.)
(Anthony: Yup. Ma's home-made, old fashioned way that'll help him grow big and strong.)

(Lauren: So, basically...)
*Kuja stays unconscious for next few days.*
*And Lahrne wonders where his father has got to.*
(Anthony: But nobody wonders where Kuja has got to.)
(Lauren: Lol.)
(Anthony: Lierlo: Say everybody, Thorn and Kuja have been missing for several days now, shouldn't we go and look for them?
(Anthony: Everybody: No.)
(Anthony: Lierlo: Ok, lets play scrabble.)

CHAPTER 48
*They all board The Destiny.*
Tifanel: Ok, let's hit the road... Uh... sky.
(Lauren: *The American studio audience laughs.*
(Anthony: Lol.)
Lahrne: Dum de dum... Whoops! *Presses a button, and the airship goes into 'OMFG That's Fast' speed.* Whoooooa!
Lierlo: *Holding on to the back of his seat.* At least we'll be getting there quicker!
(Lauren: Poor Lierlo. If he lets go, he'll go flying.)
(Lauren: ...)
(Lauren: LET GO! LET GO!)
(Anthony: Lol, cruel.)

Girl: Cool! Cosplayers!
Boy: It's a bit early for Halloween.
(Anthony: Ooh.)
(Lauren: What?)
(Anthony: Audience: Jerry! Jerry!)

Thorn: We'd appreciate it. *Holds out his hand.* I'm Thorn.
Larzel: *Gives him five.* Larzel Maguire.
Lahrne: I'm Lahrne!
Tifanel: Tif.
Li: Li.
Lierlo: Lierlo.
(Anthony: Goofy: The name's Goofy.)

Lierlo: *Randomly waves his sword at a robot and it by chance strikes it in a weak point, disabling it.*
(Anthony: *Imagines Lierlo swinging a sword about randomly, really fast.*)

Thorn: Great. *Laughs.* Finally...*Spreads out his hands, and energy bolts shoot out of them from all angles, however, this Magick is red, not Thorn's usual black colour.*
(Lauren: Significance?)
(Anthony: Patience, young grasshopper.)
(Lauren: Lol. My line.)
(Anthony: I stole it. Mwhahaha.)

CHAPTER 49
Thorn: I better go up and give this to Kuja, pronto.
(Lauren: *Watches as Thorn runs upstairs in fast foward speed to the Benny Hill theme.*

Thorn: Oh, sorry. *Lays Kuja down.* Okay, Magick time. *Starts to heal Kuja with Magick. Kuja's wounds are all healed.*
(Lauren: And there was much rejoicing.)
(Anthony: Lol. *Imagines parades and stuff.*)

Kuja: What happened to my Dragon, anyway?
Thorn: I don't know, when we went back, it had gone.
Kuja: Oh, it can't have gone far...
Thorn: I assumed it had flown home or something.
(Lauren: Nice, naive little Thorn.)
(Anthony: Ok, Thorn assumed that the Dragon had transformed into a beach ball and then had been abducted by aliens.)
(Lauren: Rofl. The Dragon was mortally wounded. It died and the Furani people moved it along. But Thorn doesn't know that.)
(Anthony: Oh no. Poor Dragon.)
(Lauren: Yeah. I don't think Ku was that attached to it though, he didn't even name it.)
(Anthony: Oh.)
(Lauren: He still liked it though, he'd be mad if he knew it was dead.)

Thorn: *Walks up to the drawer and pulls out the cuddly toy. It is a very cute, fluffy feathered swan. He smiles.*
(Anthony: Whose is it? Is it Adrienne's?)
(Lauren: No.)
(Anthony: Hmm...)
(Lauren: What?)
(Anthony: Is it...)
(Anthony: Ares'?)
(Lauren: Rofl.)
(Anthony: Heh heh.)
(Lauren: Whose room is it in?)
(Anthony: It can't be Kuja's.)
(Lauren: Why can't it be?)
(Anthony: Because he's a grown up, grumpy dude.)

Kuja: *Snuffles in his sleep.*
(Lauren: Kuja: *Sirius in his sleep.*)

Kuja: *Snores.*
(Anthony: Hah hah.)
(Lauren: But its not a loud dustbin rattle snore, its cute and soft.)
(Anthony: Lol dustbin rattle. Hm. Wouldn't it be funny if Ares waddled instead of walking like a normal person?)
(Lauren: Yes. Now wasn't that totally random?)
(Anthony: Yes. But it was funny.)

Thorn: Yah! *Swings the stick across.*
(Lauren: *Imagines Thorn saying 'yah' like Link.*)

Tifanel: Not bad. Now try the vertical cut. *He demonstrates.*
(Lauren: Press B whilst Z-targeting...)

Lierlo: What's wrong with me?
Li: *Grumble (Ares) grumble.*
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: No, it won't stay in the final version.)
(Anthony: Lol I didn't think it would.)

Tifanel: *Goes to Thorn and Kuja.* Ladies, this isn't a social event. Let's see you two duelling!
(Anthony: Lol, ladies.)

Thorn: Come on, Kuja. Hit me!
(Lauren: …Baby one more time!)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Thorn: *Ducks.*
(Lauren: QUACK.)

Kuja: But if and when it does come, we'll be ready. *Leans against Thorn.*
Thorn: Yeah.
(Lauren: Gahhh, I don't know what to do now.)
(Lauren: There's always the...)
(Anthony: *Gasp.* Skippy time power?)
(Lauren: Yeah, that as well.)
(Anthony: Oh.)
(Lauren: I was talking about the Lierlo Storyline #293497329872872983202390348347837289721902.)
(Anthony: Oh.)
(Lauren: But no one cares about that.)
(Anthony: Yes I do.)
(Lauren: You do? Wow. Thought you might be sick of stuff involving Lierlo.)
(Anthony: Nah.)
(Lauren: Goody. I might use my skippy time powers after all.)
(Anthony: Yup.)
(Lauren: *Wiggles her fingers in a mysterious kind of way.* SKIPPY TIME POWERS... ACTIVATE!)

CHAPTER 50
Thorn: I wonder why he wants us to ignore it.
Lahrne: 'Cos he's weird?
Thorn: I think there might be a more... better reason.
(Anthony: Hah hah, great linguistic talents, Thorn.)
(Lauren: Lmao, almost exactly what I said: 'great grammar there, Thorn'.)

Thorn: I wasn't really expecting anything... I won't really mind if we don't... It's on August the 27th.
Tifanel: We'll have the biggest rave this town has ever seen.
Li: Beer, loud music, loose women...
Laurenza: Li!
Li: Ok, scratch the loud music.
(Lauren: I have no idea why, but I suddenly got the mad image of Li and Tif giving Thorn a present for his b'day, and it's a shoe horn.)
(Anthony: Lmao.)
(Lauren: I was thinking 'What do you give a 1726 year old Dark Angel for his b'day? Of course, a shoe horn!')

Thorn: *Sits by Kuja's bed and puts his face in his hands.*
Kuja: *Makes small whimpering noises in his sleep.*
(Anthony: Meh, I don't know what else to do.)
(Lauren: Well, you could a) wake up Kuja, b) don't wake up Kuja c) have a tea party.)
(Anthony: Ok.)
(Anthony: Thorn: Tea, anyone?
(Lauren: Lierlo: Yes please!
(Anthony: Hah hah hah, no.)

Thorn: I can't believe this...
Kuja: I can. I knew it was gonna happen, but I prayed the time would never come... (Anthony: Gah, I don't know what else to say.)
(Lauren: You don't have to say anything. They can just sit there, crying in each others arms, getting naked.... Err, maybe not that one…)

Thornada: Existo ego Thornada. Famulor illi obscurum...
(Lauren: It's Thorn with a cheesy rubber costume on, really.)

CHAPTER 51
Kuja: Hey, it's the first one I've ever celebrated. I need to make up for the others I didn't. *Goes to a table with some presents wrapped up in shiny paper.* Hmm... Decisions, decisions...
(Lauren: Don't open it! It's a bomb!)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Lauren: Heheh, what have I been eating today?)
(Anthony: Crazy Flakes.)
(Lauren: Washed down with a glass of Loony Juice.)

Kitzie: PASS THE PARCEL!
Kuja: Oh, for crying out loud... Fine! We'll play your stupid game if it will shut you up.
(Anthony: Oooh.)
(Lauren: What.)
(Anthony: Chill, Bill.)
(Lauren: You know that Kuja has little patience with small children and animals, and Kitzie's both!)

Thorn: Hah hah, ok. *Puts on a party hat.*
(Lauren: A pink one with sparkles.)
(Anthony: If you like.)

Kuja: 'So Kuja, what did you do for your 23rd birthday?' Oh you know, the usual, played some retarded kiddie games..
(Anthony: Ah well, I bet the party will really start when they go to bed.)

*The music starts off again and around goes the parcel.*
(Anthony: Hah hah, it would be funny if the final prize was a framed picture of Kitzie's butt.)
(Lauren: Lol, who would have taken it?)

CHAPTER 52
Kuja: Oh yeah, I'm so sexy.
Thorn: *Comes up behind him.* Got that right.
(Lauren: You don't know how wrong I could take that.)
(Anthony: Eww, I only just spotted that.)
(Lauren: Only cos I'm sick and twisted.)
(Anthony: Heh heh, yup.)

Thorn: No... I've never had any... Who could have sent it?
(Anthony: Maybe Dumbledore got it from your father.)

CHAPTER 53
*Li and Kuja give each other the look of death but say and do nothing.*
(Anthony: Lol, laser beam eyes.)

Julian: *Bangs the TV back together.* That should do it. *Switches it on, just in time for the Jim Terano Show.* There, all done.
(Lauren: I think that's the only thing on TV ever.)

Kuja: *Moves towards Julian, his face almost expressionless. His voice is cold and harsh.* DIE...
(Lauren: Man of many words, hmm?)

Thorn: But why? Why not just go for Julia?
(Lauren: ROFL.)
(Anthony: ^n. JULIAN.)

*Suddenly, out of the debris of Orca, a bright light comes rocketing past them and off into the distance.*
(Lauren: The bright light would have gone 'sschhhooooww', but there is no sound in space. :P)

Kuja: *Continues looking at Thorn for a moment, and then drops his head. He begins to rock back and forth.*
(Lauren: Standard crazy person activity #27.)

Thorn: I'll be back later...*Thorn goes up out of the dungeons again.*
(Lauren: Where's he off?)
(Anthony: He's gonna go to his room and wallow in loneliness. And that does NOT mean masturbate.)
(Lauren: I didn't think that until you said it.)
(Anthony: Heh heh... good.)

Thorn: No matter. So, is there anything you'd recommend?
Jo: I don't know, wait and see what tomorrow brings? I'm sorry I can't help you more...
(Lauren: Useless old bag! BWAHAHA!)
(Anthony: Lol, poor Jo.)

CHAPTER 54
Lahrne: No, I'm only just getting started. Here come the pinchers! *Pinches Thorn gently all over.*
Thorn: Ooh, ow...*Laughs again.*
(Anthony: All over? *Raises and eyebrow.)
(Lauren: Be quiet.)
(Anthony: Hee hee hee.)
(Lauren: As in arms, belly and legs. Incest is not something I'd like to include in the RP.)
(Anthony: Lol, eww.)

Tifanel: I reckon this holiday's gonna be a blast, don't you? I mean, if we ever go on it. I wish Kuja would get sane again.
Li: Yeah, me too. But come to think of it, the resident loony's been unusually quiet today. Do you think he's died down there? *Laughs.*
(Anthony: Mean.)
(Lauren: Yup, meanie Li. But Thorn's prolly waiting in ambush, to jump out at them with an Ares mask on.)

Lahrne: *Anger blazes in his eyes and runs towards the exit of the shop.* Lemme at him! Lemme at him!
(Anthony: Heh heh, Scrappy Doo.)

Lahrne: Ok! Let's go!
(Anthony: *Klonoa theme plays.*
(Lauren: Lol, I imagined him saying it like Klonoa.)

Thorn: *Is looking at Magick books.* I don't think we should get one of them, Lahrne. *He knocks a book of a shelf, and bends down to pick it up. Someone has also gone to pick it up. Their hand lands on Thorn's. Thorn picks up the book and looks up at the person. It's... *
(Anthony: Tum tee tum…)
(Lauren: Monty Python's Flying Circus!)
(Anthony: Not exactly... Lol.)
(Lauren: JUST SAY IT!)
(Anthony: Ok, here goes…)
*It's… Tobias.*
(Lauren: AAAAARRGH! But I'm glad its not Ares.)
(Anthony: AAAAAAAAARGH! *Jumps out window.*)

Tobias: Obviously not. Well, let me give you some friendly information. They're not happy with you. First Lucifer, then Ares... it won't be long before they come for you... *He runs out of the shop, and out the exit.*
(Lauren: Well, that convo with Tobias ate up the time, eh? I gtg now.)
(Anthony: Ok. Heh heh… *Imagines Tobias eating a clock.*)

*The three of them go inside, and find Roreille sat holding some papers, looking a little disappointed.*
(Anthony: Thorn: Roreille! *The two run to each other in slow motion and kiss passionately.*)
(Anthony: Thorn: Roreille, wake up.)
(Anthony: Roreille: Huh?)
(Anthony: Thorn: This is a dream.)
(Anthony: Roreille: *Wakes in her bed.* Shoot.)
(Lauren: Rofl.)
(Anthony: Hee hee hee.)
(Lauren: No.)
(Anthony: I know.)
(Lauren: Back to the real RP.)

Kuja: Well, I don't play golf, I'm not a fan of swimming pools and I don't enjoy running around in ladies' beachwear.
Lierlo: But I'm sure there are lots of other things to do there that you would enjoy, Kuja.
(Anthony: Kuja: Can this get any worse?)
(Anthony: Kitzie: Bo-Bo and his friends are coming too!)
(Anthony: Kuja: *Falls anime-style.*)

Lahrne: *Goes to the airship and tries to Magickally move one of the bags, but he isn't very good at it. The bag moves very slowly in short, jerky jumps.*
Thorn: You... want me to help?
Lahrne: No. I'm better than I was before. I could only make them wobble before.
(Lauren: *Imagines Lahrne taking in the bags one by one with Thorn standing by doing nothing. 3 hours later...*)

Lahrne: I'll be able to do that one day.
Thorn: I bet you will.
(Lauren: And one day you'll be EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLL!)
(Anthony: Lol, yup.)
(Lauren: And he'll kill Thorn. But no more a fitting end for a Magus such as he.)

Tifanel: 'A fantastic and fun water adventure for all the family.'
Thorn: Where's that?
Tifanel: Coral Spring Park, Calanoa.
(Anthony: Dun, dun, DUN!)
(Lauren: What?!)
(Anthony: Dunno, it just seemed like a 'dun, dun, DUN!' moment)
(Lauren: Lol. Even though it wasn't.)

Li: Fine, I'll just invite all my loud, rowdy, drunken friends along too.
Tifanel: You don't have any friends.
(Anthony: I just said those EXACT words!)

CHAPTER 56
Thorn: *Nudges Kuja.* So, Bo. Glad you could find time to come with us...
Bo: I'm glad you invited us. I was surprised to be honest, I didn't think you'd want to have much more contact with us... after everything with that Ares woman coming back.
(Lauren: Lmao Areswoman.)

CHAPTER 57
Kitzie: *Dances on top of the water.*
(Lauren: Reminiscent of FFX.)

*Bo and Jo are lying by the side of the pool on loungers, laughing. Bo has put on some reflective shades and Jo is wearing a garland of flowers around her neck. Also by the side of the pool, Tinny is laying bacon, burgers and sausage on a barbecue and covering them in sauces. Lenny is stoking up the fire with his own flaming breath.*
(Anthony: That's all mine.)
(Lauren: I still have to do Lahrne.)
(Anthony: That's oh yeah. No wait, I got it. *Lahrne is checking out a hardcore Satanism magazine, pulling out the fold-out pages and whistling.*)

Tinny: *Sips her drink.* Mmmm.
(Lauren: I'm wondering what Thorneh and Kujeh are doing.)
(Anthony: I'll give you three guesses...)
(Lauren: Making paper maché models of the Eiffel Tower?)
(Anthony: Indeed.)
(Lauren: Or... protesting about the use of animals in cosmetics testing?)
(Anthony: Indeed, that too. Or, there's always the crazy idea that they might be shagging each other senseless... or is that too crazy?)
(Lauren: Actually, I think that's what they might be doing after all. But hasn't Thorn been pining for the water slide even a little?)
(Anthony: No, which makes me think something is horribly wrong.)
(Lauren: Why?)
(Anthony: Well, he's like, a thousand years old. Why wouldn't he want to go on the water slide?)
(Lauren: Lol.)
(Anthony: Heh heh.)
(Lauren: I want to go to Thorn and Kuja, but I want to make sure they're not in the middle of doing something naughty.)
(Anthony: Well, you're the boss. Maybe you can go to them, and they've just finished.)
(Lauren: So they're all naked under the covers. Yeah, I like that idea.)
(Anthony: I thought you would :P)

Lahrne: But it's fun! The water slide rocks!
(Anthony: Thorn: Must... resist...)

Thorn: No, you go and have fun. I'm fine here.
Lahrne: Fine! Be boring!
(Anthony: ''He's going evil, evil, evil, more evil than Aaares...'')
(Lauren: ....)
(Anthony: *Cough.* Thorn doesn't wanna go swimming; he wants to catch some Z's.)
(Lauren: Lol, typical Thorn.)

Ana: *Has taken hold of Smiley's tail in her little hand and she is sucking on the tip of it.*
(Anthony: Aw.)
(Anthony: Take away 'tail.')
(Lauren: Sicko.)
(Anthony: Hee hee, that's me.)

CHAPTER 59
Kuja: Well... what I want to say it... um... well... I...
(Lauren: GAH! TOO MANY TYPOS TONIGHT!)
(Anthony: Heh heh. TYPOS! THE MIGHTY GREEK GOD OF SPELLING ERRORS!)
(Lauren: LOL.)
(Anthony: Enough capitals.)

Kuja: Hey, now that we've done that, we could say that we're on our honeymoon. And you know what couples do on their honeymoon? *Winks.*
Thorn: *Laughs.* Yeah, why not?
*The two lovers return to their room for some night time activity.*
(Lauren: Can I come watch?)
(Anthony: Dirty girl.)

CHAPTER 60
*Kuja is sat on the edge of the pool. He is reading a book (just for a change.)*
Li: Don't worry guys. I have a plan. *The three boys huddle close and whisper to each other. They snigger to themselves.*
(Lauren: They're gonna rob a casino?)

Li: Hee hee hee. *He yanks Kuja into the pool.*
(Anthony: Brb.)
(Lauren: 'Kay.)
(Anthony: Back.)
(Lauren: Lo. So, we left it at Kuja being pulled in da water by Li.)
(Anthony: Yes. Evil sods.)
(Lauren: Lol.)
(Anthony: I hope somebody with the power to kill them does so. Now.)
(Anthony: Ares: Somebody call?)
(Lauren: Lol.)
(Lauren: *Throws Ares out the window (and most likely into a well.)*)
(Anthony: Lol.)
(Anthony: Samara: Nice of you to drop in. *Drum beat and cymbals clash.*)

CHAPTER 61
Lahrne: I'll go get him! *Runs upstairs and pounds on Thorn's bedroom door.* Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Thorn: *Opens the door.* Yes? What is it?
Lahrne: Aunty Laurenza wants you to come downstairs.
Thorn: Sure. *He heads downstairs with Lahrne.*
(Lauren: Didn't Thorn find it annoying that Lahrne practically broke down his door like that?)
(Anthony: Nope, this is Thorn were talking about. Constantly using the Forgivaga ability.)

Laurenza: I'm just letting you know... I got into contact with my old friend Vixen; some of you have met her. She said that the people in the apartment opposite hers are looking for a roommate. I'm going to be moving there in a couple of days. I'm taking Ana with me
(Anthony: Tidus: Couple of days? ...Yeah right, I thought.)
(Lauren: Lmao. When did he come into the RP?)
(Anthony: Just then.)

Thorn: You can count on me, Laurenza.
(Lauren: *Imagines Thorn saying that in a high-pitched Cream/Charmy voice.*)

Connor: Nice to meet you. I'll get your bags. *He takes Laurenza's things and puts them in the car, whilst Vixen and the girl put in Ana's pram.*
(Anthony: *Imagines them throwing it in.*)
(Lauren: Evil.)
(Anthony: Oh yeah, like you weren't thinking the same thing.)
(Lauren: I wasn't. :P)

CHAPTER 62
Kuja: Oh, come on! You're not seriously going to lock me away just for having purple hair? That's just silly! And it's not really purple; anyway, it's sort of silverish too.
Lahrne: Oh... you were lucky this time, but one toe out of line again, and we'll have you!
(Lauren: Oh oh oh, guess which storyline is about to start now!)
(Anthony: Which?)
(Lauren: Guess.)
(Anthony: Wow! the Guess storyline! I've been waiting for this!)
(Lauren: Lol, no, it's Kuja's momma!)
(Anthony: Heh heh, ok.)
(Lauren: Wo bist das Thorn?)
(Anthony: Die Thorn ist in deines betzimmer, er gibt in zehr zu oft, ja?)
(Lauren: Ja. Ich wonder warum. I don't know what 'wonder' is in German.)
(Anthony: Denke. Ich denke... usw.)
(Lauren: Ich... oh, screw it with the German.)

Kuja: Who the hell are you?
Heather: Don't you remember me? It's me, Heather, your mother.
(Lauren: *Add dramatic chords here.*)

CHAPTER 63
*It is the same boy who was in the picture in the book. He is short and slightly chubby, and has soft brown hair and dark blue eyes.*
Thorn: *Looks into the boy's eyes.* K... Kuja?
(Lauren: Kuja: I'm flattered that you know me, Thorn...)
(Anthony: Lmao.)
(Anthony: Wait, shouldn't that be...?)
(Anthony: Kuja: I'm flattered that you know me, Thorn... died of died of died of died of died of...)

Kuja: No use, I can't get in...
(Anthony: Can El Thornio use his mumbo jumbo?)
(Lauren: Why yes, yes he can.)

Alexander: Everything you know is a lie. All your memories are fake. Everyone you know and love is not real.
(Anthony: That's what I said to my brother once on April Fools day.)

Kuja: Thorn... *Smiles seductively.*
Thorn: *Steps forward, smiling.*
(Lauren: God, Thorn is such a horny b. Even in weird story book-Kuja's mind-parallel-dimension-worlds he wants a shag.)

*Thorn suddenly finds himself (shirt and all) back outside the room. The door is closed. The next room is marked 'True Love.' Thorn walks through it. Inside is a room filled wall to wall with portraits of Thorn. There are even some on the ceiling. All of the portraits have Kuja's name written on them. In the corner, amongst all the pictures of Thorn, is the tiniest picture of Laurenza, but it does not say 'Kuja' on it.*
Thorn: Oh... I feel so sorry for Laurenza. This isn't exactly making me feel any better.
(Lauren: Do you get the significance of the Thorn pics having Ku's name on them?)
(Anthony: No.)
(Lauren: 'You belong to me.')
(Anthony: *Screams and jumps out of the window.*)

*There is nothing more in this room.*
(Anthony: Geez, you make it sound like a text based adventure.)
(Lauren: Lol. You cannot get ye flask.)

*The room is completely empty, other than a table with a plate of chocolate cake.*
Thorn: Oh Kuja... You really might be anorexic. I must remember to have a serious talk with you when I get out of here...
(Lauren: And the penny finally dropped. And the clang it made was so loud, it resonated through the entire universe, destroying several planets.)

CHAPTER 64
Thorn: I... I will fight whatever it is inside of me. I will combat the evil inside my self, and I will destroy it. And I will do it for you.
(Lauren: Will he turn the world upside down and reorder time?)
(Anthony: Of course. But he will not wear that costume. Ever.)
(Lauren: Aww...)

Kuja: *Turns to Heather.* Do I really have to eat this?
(Anthony: Lol, I misread that as *Turns into Heather.*)

Lierlo: *Puts his arm around her.* Never mind. They just don't understand your... interesting cooking techniques, Mihako.
Mihako: Then you will have some of my cooking?
Lierlo: Um... of course, heh heh...
(Lauren: Poor Lierlo. The things he does for love.)
(Anthony: Yeah, and she doesn't even love him!)
(Lauren: Naww, dont say that to Lierlo.)
(Anthony: He can't hear me.)
(Lauren: Lierlo: Yes I can... *Sad face.*)
(Anthony: Ooh, I could see that coming.)

Kitzie: Yummy fishy-wishy in Creepy Guy's tummy! *Pokes Kuja's stomach.*
Heather: 'Creepy Guy?'
Kuja: Don't ask...
(Anthony: Hmm…)
(Lauren: What?)
(Anthony: It would seem embarrassing. First your mum finds out you got a boyfriend, then she finds out you're a mass torturer.)
(Lauren: Lmao. It's so annoying when that happens.)

Heather: Is purple still your favourite colour then?
Kuja: Yeah, and red's ok too, I guess.
(Lauren: Heheh, the colour of evil.)

Heather: *Puts the red make up back around Kuja's eyes.* But you're so beautiful. We've got to show Thorn how nice you look.
Kuja: No! He'll think I'm nuts!
(Lauren: Like he doesn't already?)

Heather: Anyway, they'd probably just be jealous of how fantastic you look.
(Anthony: Geez, another misread. It looked like it said 'they'd probably just be jealous of how futuristic you look.')
(Lauren: Heheh, Kuja in a space suit.)

CHAPTER 66
Lierlo: *Looks out of the room.* Is it safe?
Tifanel: Yep. Li'll be no threat to us now. He's waaaay too busy all holed up in his room with that Scorn girl.
Lierlo: *Starts helping Tif clean up.* Oh, I didn't know they were friends.
Tifanel: They're not. He's just looking for nookie. *Starts mopping up rather violently.*
(Anthony: Poor Tif, he's jealous.)
(Lauren: Not in that way.)
(Anthony: I know.)
(Lauren: He's not jealous of Li having Sorn/Scorn having Li. He's mad cos Li acts different to him when he's with a girl!)

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